The story so far

 Day One of the DNC was an embarrassment of riches.  They have so many dynamic people capable of setting a crowd ablaze that there wasn't enough time, and it was midnight in the east when the star of the show finished his farewell address.  Not quite as bad as 1972, when George McGovern secured the nomination at two in the morning, but the show needed cutting before opening night.

Some things you may have missed:

The Guardian devoted a long article to the significance of Kamala Harris's tan suit.  Or was it camel?  Was it a reference to the notorious tan suit worn by President Obama (and instantly banished to the back of the presidential closet) in 2014 to talk about Islamic State in Syria?  "I don't think any of us can excuse what the president did yesterday.  I mean, you have the world watching," thundered Rep. Peter King.  "Shocking to a lot of people," slurred Lou Dobbs.

Women have more leeway in what they wear, of course, though I won't be surprised if Fox News runs out of trivia and starts attacking her for always wearing pants.  Is there something wrong with her legs?  But part of me hopes Obama pulls out the tan suit for his speech tonight.

If Mike Lindell did manage to infiltrate the enemy's camp in a Groucho disguise, he was completely successful.  But Charlie Kirk slipped past the sentries only to be spotted by Parker Short of Young Democrats of Georgia, who correctly identified him as "an anti-patriotic, anti-Constitutional person crashing our party."  The sly Kirk riposted, "I've got one question:  What is a woman?"  Said Short, "That is so fucking weird, y'all.  Maybe you should meet one."  MSNBC, hire this kid.

Kirk was very disturbed to see Doug Emhoff hugging his daughter Ella, tweeting this picture with the comment "Totally not weird."

This is how a real father hugs his daughter:

Mike Davis -- not the author of the great City of Quartz or the running back or any of the others, the Mike Davis poised to become Trump's attorney general, the one who wants to put his enemies in a gulag -- Mike Davis is very unhappy about the way people are disrespecting his future boss.   So he tweeted:  "Dear Media and Other Democrat Operatives:  Fair Warning:  Calling Trump a 'convicted felon' is defamatory.  You may get sued."  Twelve New York County jurors and I disagree.  As does Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who observed last night, "Kamala Harris has a resume.  Trump has a rap sheet."  Not to mention the conventioneers who punctuated Hillary Clinton's reference to the trial with a satisfying "LOCK HIM UP!"  Really, these folks are as chant-disciplined as English football fans.

What about the huge protests promised by supporters of a Gaza cease-fire?  Here's the salient sentence from paragraph four of the AP story:  "'Police de-escalated the situation [protesters throwing water bottles mostly] without using their batons or chemicals,' [Police Superintendent Larry Snelling] said."  How disappointing.  A lot fewer than the expected 20,000 showed up and nobody went to the hospital.  The Washington Post reports thirteen arrests, which sounds like an ordinary weekday in downtown Chicago.

Some disturbance inside the hall, according to Mediaite:  Several people lifted a "Stop funding genocide" banner during Joe Biden's speech, and a woman was slapped with a "We Love Joe" sign.  Many calls for the person who hit her to be arrested.  The footage isn't very dramatic or they'd be analyzing it like the Zapruder film.  Better luck tonight.  

With attention focused on Chicago, three House committees sheepishly released their reports on the interminable Biden investigations, saying that he "engaged in impeachable conduct" but not actually recommending impeachment.  Taxpayers should demand an accounting of the millions of dollars and thousands of staff hours wasted on this boondoggle.  Undaunted, James Comer is preparing to unleash his Comettes on a noisy and prolonged investigation of whether Tim Walz is a Chinese communist spy.  The first, devastating piece of evidence:  He and Gwen got married on the anniversary of Tiananmen Square.  I think we can stop right there.  Tiananmen Tim!  

Hold onto your red hats:  Newsmax is trying to promote the rumor that Kamala Harris "got into the sherry."  This is why they're eclipsing Fox News as the go-to network for what Mencken used to call "flapdoodle."  

Today's Washington Post headline:  "The Obamas seek to inject a sense of hope in Harris campaign."  As opposed to all the anger and despair of last night?  Was Dan Balz at a different convention?

Craig Brown's biography of Elizabeth II, A Voyage Around the Queen, is being serialized in the Daily Mail, which doesn't speak well of its reliability.  But the Guardian was good enough to share a few remarks she allegedly made about Trump and they're not going to cheer him up.  Brown says she found him "very rude" and particularly disliked the way he "couldn't stop looking over her shoulder, as though in search of others more interesting."  Even when they were alone at tea?  He also walked in front of her while inspecting troops, but we all saw that.  The second and last time he visited, she made a point of wearing a brooch given to her by the Obamas, but that was too subtle for him.

Asked how he's preparing for the debate, J.D. Vance replied, "I have a friend who embellishes and lies a lot.  I'm having him stand in for Tim Walz."  For some reason, people assumed the mendacious friend was Donald Trump.  Jim, Jack, whatever your name is, don't ad lib.  Are you sure you wrote that book?  Words are not your friends.  And who gave this hairball an $8 million advance for Hillbilly Elegy 2:  Electric Boogaloo?  HarperCollins?  Remind me to cull my library.