Eating the cats

 Trump likes to claim that since he was driven from office in the coup of 2020, "the whole world is laughing at us."  Maybe not laughing, but certainly rocking out.  A South African musician called The Kiffness made a video of Trump's assertion that "they're eating the cats" in Springfield, Ohio, and posted it to Twitter.  It has gone viral and all of Germany seems to be dancing to it.  The Kiffness (David Scott) reports that his song raised over $20,000 for the Springfield SPCA.  When Trump hears that he'll want a royalty.

Not since Franklin D. Roosevelt mocked the Republicans for lying about "my little dog Fala" (September 23, 1944, almost exactly eighty years ago) have animals played so large a role in a human election.  First the governor of South Dakota published a book proudly describing the way she killed a puppy and a goat and killing her chance of running for vice-president.  Then a bizarre conspiracy theory was floated when a real vice-presidential nominee, Tim Walz, was photographed in a St. Paul dog park with two different dogs.  Then there was the unforgettable moment when Trump, frustrated for ninety minutes by Kamala Harris, screamed, "They're eating the cats in Springfield!" and touched off both national hilarity and weeks of misery for the Ohio city.  (I nearly forgot the "childless cat ladies" comment that just made women fall in love with misogyny all over again.)

Now the Guardian has tracked down a story about Kevin Roberts, president of the Heritage Foundation and evil genius behind Project 2025:  Say Goodbye to Democracy.  According to the former chair of the New Mexico State University history department, where Roberts then taught, he told a dinner party about a pit bull called Loca whose barking annoyed the Roberts family until he killed her with a shovel.  Roberts denies it and says Loca tried to attack him and his daughter.  Loca was not available for comment.  Her owner told the Guardian that the dog disappeared. 

Most people who know anything about Project 2025 hate it.  I don't think this will change their minds.

Here's a party game:  Compile lists of animals which are smarter than James Comer.  This morning President Volodymyr Zelenskyy addressed the general assembly of the United Nations, and yesterday he toured a weapons plant in Pennsylvania.  Comer accused the Biden administration of using "taxpayer-funded resources to fly Zelenskyy to Pennsylvania to campaign for Vice-President Kamala Harris."  Sensing a chance to redeem his years-long failure to impeach Biden, Comer wants to open an investigation.  I can't wait for Jared Moskowitz's response.

Gunshots shattered the windows of the Harris-Walz campaign office in Tempe, Arizona, overnight but it's being investigated as a "property crime" because no one was there and violence against Democrats doesn't count.  Harris will be in Phoenix on Friday.  

He's despicable but he knows what a tariff is, so Mitch McConnell denounced Trump's plan to solve all America's problems (including the deficit) with yuge ones.  "They raise prices for American consumers," he said flatly.  "I'm more of a free trade kind of Republican that remembers how many jobs are created by the exports that we engage in."  And that we don't charge China "billions of dollars" in taxes.  We just don't.  It's stupid.

We're all a little hurt here in Savannah because Trump took to his rickety social media platform last night to write, "A great day in Louisiana!"  The accents aren't even similar, and we noticed that he played the Johnny Mercer Theater (capacity 2,565), while Harris filled the Enmarket Arena (9,500) last month.  Also, people are curious about this war we're in.  "Biden and Kamala got us into this war in Ukraine and now they can't get us out...We're stuck in that war unless I'm president.  I'll get us out...Biden says 'We will not leave until we win.'  What happens if they win?  That's what they do.  As somebody told me the other day, they beat Hitler, they beat Napoleon."  

I'm glad he finally got the news about the Second World War.  Extra credit for Napoleon.  Now, who won the Russo-Japanese war of 1905?  Trump is so dazzled by Putin's propaganda, he should be looking at beach property in Vladivostok.  

But Your Favorite President (HIM) has a lot on his plate.  For example, late night television is yet another thing that has gone to hell under Joe Biden.  In a rare moment of clarity during the Pennsylvania rally on Monday he remarked, "I don't like anybody that doesn't like me.  OK?  Sounds childish...that's the way it is.  Call it a personality defect."  Most people are like that but they don't go on and on about it.  OK?  He singled out Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel:  "These three guys are so bad.  When I first ran I went on The Tonight Show, which is dying.  They're all dying.  Where is Johnny Carson?  Bring back Johnny."  Not dying but actually dead, grandpa.  Maybe you're thinking of Jay Leno?  Jack Paar?  Put on your jammies and I'll get Stephen Miller to tell you a bedtime story.

It's probably better if Trump doesn't watch TV before sleepy-time, because his bizarre promises to "protect women" and make them safe and happy will soon be met by a response from Anti-Psychopath PAC, George Conway's effort to compensate America for his ex-wife Kellyanne.  In the first two, journalist Natasha Stoynoff and former businesswoman Jessica Leeds describe in detail how Trump groped and assaulted them.  "He's a serial predator," says Leeds.  And he's weird.