No comedy tonight

 

Free speech lives.  Not here, but in the United Kingdom, where people prepared a special welcome for a Special Boy.  Impressive, on a weekday.

Here, a TV host was taken off the air because he said MAGA is lying about Tyler Robinson's motive for shooting St. Charlie of Kirk.  Worse, he then played the funniest clip of the month:

REPORTER:  My condolences on the loss of your friend Charlie Kirk, sir.  How are you holding up over the last day and a half, sir?

TRUMP:  I think very good and by the way, right there you see all the trucks, they've started construction of the new ballroom for the White House.

He's so brave.  Trump has always hated Jimmy Kimmel and ABC/Disney stopped shitting themselves long enough to "suspend" his show as a little "there, there" to the grieving man.  Please, Mr. Carr, don't hurt us.  Is there anything else we can do to advance the cause of fascism, sir?  Could we give his show to Benny Thompson or the hilarious Gutfeld!?  Would you like Bob Iger to wax your car?  Even Laura Ingraham thinks Carr went too far.  Laura Ingraham.

Whatever Kimmel does now, he is better known around the world because Trump stood next to Keir Starmer and complained that he "said a horrible thing about a great gentleman named Charlie Kirk" (he didn't) and was "fired for lack of talent."  Not since David Cameron denounced Jimmy Carr's* tax avoidance on ITV News has a comedian had more free publicity.  At this point Kimmel could probably sell out the O2 Arena.

Asked about another ABC show The View, Carr responded darkly, "It's entirely possible there are issues over there...the consequences aren't quite finished."  Message received:  The panel discussed K$H Patel's catastrophic Congressional testimony and Roadkill Bob's latest assaults on American health but nary a word about you-know-who.  They were "on hiatus" for a while and they didn't like it.  

If Pam Bondi is still not clear about the distinction between "free speech" and "hate speech," she should check out today's New York Times.  Hate speech is what Jeremy Fistel of Plano, Texas, shared with Zohran Mamdani:  "Hey Zohran you should go back to fucking Uganda before someone shoots you in the fucking head and gets rid of your whole family too...you're a terrorist piece of shit...go ahead and start your car and see what happens..." etc.  This frank exchange of views occurred in June -- it's pure coincidence that it took until now to extradite him to New York, where he was allowed to post bail for some reason.  Free speech is the New York Post putting out this front page (note the absence of death threats):

The governor looks quite fetching in the uniform of a Cultural Revolutionary from 1960s China.  Maybe that's why the latest Sienna poll shows her with a decisive lead over our old friend Elise Stefanik, would-be UN ambassador and part-time university frightener.  The real question is why big-name Democrats continue to treat Mamdani as if he contracted Ebola on his last trip to Uganda.  Unless some other MAGA carries out Fistel's threats, he's going to win.

Since some Norwegians might have been listening (hint-hint), Trump took advantage of his London presser with Starmer to boast about all the peace he has made:  "I think that we settled Aberbaijan [sic] and Albania."  The thinking is that he meant Azerbaijan and Armenia, which have been squabbling about a forsaken spot called Nagorno-Karabakh for years and which at least three countries have tried to settle.  But sure, why not?  Maybe he negotiated the Good Friday Accord in Northern Ireland, too, while playing a round at Doonbeg.

He also told the startled media that the US is in negotiations with the Taliban for the return of Bagram Air Base.  The last time we dealt with them over 5,000 Taliban fighters were freed to take over Afghanistan, so maybe this is the back end of the deal.  Anyway, they're no longer terrorists.  Guess who are.  Remember antifa, short for "anti-fascist" and less well organized than the Swifties, Taylor Swift's fan club?  Yes, they're back, a "SICK, DANGEROUS, RADICAL LEFT DISASTER" and now a "MAJOR TERRORIST ORGANIZATION."  It's official because it ends "Thank you for your attention to this matter!"  It's very convenient that "antifa" has no leadership and no organization because it can be made to fit everyone from Tom Hanks to Ilhan Omar, like "communist" in the good old days.  Not Tyler Robinson, alas.  His downfall was to fall in love with a trans woman.

Congratulations to Trevor Milton, former CEO of Nikola, under investigation by the SEC since 2021.  The case has now been dropped by the Bondi Department and it only cost Milton a $1.8 million "donation" to Trump.  He also had to hire Pam Bondi's brother as his lawyer.  Pardons and exonerations must be on sale in honor of C____ K____.

The "heartbroken, agonized and completely devastated" millions around the world, in the language of this fuckbonkers petition, want Starbucks to put "The Kirk Special" on the menu (some combination of Christonazism and Earl Grey tea, I believe) to punish baristas who refuse to write the Holy Name of Charlie on cups even when the grief-stricken give it.  ("I am Charlie!")  Really, this is getting out of hand.  They'll want the post office to refuse to sell stamps to anyone who can't recite one of his racist rants.  Save something for the day antifa takes down Alex Jones.

I may have said too much.  May I suggest that sane people tell the barista their name is Melissa Hortman?  Or Harvey Milk?  Or Medgar Evers, James Chaney, Andrew Goodman, Michael Schwerner, Allard Lowenstein -- there are too damn many names to choose from.  Thousands.

*No relation to Brendan