Buttermilk Sky

 This could be the last day of "functioning" government for a while, so let's see how it's functioning. There was a  meeting between Trump and the Congressional Democratic leadership.  They wanted to talk about the effect that a shutdown would have on rural hospitals and health care funding.  Bo-RING!  So Trump posted an AI fake about the fake problem of Democrats bringing in non-citizens to vote for them, along with this picture.  Since there is no Latino leader in the House he altered the image of Hakeem Jeffries because African Americans and cartoon Mexicans are pretty much the same.  To Trump, all not-white people look alike.  Fake Schumer says, "They can't even speak English so they won't realize we're just woke pieces of shit," which is how Trump talks, not Schumer.  Real Jeffries responded, "It's a disgusting video and we're going to make clear, bigotry will get you nowhere."  He's half-right -- clearly bigotry gets ...

 "This appears to be yet another targeted attack on Christians in the United States of America," Trump wrote almost immediately after four people were killed and eight wounded at a Mormon church in Grand Blanc, Michigan, yesterday.  Of course it was nothing of the kind.   Thomas Jacob Sanford,  "Jake" to his limited circle of friends, was MAGA down to his foot fungus.  Before long Lyin' Karoline was walking it back:  he "hated people of the Mormon faith."  Pay no attention to the Trump  sign on his fence. Are you ready for another one?  " Foreign Leaders , and everyone else, 'freak out' when they see the quality and beauty.  Best Oval Office ever, in terms of success and look!!!"  That's Grandpa Syphilis sharing video of the "highest quality 24 Karat Gold" he has used to make the Cabinet Room and Oval Office resemble Mae West's dressing room.  I suspect the expression on the face of the visiting Foreign Leader might...

 1.  She's living on an island (not Epstein's). 2.  Sir!  Sir!  You didn't specify which Portland. 3.  The truth is up there:  "The US  Air Force  is investigating an 'incident' involving a military aircraft from Creech Air Force Base near Area 51 , north of Las Vegas." (Independent) 4.  Assassination by escalator (this goes all the way to the top)! 5.  Who you gonna blame?  Ghost buses. 6.  WAR WITH  VENEZUELA! 7.  WAR WITH  COLOMBIA! 8.  WAR WITH  DEMOCRATS! 9.  Understaffed NOAA, incompetently run FEMA and one of these:

 Kristi Noem is going to have a bad day today.  Even Republicans are complaining about her lack of interest in little details like hurricane relief for  North Carolina,  so intent is she on choosing the most flattering outfit for her next media appearance.  ProPublica tracked down some of the money that's been disappearing in the direction of DHS and found that $11 million had been directed to Naples, Florida, to rebuild a pier after a big-money donor got in touch with her.  Guess what?  She visited the city ten times while she was governor of South Dakota, possibly because Corey Lewandowski owns a home near the pier.  Small world.  (Pro tip:  If you're fleeing wintry South Dakota for a dirty weekend in Florida, don't use state credit cards.) Some colorful new names popped up in the files Congressional investigators received from the estate of  Jeffrey Epstein :  Peter Thiel, Elon Musk and Steve Bannon all shared his hospitalit...

  The escalator stopped with a jerk and Trump got off. Is it possible that his "speech" was reasonable and even factual before the UN general assembly building tried to kill him, triggering memories of Butler, Pennsylvania?  Let's see:: "The Secret Service is involved."  Does he mean they're subjecting everyone in the place to "enhanced interrogation" or that they were plotting against him?  Is he "surrounded by assassins," like the great Jimmy Durante?  What did he find on the White House roof?  MAGA wants answers!  The rest of us couldn't give a wet slap.   Reality check:  Trump's personal videographer ran up the escalator ahead of him and it's programmed to shut down when someone runs on it.  Health and safety.  After thirty seconds the mechanism reset and resumed hauling his tubby ass to the top.  Don't round up the usual suspects.   A British tabloid got it right: A momentary technical glitch folded neatly i...

  Now they're censoring art. "In honor of friendship month, we celebrate the long-standing bond between President Donald J. Trump and his closest friend Jeffrey Epstein," said the plaque on this sculpture , which had a permit to remain on the National Mall until 8 pm September 28.  Park Police said it was "not in compliance," though they didn't say how, and it has already been hauled away.  We'll never know for sure whether it depicts Jeff and Donnie skipping or dancing. "Last time I went after them they gave me $16 Million Dollars.  This one sounds even more lucrative."  You know who that is.  He's threatening to sue ABC/Disney because they put Jimmy Kimmel back on the air (in certain cities) and made him look even more petty and ridiculous than his mental breakdown in front of the UN.  He doesn't even try to make the "last time" seem like anything but a gangster's demand for a payoff.  If ABC doesn't care about ...

 Is anyone familiar with the naturalization process in Russia?  I see that  Tara Reade , a former staffer of Senator Joe Biden (not to be confused with Tara Reid, the star of Sharknado ) has been granted Russian citizenship in a decree signed by Vladimir Putin.  During the 2020 election Reade claimed to have been sexually assaulted by Biden in 1993, but there is no record of the complaint she said she filed.  In 2023 she claimed political asylum in Russia because she feared for her safety everywhere else in the world.  She now works openly for the Kremlin and has shared her story with a sympathetic Tucker Carlson.  Her story failed to prevent Biden's election but I'm sure she did her best.  Question:  Does the president-for-life sign all naturalization decrees or only those of people who have done the state special service? There's an outfit called  Americans for Museums  which seeks to galvanize Americans against museums.  The...

 I was going to write about the financial lifeline the US is throwing to Trump's favorite South American loony  Javier Milei , whose "shock therapy" policies have been as much use to Argentina as his cloned dog, but what's the point?  Tomorrow the world is ending again.  For the Christian elect anyway.  Sorry, not you, Pope Woke.  Tonight at sunset the year 5786 begins with  Rosh Hashanah  ("Head of the Year"), and this year the evangelicals have hijacked it as the date for the Rapture, when they fully expect to be catapulted into the arms of Jesus.  People are leaving instructions for the care of their pets, giving away their cars, and all the other activities their predecessors engaged in for centuries, only to be disappointed.  This time, it's on.  For real.   A South African preacher named  Joshua Mhlakela  is leading the festivities this time, with a YouTube video reporting on his divine vision and Jesus's p...

  When you just want to put your swollen legs up and watch Hannity but you have to dress funny and go to a boring dinner party where none of the women are under thirty and there's no Diet Coke. At least he's wearing underwear.  Not like this pair  couple: Once the White House Make 'em Believe Ballroom is open for business they'll have a lot more practice in formal dressing, which starts with knowing your size before you call the rental place.   The late Joan Rivers got a lot of comedy mileage out of Queen Elizabeth and her chamber pot hats.  I wonder what she would say about Melania's headgear.  (That's her on the right, Trying Not To Be Seen.) Trying it out for the inevitable state funeral?  Which she probably anticipates even more ardently than we do.  Why is the queen explaining her ribbon collection to an understandably (for once) confused Trump? England has seen its share of prophets and prophetesses but none so imaginative as our own...

  Free speech lives.  Not here, but in the United Kingdom, where people prepared a special welcome for a Special Boy.  Impressive, on a weekday. Here, a TV host was taken off the air because he said MAGA is lying about Tyler Robinson's motive for shooting St. Charlie of Kirk.  Worse, he then played the funniest clip of the month: REPORTER:  My condolences on the loss of your friend Charlie Kirk, sir.  How are you holding up over the last day and a half, sir? TRUMP:  I think very good and by the way, right there you see all the trucks, they've started construction of the new ballroom for the White House. He's so brave.  Trump has always hated Jimmy Kimmel and ABC/Disney stopped shitting themselves long enough to "suspend" his show as a little "there, there" to the grieving man.  Please, Mr. Carr, don't hurt us.  Is there anything else we can do to advance the cause of fascism, sir?  Could we give his show to Benny Thompson or the hil...

  This is the gold state coach, used in coronations.  Trump is going to be pissed when he finds out he'll be riding in this one: It's hardly gold at all.  Tea will be a chilly affair. Look what greeted him on the White Tower of Windsor Castle: "Hey, Donald, welcome to Windsor Castle."  Four people were arrested but it's still on Instagram.  The main event is scheduled for today in Parliament Square.  They really hate "paedos." By the way, Queen Camilla skipped the Duchess of Kent's funeral on grounds of ill health.  Could she be setting up an alibi to avoid having to meet Flatulent Don?  I'm just asking questions. This!  The Australian Broadcasting Corporation reporter Trump snarled at yesterday was their Americas Editor  John Lyons .  Australia's treasurer, Jim Chalmers, said Lyons "was just doing his job," and several legislators defended him.  Prime Minister Albanese, who is coming here for the UN opening and not just so Tru...