Fake check!
On September 13, 2011, Donald J. Trump of 725 Fifth Avenue sent $5,000 to RE-ELECT ATTORNEY GENERAL KAMALA D. HARRIS 2014. Even if he was still a registered Democrat then, why the interest in a California election? Sean Hannity should ask him.
The MAGA quarter of Blogenheim is buzzing with Nefarious Plots and Dark Conspiracies today. Trump-supporting rich guy Bill Ackman seems to be urging China to invade Taiwan because it's clear that Biden is dead or incapacitated or at least being held hostage. He, Bill Ackman, does not recognize Biden's signature on the letter posted yesterday. No one is in charge! Where's the photo op, the press conference with some Fox clown shouting questions, the Marine Band? Why won't they answer the questions of Bill Ackman? He's really rich and important.
Check out this appalled Xweet from Erick Erickson:
He's going to be so mad when Biden re-appears at the White House, not even a little pavement-bruised. Wait, it gets shriller: "I demand proof of life from Joe Biden today by 5:00pm," writes Lauren Boebert, who is now in charge of demanding things. "Hiding is completely unacceptable." Isolating, Rep. Tosser, it's called isolating. Thoughtful people do it so others are not exposed to the extremely contagious coronavirus. You wouldn't know about basic good manners.
Somebody called Bill Mitchell has an elaborate theory about "Ukraine bucks" being laundered through the DNC in the guise of all those grassroots donations. He also calls them "Zelensky cash" because the Ukrainian president is the obvious link to the globalist money which controls the world. Don't worry, it's coming:
And before you can say "Elders of Zion," the circle is complete. Now for the country Trump wants to see running Ukraine.
Russian TV's Sixty Minutes (is there nothing they don't steal from decadent Americans?) was in deep mourning, with some Duma member lamenting that Biden's withdrawal leaves Trump "without any trump cards!" (I don't know if the pun works in Russian.) He went on to describe Kamala Harris as "distilled evil," which sounds like an endorsement. The rest of the gang lamented that civil war has yet to break out here, which is debatable, and said of Biden, "This administration failed at everything! Name one project where they've succeeded. They couldn't even kill or imprison Trump." Yes, the mark of a successful regime. I guess Dmitri Drobnitsky hasn't heard about "presidential immunity." It could still happen. If Judge Merchan doesn't impose a custodial sentence...
Now where did they put that gallows? Mike Pence is probably in hiding because he thanked Biden for "putting the interests of our Nation ahead of his own." "Judas" was the nicest thing he was called. Meanwhile J.D. Vance was asserting to Jesse Watters, "If Joe Biden can't run for president, he can't serve as president." Jim Don's knowledge of American history is surpassed only by his understanding of Appalachia. Calvin Coolidge declined to run for a second term and so did Lyndon Johnson, but they served out their first terms. If Jim Don keeps grasping at straws he's going to ruin his manicure.
Funny: Mike Johnson is an unlikely proponent of democracy, by which he means the Democrats who chose Biden in the primaries. To safeguard our rights -- I was one -- he promises the Republican Party will sue to force Biden back into the race. Thanks, Mike. If your motives were any more pure, they would float.
Funnier: Trump's presumptive Secretary of Public Enlightenment and Propaganda, Stephen Miller, has also discovered that the primary is sacred. "People -- they had ballots! They filled out circles! They went to the voting booths! They can't do this to us!" I think he said he wants total war, shortest war, but it was hard to understand once he began frothing. Personally I mailed my ballot but Kamala is fine with me, Steph. Even if she has no biological children, the deal-breaker for some twerp named Will Chamberlain. You know who else had no biological children? Martha and George Washington.
Funniest: Joe Manchin went on one of the Sunday chat shows to announce that he will not be a candidate for president. Well, who asked him to?
As for Trump, he's not worried at all. He just wants the September debate to take place on Fox News instead of ABC, which he calls "very biased." Who would fact-check him, Gutfeld!? He couldn't do any worse than CNN. He also told a "crowd" in Grand Rapids that he will take Kim Jong-un* to a Yankees game to get him to "relax" and stop obsessing about nuclear weapons. That should finally win him the Nobel Peace Prize he covets almost as much as an Emmy.
Bonus funny: After conferring with Biff the Brainworm, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., approached the Trump campaign about swapping an endorsement for a job overseeing health and medical issues. They passed.
*Mediaite, if you're listening, Kim is his surname, not Jong-un. Remember how his father was named Kim Jong-il? That's how Korean names work.
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