Friday bloody Friday

 Yesterday I asked the universe for one nice thing and here it is.  Ken Yager is chair of the Republican caucus in the Tennessee state senate.  He was busted for DUI on Jekyll Island, Georgia, after a hit-and-run in his official car.  Troopers tried to administer a field sobriety test but he fell down.  They brought out a breathalyzer instead and the senator blew 0.14 (0.8 being the legal limit).  He spent the night in jail but he had already urinated on himself.

If indicted on the DUI and other charges, Yager is supposed to quit as caucus chair.  Fortunately the new administration is still hiring.  Secretary of Transportation?

In a slightly related story Pete Hegseth stopped by Fox News where Megyn Kelly is apparently doing all the vetting that's being done.  He promised that if confirmed as Secretary of Defense he will go on the wagon, sign the pledge, make friends with Bill W., whatever it takes.  "This is the biggest deployment [sic] of my life and there won't be a drop of alcohol on my lips while I'm doing it." It's not as if SecDef is a high-pressure job.  Kelly did not ask if he has also sworn off sexual assault.

Only weeks ago the biggest problem we as a nation confronted was feral Haitians supposedly eating dogs and cats (and swans and geese) in Springfield, Ohio.  Americans love their pets and the organizations that protect them.  Who could hate the Humane Society?  For one, ex-Congressload Billy Long.

Back in 2011, while representing Missouri in the House, he tried to get the Internal Revenue Service to investigate their tax-exempt status because they opposed large-scale dog breeding ("puppy mills").  Guess who the Leader has named to run the IRS.  Go on, guess.  Wait, it gets better:  the House has already passed a bill to give the Leader the power to cancel the tax exemption of any organization he dislikes.  I can't wait for him to start shaking down St. Jude's Hospital or World Central Kitchen:  "Nice charity you got here.  Be a shame if people couldn't deduct their donations anymore."

Oklahoma! where the wind comes whistling through their skulls, is now the national template, replacing education with religious indoctrination and reining in those annoying journalists.  Check out Senate bill 1837, the sinister sounding "Common Sense Freedom of Press Control Act."  Not much of an assault on the First Amendment, it just requires that all members of the media undergo background checks, be licensed by the Oklahoma Corporation Commission, get a million dollar "liability" policy, pass quarterly drug tests and complete a "propaganda free" training course given by the Department of Jesus Education.  Coming soon to a Congress near you, right, Mikey?  (Pro tip:  Vote against any bill with "common sense" in its title.)

Hey, Big Apple!  Sixty-nine percent of you said Eric Adams should resign as mayor after being indicted for corruption.  How about he goes back to being a Republican?  Would you like that better?  You think he could be angling for a pardon from the Leader?  He was already an embarrassment before the indictment, what with his divine mandate and his magic bracelets, so it might not make any difference.  Out of 8.25 million people, you could probably do better.  Try.

It looks like a unanimous vote in the National Assembly and the presence of thousands of protesters in the streets of Seoul have forced President Yoon to rescind martial law in South Korea.  As Inae Oh writes in Mother Jones, vigilance is key.  This would be a good time to get that pussyhat out of storage.

We haven't heard from Bill O'Reilly's renfield Jesse Watters lately but have no fear, he's still spouting nonsense at the Murdoch Ranch.  Now he's come out against bubble baths for men.  "If you're a guy and you're alone in a bubble bath, that's a problem.  You have to have someone with you," he pontificated.  Jesse, you're full of soap.  I present exhibit A, classic movie tough guy James Cagney in 1933's Picture Snatcher, fresh out of prison and enjoying a solo bubble bath.  "Am I gonna stink pretty!" 

Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield was ready to limit payments based on the length of time the insured spends under anesthesia during a procedure ("Make it snappy, she's only got fifteen minutes of coverage!") when Brian Thompson, CEO of UnitedHealthcare, was gunned down outside the Hilton in midtown Manhattan.  Calling it "significant widespread misinformation," ABCBS announced it was rescinding the change.  When basic humanity fails to effect policy, there's always fear.