He is the egg man

 "Beautiful young people are being shot in the battlefield.  You know, the bullet, very flat land as I said, and the bullet goes, there's no, there's no hiding, and the bullet, the only thing gonna stop the bullet is a human body.  And you have to see -- I've seen pictures."

Poor old Joe Biden really lost it, didn't he?  Wait, that's not Biden, that's Trump?  Never mind.

The listeners at the World Economic Forum waited patiently for this swamp gas to be translated, but it didn't help.  Do you know why Russia's war against Ukraine goes on?  Because OPEC and Saudi Arabia have not brought down the price of oil, but he's going to get right on that.  Once the price of oil drops, interest rates will follow, for some reason.  He'll demand it.  It's practically done.  

If only it were that easy to lower the price of eggs as he promised.  Maybe it's because avian influenza has led to the deaths of 136 million laying birds in the US since 2022.  Maybe it's not such a great idea to threaten Canada with vindictive tariffs if they resist becoming the 51st state, as they are by far the biggest exporter of eggs to the US.  (Jamie Dimon said at the WEF he's chill with tariffs:  "If it's a little inflationary but it's good for national security, so be it.  I mean, get over it."  Dimon runs JP Morgan Chase, so he can pay ten dollars an egg if necessary.  Let 'em eat Pop Tarts.)

Even before the current freeze, Florida citrus growers were predicting the smallest harvest since 1930.  I suppose it's relatively good news that the crop will require fewer people to gather it.  Most of America's citrus now comes from California, a place Trump hates and clearly has in mind when he threatens to abolish FEMA and leave the states with the sole burden of disaster recovery.  Already farm workers in the state's Central Valley have gone underground, crippling the harvest.

Yes, the ICE raids have begun in Newark, New Jersey, nabbing several Puerto Ricans who failed to bring their passports to work.  White employees working alongside them were not asked to show their papers.  It was a warmup for the big show promised for Chicago, which will include invading churches, schools and hospitals.  It's not clear whether workers or patients will be hauled away from the latter.

This is going to be a boom time for the US construction industry, what with the hurricanes, the fires, and the housing shortage that was already in place.  One problem:  The Associated Builders and Contractors say they will need 439,000 new workers this year.  Where to find them?  Wait a minute, didn't I read something like this after Brexit?  When thousands of UK builders went home to Poland and Romania, or to high-paying jobs in other EU countries?  It's so satisfying when racism bites people on the nuts and bolts, unless you need your roof repaired.

MAGA outrage over The Sermon continues to boil.  Rep. Josh Brecheen (R-OK) has introduced a House resolution to "fully condemn the distorted message that was preached" at God's Chosen on Monday.  You may remember Brecheen from his bill to ban drag entertainment for members of the military.  His resolution says the sermon "is not reflective of the faith community at large," which is sadly true.  

Elsewhere in the House, a posse committee has been formed to investigate the investigation into the J6 coup attempt.  I'm not kidding.  Speaker Mouse Turd "advised" them not to subpoena Cassidy Hutchinson lest the "sexually explicit texts" she received from "lawmakers" be revealed to a shocked, shocked public.  Hunter Biden's junk?  Their own junk?  Is this SOP when a woman testifies about The Leader's crimes, or just a young, attractive one?  Are Republicans lower than wet shit on the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico?  You may very well think so.  I couldn't possibly comment.  By the way, the chairman of this gang is Barry Loudermilk, who led soon-to-be-criminals on a guided tour of the Capitol's back corridors on January 5, 2021.  Of course it is.

Still elsewhere in the House we find Rep. Tim Burchett (R-TN) on the Matt Gaetz Show (am I hallucinating any of this?) raving about "the vastness of God's great universe" to explain the presence of  space aliens moving at hundreds of miles an hour underwater.  He says an admiral told him.  I say Tennessee has way too many representatives.

Of course Trump reserves his choicest brainfarts for Sean Hannity and his audience of mouth breathers.  Possibly by request, he brought back "Rake the forests."  "Austria told me this, head of Austria, head of Finland and it was beautiful the way they expressed this.  'We live in a forest, we are a forest nation,' isn't that beautiful?  'We have trees that are the most magnificent in the world, far more beautiful than what they have in California, and we don't have fires.'"  Hannity of course pointed out that Los Angeles is a city, not a forest -- who's laughing back there?  But was he through?  "Putin shouldn't have done it...You know, they've lost about 850,000 Russian soldiers and 700,000 Ukrainian soldiers."  More like 15,000 but do go on:  "Zelensky, I will say he wants to settle now.  He's had enough.  He shouldn't have allowed this to happen.  You know, he's no angel.  First of all, he's fighting a much bigger entity, OK?  Zelensky decided that 'I want to fight.'"  

Since Trump is an expert on Finland, he surely knows that Finland fought the USSR, "a much bigger entity," to a standstill in the Winter War of 1939-40, sued for peace, then resumed fighting after the German invasion of the Soviet Union in 1941.  Speaking of small countries refusing to stop fighting vast and powerful invaders, anybody here remember Vietnam?  What's the point, anyone who fights is a sucker and a loser.  Make a deal, OK?

And speaking of the shriveled souls of the world's trumps -- please keep your hands inside the ride, we're nearly there -- he cancelled security for Anthony Fauci.  "They all made a lot of money [Bolton, Mike Pompeo, Fauci].  They can hire their own security, too."  Fauci already has.  It's a core belief among MAGA that he conspired with the Chinese to invent covid-19 so he could profit from the fake vaccine which causes autism and turns frogs gay.  The death threats are spiking again.  

Two hundred and seven more weeks like this.  I'm not going to make it.