Buttermilk Sky

 We are hours away from June busting out all over but already hands are being thrown and somebody is going to get hurt. Whether you call it "playful teasing" or "a harmless scuffle,"  Brigitte Macron  definitely made contact with her husband Emmanuel as their plane arrived in Vietnam.  A member of their team described it as "a moment of closeness" as France's first couple relaxed one last time before the arduous task of meeting officials and seeing the sights.  Some people just hold hands.   Elon Musk turned up at the White House for his farewell party sporting the beginnings of a black eye and, as the  New York Times  drily noted, "The list of possible suspects seemed long."  According to Musk, he invited his son X AE A-12, a/k/a X, to slug him.  X, the five-year-old known for depositing boogers on the Resolute desk, was not available to confirm or deny.  Whispers suggest a violent encounter with Stephen Miller, suspicious tha...

 "To have something to show for your time on this earth is very gratifying," says  Gary Duschl  in today's Guardian.  Grandchildren?  Wealth?  One perfect haiku?  Mr. Duschl is a Canadian-born businessman who now lives in Virginia Beach and holds the record for making the world's longest chain of chewing gum wrappers.  (23.226 miles if you don't feel like clicking.)  We need more immigrants like this. According to the FAKE NEWS the American Renaissance has been somewhat delayed.  I'm pretty sure corporate profits are supposed to rise while unemployment decreases.  That's what we became accustomed to seeing during 2021-2025, despite Joe Biden being very old. The Make America Healthy Again (MAHA) Commission handed in its  report  incoherent with fictitious "citations" and garbled AI which the White House blamed on formatting.  Meanwhile Secretary Brainworm has threatened to keep federal researchers from publishing in su...

 Admit it -- you never heard of the U.S. Court of International Trade, did you? Yeah, me neither.  But we have one and they're my new favorite part of the government.  Yesterday the three judges -- appointed by Reagan, Obama and Trump, we always have to say now -- ruled that Trump's tariffs violate the Constitution, specifically Article I, Section 7 ("All bills for raising revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives") and Section 8 ("The Congress shall have the power to lay and collect taxes").  Trump has been strangely silent, and all Ghoul  Miller  could manage was to rant about another "judicial coup."  He's a little distracted -- his wife  Katie  is leaving the White House to work for Elon Musk, also leaving.  Musk is unhappy about the Big Billionaire Bastards Bill because it increases the deficit, or so he says.   Trump has a history of flouting courts and this one will probably be overturned by SCOTUS but all ...

It's the end of May, it's hot and muggy, but I could swear I woke up this morning to the strains of Sonny and Cher singing "I Got You, Babe."  Please help. Once was bad enough.  We seem to be going around and around and around... SpaceX's Starship rocket exploded on takeoff for the third, sixth or ninth time, depending on the source.  They call it a "rapid unscheduled disassembly," but it's still an assload of money down the crapper.  It's as predictable as Halley's comet. Literacy tests for voters were abolished in the 1965 Voting Rights Act but Trump's nominee for the federal bench in Missouri wants to bring them back.   Josh Divine  is 35, which means he wasn't born in 1965, but he wrote an opinion piece favoring the tests while a junior at the University of Northern Colorado.  Since then he has worked for Clarence Thomas and Josh Hawley and is currently Missouri's solicitor general.  The test for black people seeking to regist...

 "When I think of masculinity, this is what I think about.  I mean, look at this titan.  Look at that menace, that mountain of muscle.  I mean, come on.  Those biceps?  Boom.  That fierce look in his eyes.  Outside of the physical characteristics that make David Hogg indistinguishable than a survivor from a concentration camp, the more important component is that he never stands up for core values."  ( Charlie Kirk  explaining why he finds David Hogg insufficiently Tom of Finland, while off-handedly mocking the survivors of death camps) "We're gonna have a big celebration, two hundred and fifty years.  In some ways I'm glad I missed the second term where it was, because -- I wouldn't be your president -- for that most important of all in addition we have the World Cup and we have -- the Olympics, can you imagine?  I missed that four years and now, look what I have, I have everything.  Amazing the way things work out. ...

  Graduation at West Point was carefully organized so Trump would not have to walk down a ramp clutching the superintendent's hand and spend the next week explaining over and over how treacherous it was.  Nor was he ambushed by a glass of water.  So that's good. This time it was mental rather than physical decrepitude.  He began reading a speech but soon got bored as dyslexics do, and began free-associating about the real estate developer William Levitt, repeating a story he told at the  University of Alabama .  Apparently Levitt, the modest man responsible for Levittown, Long Island and Levittown, Pennsylvania (and therefore for Malvina Reynolds's "Little Boxes"), bought a large yacht and married a much younger "trophy wife" but it didn't bring him happiness.  "It didn't work out too well, but it doesn't -- I must tell you.  A lot of trophy wives.  Doesn't work out.  But it made him happy for a little while, at least, but he found a...

  The Army -- that would be ours -- would like to know if men dressed as Rangers fired automatic weapons at the civilians on a crowded public beach in Destin, Florida last Friday.  So would I.  A spokeswoman at Fort Benning promises "accountability" but has nothing more to say one week later, according to  Task and Purpose,  a publication previously unknown to me which sounds like it knows its business.  There's a possibility they were firing blanks as part of the Billy Bowlegs Pirate Festival and nobody bothered to tell the terrified people on the beach.   Nothing can surprise me after Piss-Drunk Pete shared bombing plans with the editor of the Atlantic and then blamed him for being included in the unsecured chat.  And purged a bunch of senior generals and admirals because why would we ever need their experience and expertise?  And fired the commandant of the Coast Guard for being female.  And built a makeup studio next to the brie...

 Trump was present at the launch of a new 5,000-ton destroyer this morning but things did not go as planned.  The ship's hull was crushed as it moved sideways down the slipway, with the stern hitting the water first.  On Truth Social Trump raged about "absolute carelessness" and "irresponsibility" which brought shame to... I'm so sorry.  I misread that.  It was actually  Kim Jong-un  who couldn't get his boat to float.  But the blaming and shaming and demand for scapegoats sounded so much like our Dear Leader.  Apologies. I got confused because a couple of Politburo -- damn it! -- House Republicans named  Warren Davidson  (OH) and Barry Moore (AL) have concocted something called the TDS Research Act, which authorizes the National Institutes of Health to study "the instinctual negative and often violent reaction to any supportive statement or event related to President Trump" (my italics).  That's it.  If you are appalled, ...

 I was kidding when I suggested that George Soros would be accused of rigging the conclave that elected woke Marxist Pope Leo XIV.  Kidding!  I forgot that the Trumpites have no sense of humor as we understand the term, only the capacity to laugh about cancer as long as it's not their own. Ten inmates escaped from a New Orleans  jail  over the weekend.  Five have been re-captured and a maintenance worker admitted he helped them by turning off the water so they could remove a sink-toilet unit and squeeze through the hole.  Until today the big story was how budget cuts contributed to the escape; the jail operates at 60% staffing capacity and inmates are often left unattended. Of course the implied parsimony of the red state government could not go unchallenged, so Gov.  Jeff Landry  hove into view on NewsNation to blame George Soros.  Soros "spent a ton of money in the city of New Orleans, electing these progressive people," he explained, ...

 The Biden family must be regretting their decision to go public with the former president's dire cancer diagnosis, because one entire party/cult and its media jackals have decided to make the experience many times worse than it needs to be.  This is the American hellscape we live in now. To start at the bottom of a very toxic barrel,  Leo Terrell , another Fox News hire and now senior counsel to the assistant attorney general for civil rights --  let that sink in  -- shared an X post that "[Jill Biden] knew about President Biden's health problems.  But still wanted him to run for President.  Evil."  Not content with that, Terrell added, "Elder Abuse!  Criminal Charges??"  Since we now live in Bizarro World, where the "civil rights" division is investigating  Mayor Brandon Johnson  of Chicago for promising to hire black officials, you almost understand Terrell's instinct to protect his own job by pleasing Marse Donald.  Th...

  There is nothing funny about cancer, but in this near-failed state the responses can be amusing.  Exhibit A comes to us from Doofus J. Trump the Younger, who senses a Vast Conspiracy while assuming that Jill Biden is a medical doctor.  Priceless. We're just getting started on Conspiracy Monday.  Please remain seated and remove sharp objects from pockets.   Ronny Jackson , who no longer practices medicine now that he is A Lawmaker (thanks, Texas!) and is best remembered for keeping the Trump I White House supplied with happy pills, accused Joe Biden's doctor of engaging in a "coverup" and not providing quality care.  Jackson, also infamous for lying about Trump's body-mass and mental agility, evoked such Xitter responses as "We deserve to know if he had cancer while he was pretending to be president," which folds into the next theory.  Hold tight. Trump was up all night with his iPhone, which has never left his side unlike Melania, and he came ac...