Warfighting!
The Army -- that would be ours -- would like to know if men dressed as Rangers fired automatic weapons at the civilians on a crowded public beach in Destin, Florida last Friday. So would I. A spokeswoman at Fort Benning promises "accountability" but has nothing more to say one week later, according to Task and Purpose, a publication previously unknown to me which sounds like it knows its business. There's a possibility they were firing blanks as part of the Billy Bowlegs Pirate Festival and nobody bothered to tell the terrified people on the beach.
Nothing can surprise me after Piss-Drunk Pete shared bombing plans with the editor of the Atlantic and then blamed him for being included in the unsecured chat. And purged a bunch of senior generals and admirals because why would we ever need their experience and expertise? And fired the commandant of the Coast Guard for being female. And built a makeup studio next to the briefing room so he'll always be ready for his closeup. (Broken blood vessels on the nose don't build confidence.) And defiantly held another unsecured chat which included his wife, brother and personal lawyer. And erased Col. Paul Tibbets from the DoD website based solely on the name of his plane.
Sneaky Pete surpassed himself with his "Secretary of Defense Christian Prayer and Worship Service," held in the Pentagon auditorium and conducted by his pastor, Brooks Potteiger. Potteiger described Trump as "sovereignly appointed" and bringing "stability and moral clarity to our land." The plan seems to be for these unconstitutional atrocities to be held every month. Perhaps HHS can hook them up with a faith healer. (I'm old enough to remember antiwar demonstrators in 1967 trying to levitate the Pentagon. They should try again, now that it's barely tethered to reality.
As part of his war on education Trump revoked Harvard's Student and Exchange Visitor Certification, an action which was promptly blocked by Judge Allison Burroughs. Perhaps he will change his mind if he finds out that if affects royalty. Princess Elisabeth, heir to the Belgian throne, had intended to complete her two-year Master's in public policy next year (she already has a degree in history and politics from Oxford). If Judge Burroughs is overturned on appeal the princess may want to study in China. Hong Kong University of Science and Technology is actively recruiting international students, specifically those denied enrollment at Harvard.
You don't need an Oxford degree to know that South Africa is not Congo, or that Trump is full of shit. The murder porn he waved at President Cyril Ramaphosa purporting to show "white farmers being buried" turned out to be humanitarian workers carrying body bags in the Congolese city of Goma after an attack by M-23 rebels supported by Rwanda. After a much more cordial meeting with Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni he brought up one of his favorite obsessions, criminals on the loose: "They released jails, Giorgia, from all over the world -- the Congo in Africa. Many, many people come from the Congo. I don't know what that is but they came from the Congo and all over the world they came in." Don't bother asking him about Namibia, which he calls "Nambia."
As an expert on cancer, especially Joe Biden's "stage nine," Trump famously insists that it's caused by windmills. Congratulating himself on his "negotiated deal with the United Kingdom" (talks have barely started) he had some free advice for Keir Starmer: "I strongly recommend...in order to get their Energy Costs down they stop with the costly and unsightly windmills and incentivize modernized drilling in the North Sea where large amounts of oil lay [sic] waiting to be taken." Much healthier.
That's a nasty looking mouth sore. Maybe don't take the grandkids swimming in shit.
Of course Roadkill wasn't the biggest embarrassment in the room. He and the other genius held a press conference "exposing root causes of childhood chronic disease crisis" and decided that this autism thing is out of control. "When you hear ten thousand it was one in ten thousand," Trump explained. "Now it's one in thirty-one for autism. It has to be something on the outside, has to be artificially induced, has to be." Those damn windmills. Or could it be...groceries? Canadians? Fauci?
The shooting of two Israeli embassy employees on Wednesday sounds like a very simple case. We know the name of the shooter, who admitted to the crime (Elias Rodriguez, age 31). We can infer his motive from his chanting "Free free Palestine." He is in custody and has been charged with first-degree murder. On to the arraignment.
But in the Time of Troubles and Trump nothing is what it seems. Stuart Varney made room in the Fox studio for Randy Fine so the self-described "Hebrew Hammer" could confide that he's very nervous working in the same building as Ilhan Omar: "She endorses and supports Muslim terror. So I think that what happened a couple of nights ago for her is probably considered a good thing." He had already called for nuking Gaza. DC Police Chief Pamela Smith promised "an increased presence of law enforcement officers around the community." Newly hired acting US attorney Jeanine Pirro stopped complaining about water not being delivered to her office (talk to DOGE!) to promise the death penalty. The usual suspects are already warning of a vast antisemitic conspiracy which Trump alone can end. All this could change now that we know the victims, Sarah Milgram and Yaron Lischinsky (who were planning to marry) supported Bet Mishpachah, the LGBTQ-friendly synagogue in Washington.
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