Appearances from afar

 While calls were heard to defund the police, the FBI, the Justice Department and the post office, the federal government has been defunding firefighters, perhaps the only part of the public sector that everyone wholeheartedly admires.  From the Guardian:

"Priced out of local rentals or deployed to remote duty locations, many [federal firefighters] are forced to choose between overcrowded, substandard government barracks, or spending the season living outside in their tents or trucks...a recent survey by the organization FiredUp! found that 86 percent of respondents have lived in their cars, crashed on couches or stayed in campgrounds while they fight fire due to lack of available housing or financial constraints."  Fire season gets longer every year, and some firefighters live on $15 an hour.  "Funds that should go toward updating firefighting housing units...are often spent on roads and recreational facilities instead."  The "deferred maintenance backlog" is estimated at $8.6 billion.

This seems like one of those rare problems that can be solved by throwing money at it.  "A member of an elite helicopter unit in Arizona...told the Guardian he had to rely on food stamps to stay afloat."  That doesn't surprise me.  On Veterans Day and Memorial Day we love the troops, but there's a SNAP (Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Program) office on every military base, too.  And there's the social shame attached -- anyone paying for groceries with a SNAP card is assumed to be "on welfare."  Now that a British paper has broken the story, let's see how long it takes for the outrage.  John Oliver might get there first.

Everyone has problems.  "Preparations are being made at both Mar a Lago...and in Milwaukee...should Trump either choose to make appearances from afar or be unable to attend," according to NBC News.  Like if he has a cold, or an ankle monitor.  But how is the satellite link-up at Rikers Island?  (Well, I can dream.)  

The dog returns to his vomit, says the peculiar old saying, and today Trump returned to the site of his coup attempt.  In a meeting with House Republicans he reportedly called Milwaukee a "horrible city," so maybe he will stay away.  Democrats from the White House to Governor Evers to Senator Tammy Baldwin were quick to defend the city, and Rep. Gwen Moore had the best response:  "Once he's settled in with his parole officer I am certain he will discover that Milwaukee is a wonderful, vibrant and welcoming city full of diverse neighborhoods and a vibrant business community."  According to his sycophants, it's those diverse neighborhoods the Chosen One dislikes.  Derrick Van Orden (R-Abusivedrunk) claims he was "specifically referring to the crime."  A felon complaining about crime?

Speaking of crime, apparently Robert Kennedy Jr. is still running for president and confessed to a rally in 2022 that he tried to get fake vaccine cards for his children in college so they wouldn't be turned into 5G zombies by the Fauci conspiracy.  He said they "wanted to act like moral human beings" and refused.  Maybe there's hope for the next batch of Kennedys.  Yes, falsifying medical records is a felony.  Anyone else?  Does Jill Stein have an expired drivers license?  Does Chase Oliver owe back child support?  This is the election the Founders could not anticipate, or the Constitution would have a "no criminals" clause.

"I'll lose the debate on purpose."  The how-do-I-get-out-of-this campaign rolls on, and Trump certainly seems obsessed with something he demanded and is guaranteed to ace.  Get this:  He'll throw the first one just to keep poor, demented Joe Biden from quitting the Democratic ticket.  "They're going to feed him a lot of stuff and we should do a drug test."  "If he makes it through, no matter what, how bad, no matter how bad he is, they'll say he's great," went another classically constructed sentence.  This is called lowering expectations.  Next:  The debate was rigged and I won anyway.  

The cast of extras wasn't called to the Hill just to hear Trump trash Milwaukee, however.  Witnesses described another incoherent campaign rally with weird asides about Alexandra Pelosi* and enforced singing of "Happy Birthday" (the elderly grandfather turns 78 tomorrow).  He also lied about winning Virginia, congratulated Steve Scalise for having a wife who cared enough to come to the hospital when he was shot, and assured them his mere presence in office would have prevented the October 7 attack on Israel, the Russian invasion of Ukraine, and probably 9/11.  They were so attentive that he rewarded them with his Hannibal Lecter joke about having a friend for dinner, which I first heard about Jeffrey Dahmer in 1991.  And so on.  At least some intern at Newsmax won't have to spend all day editing this verbal diarrhea into something broadcastable.  (The awful Chip Roy was watching golf on his iPad, and even I felt a twinge of sympathy.)

Did Taylor Swift come up?  You know it.  She's a frequent topic as the darkness of complete mental collapse looms.  The book Apprentice in Wonderland:  How Donald Trump and Mark Burnett Took America Through the Looking Glass details his long obsession with the singer.  "I find her beautiful, very beautiful.  She probably doesn't like Trump.  I hear she's very talented."  But he can't believe she might endorse "this dope" (Biden), or that she is really liberal.  "It's not an act?  It surprises me that a country star can be successful being a liberal."  He's never heard of Willie Nelson or Dolly Parton, or the fact that Swift's last country album came out like ten years ago.  He has also forgotten that he called her "disloyal" for criticizing him after he somehow made a lot of money for her.  Trump has a history of slobbering over unattainable women he seems to think are desperate for his attention -- he claims he sent flowers to Princess Diana every day after her divorce, which explains why she spent so much time bent over the toilet.  I hope Swift doesn't have nightmares about the flatulent orange goblin.  

You know how I hate good news, but there might be some at last.  Alex Jones has abandoned his bankruptcy filing and agreed to pay the $1.5 billion the Sandy Hook families were awarded three years ago.  I'll believe it when they cash the checks, but for now congratulations to their attorneys Mark Bankston, Jr., and Chris Mattei.  Survivors of the massacre graduated from Newtown High School this week and it's clear the pain will always follow them.

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*At least I assume he meant the documentary filmmaker.  The Pelosis have four daughters and Trump only knows this one as "wacko."