A pattern emerges

 

Say hello to John Jessup, freshly elected Hancock County, Indiana, District 1 Commissioner.  Now say goodbye.  The anti-trans, anti-gay MAGA has pleaded guilty to raping his daughter Rachel in Nevada, and under Indiana law, convicted felons may not serve in state or local elected office.  The high-minded men who wrote the Constitution didn't think they needed to include such a provision for federal offices.  I blame George Washington.

And greet your new Secretary of Education Linda McMahon.  She needs a break from her other job at World Wrestling Entertainment, where she's being sued for allowing a ring announcer to groom and sexually assault boys as young as twelve over a period of years.  Sorry, Ryan Walters, you'll have to be content with replacing education with religious indoctrination in Oklahoma for now.  Molest someone and leave your name with the transition team.

The House Ethics Committee report on Matt Gaetz is the most anticipated read since Rowling retired Harry Potter.  Moses Mike has promised to suppress it but somebody has a copy and it's a matter of time before it leaks, or oozes.  Meanwhile details of Gaetz's slimy career are popping up.  A lawyer named Joel Leppard who represents two of the women who "dated" the attorney general-designate has copies of checks he sent them in 2018 and 2019 and, oh, lordy, there are photographs.  We'll know when the report drops because Mike's antiporn app will blow up and Margie Greene will put fresh batteries in her favorite toy, Steely Don.

Nancy Mace periodically courts sympathy by describing herself as a rape survivor, and she's afraid it will happen again while she's checking her makeup.  She has filed a resolution forbidding "members, officers and employees of the House from using single-sex facilities other than those corresponding to their biological sex."  She is apparently afraid Rep. Sarah McBride, the first transgender member of Congress, will be lurking in a stall waiting to get trans all over her.  McBride is a Democrat and so probably a pervert anyway and she can just slink off to the boys room, says Mace.  Or hold it until she gets home.  This is your very serious national legislature at work.  (Not surprisingly, the Speaker in Tongues has sided with the bigots.  If Rep. McBride needs to take a dump I suggest she open a drawer in his desk and let fly.)

He's back!  Say hello again to former acting attorney general-failed Senate candidate-adviser to fraudulent corporation-toilet for the overly endowed man marketer-unregistered lobbyist Matt Whitaker.  He'll be in charge of ensuring that NATO doesn't make trouble for the Leader's boss Putin.  No reported sex scandals, but it's only November.  Whitaker can get right to work ignoring the undersea cables connecting Lithuania with Sweden and Finland with Germany which were mysteriously severed this week while a Chinese vessel mysteriously appeared in the area.  It's a mystery!  Russia calls suspicions of its involvement "laughable" and in no way connected to US long-range missiles being provided, at long last, to Ukraine.  

Pete Hegseth wants to ban women from the military -- all 225,000 of them -- and create a system of "classical Christian schools" to impose Christofascism on the country, but it's his growing list of rape accusations that has people worried about his confirmation.  The Rape Party held a -- wait for it -- "prayer call" last night and he brought Ofpete along (like the Leader, he's working on his third wife) to hear him testify about his faith.  If Christianity survives for another four years it will be a literal miracle.

This is the kind of political problem I wish we could have:  The government of Dawson City, in Canada's Yukon Territory, is deadlocked and unable to take up business because its new city council refuse to swear allegiance to King Charles.  One member, Darwyn Lynn, who belongs to the Tr'ondek Hwech'in First Nation, said he was troubled by the monarchy's historical relations with indigenous people, and the rest of the council joined him in refusing.  Quebec eliminated the oath two years ago, calling it "a relic from the past."  And here we are, worrying about the future.