Look over there!

 Rep. Beth Van Duyne of Texas is demanding a trial of Alejandro Mayorkas for some unspecified crime involving the southern border because "there are federal charges that have to be labeled [sic] against these people..."  She knows there are crimes, she just doesn't have the evidence yet, just as James Comer knows somebody named Biden did something some time.  Van Duyne has the additional need to distract attention from her affair with the very married Rep. Rich McCormick of Georgia.  No rumor -- she's named in his divorce papers.  The crazy kids are 55 (McCormick) and 53 (Van Duyne).

No sooner did Matt Gaetz withdraw his nomination to be attorney general so he could spend more time with his children, or somebody's children, than the Leader remembered another deeply corrupt Floridian and called Pam Bondi.  In 2013, when she was state attorney general, Bondi declined to join other AGs in a suit against Trump "University" when a check for $25,000 and "Dear Pam, you are the greatest!" card appeared in her mailbox.  (Bribe is such an ugly word -- call it a contribution to her PAC from the equally fraudulent Trump Foundation.)  Only eleven years later and here they are, best pals.  

The Leader has no intention of being obstructed by the likes of Republican op Rance Preibus or General John Kelly -- his chief of staff will be campaign manager Susie Wiles.  A thrill of excitement must be running through her former lobbying clients, including Venezuelan TV network Globovision, whose owner will probably see his money-laundering charges disappear; dodgy car dealer Shafik Gabr; and a Canadian outfit that wants to build a huge mine near Bristol Bay in Alaska.  

Washington hair salons are said to be stockpiling peroxide.

The new CDC director is a typical anti-vax loon, but his claim to fame and a political career was inserting himself into the case of Terri Schiavo.  Dave Weldon also spread the debunked theory that vaccines cause autism.  He used to be a doctor, so maybe medical education needs a thorough overhaul.

The World Health Organization says there were 284,400 deaths from swine flu in 2009 and 2010; according to your new HHS czar this is "FAKE NEWS."  On Russian TV, the launch pad for so many American public careers, Roadkill Bob says it was "fabricated" by the pharmaceutical companies for filthy lucre.  Who you gonna believe -- a respected international body or the guy with a worm in his brain?

A man in the Leader's position can't afford to be made to look ridiculous, and in the wake of the Gaetz debacle a replacement for Pete Hegseth is already being sought, ideally one who is not required to introduce himself to the neighborhood as a sex offender.  I have just the person.  She's a woman who would have no qualms about curtailing the hard-won right of other women to serve in combat.  She's a mom, which will please "breed or die" types like Vance.  She's as dumb as a rock and has been hailed as "the mother of MAGA," and she's apparently desperate to get back into government.  Meet Secretary of Defense Sarah Palin.  Did I mention she can see Russia from her house?  

Don't worry, based on past performance she'll quit after a few months.