Coming attractions

 Rabiul Chowdhury, chair of Abandon Harris in Pennsylvania, was surprised to find leopards eating his face this morning.  The co-founder of Muslims for Trump says, "Trump won because of us and we're not happy with his Secretary of State pick and others."  Mr. Chowdhury is also an investor, so he has tax cuts to look forward to.  But he's not happy, and neither is Rexhinaldo Nazarko.  "It seems like this administration has been packed entirely with neoconservatives and extremely pro-Israel, pro-war people," pouted the head of American Muslim Engagement and Empowerment Network.  Better luck next time, gentlemen, and don't forget to send your membership lists to Stephen Miller.

Look at "influencer" Emily Harris, who's about nineteen but already channeling Phyllis Schlafly.  On a podcast called One Night with Steiny, the Donnybopper displayed a relaxed attitude toward other people's rights:  "I think if everyone in a state wants something, go ahead and have it."  "So if everyone in Alabama wanted slavery back, you'd be OK with that?" asked Dean Withers.  "Sure, if everyone in the state wants it, go ahead.  What do I give a shit?"  She's put a lot of thought into this.  The children are our future.

The Ethics Committee report on Statutory Gaetz must be a triple-X read because Mike "Moses" Johnson is fighting its release for the very cogent reason that "that is not the way we do things in the House."  He's not the most impressive speaker since Rayburn for nothing.  Who thinks the famously puritanical politician would be distributing copies on the Mall if it concerned a Democrat?

Those intrigued by the public health plans of Roadkill Bob Kennedy are directed to this article in February's Guardian.  Fourteen consecutive years of Conservative Party government in the UK resulted in an explosion of diseases believed to have been banished since the Victorian era, including scabies, rickets and scurvy, all associated with poverty.  Measles is back for the same reason as here, baseless rumors about the dangers of vaccine, and sexually transmitted diseases have increased by 50 percent (gonorrhea) and 15 percent (syphilis).   A votre sante!

The sec-designate is a big proponent of raw milk, straight from the cow to your muesli and bursting with e-coli, listeria and whatever the agribusiness company added to Elsie's feed.  How can this be safe, as Margie Greene and other MAGAts insist?  Like this, libtard:

Don't give your money to Big Milk.  Pasteurize it yourself!

Louisiana caught a break this week ("Mr. Landry, tear down those Commandments!"), but Oklahoma continues its rush to the Dark Ages.  Ryan Walters, head honcho of public schools and clearly hoping to be the last US Secretary of Education, is forcing students to watch him in a video announcing his new "Department of Religious Freedom and Patriotism."  To make sure the message is unmistakable he adds, "In particular, I pray for President Donald Trump."  (Walters has already ordered a ton of Trump's made-in-China Bibles.)  Two districts, Tulsa and Oklahoma City, say there's no way they'll screen this thing, and the attorney general calls it unenforceable and contrary to parents' rights.  

Unenforceable.  Contrary to our rights.  I'm already getting nostalgic.

And finally, Michael Moore is fed up with Americans.  "We are not a good people," he substacked, running down the list of awful things we have done.  Mostly, we made him look bad last week.  Come on, America, do better.  We need to read, listen to women and be kind, damn it!  Moore has spoken.