After the Fox
Trump and his cult have had an edgy relationship with Fox News since the network was first to call Arizona for Joe Biden in November 2020. They recognize that its ratings surpass those of upstarts like Newsmax and One America (if that's even still around), but they also worry that its occasional embrace of facts is not useful to them.
In a typically schizoid response this morning, Trump praised his faithful handmaiden Maria Bartiromo for an interview where Rep. Keith Self (R-TX) was invited to repeat the immigrants=criminality slander ("Keith really knows his 'stuff,' " he purred). But Fox also reported a poll that showed Biden ahead for the first time and this brought on the customary explosion. The problem isn't the poll, it seems, but the presence of Paul Ryan on the Fox Board of Directors. Why Ryan? You can't fire everyone who responded to a poll. Always Be Blaming Someone.
This afternoon he was still raving: "Rupert and Lachlan, get that dog off your Board -- You don't need him. ALL YOU NEED IS TRUMP. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!" "Fox News polls have never treated me, or MAGA, fairly." (Does he think MAGA is an entity?) "I am leading BIG in virtually every other poll," and so on. "The #1 issue in this Country is not protecting democracy. It is INFLATION and IMMIGRATION!" And a ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to...amongst our issues...oooh!
And the chorus echoed, "They have Joe Biden winning rural voters 50-48 over Trump. There is no way that's possible. Zero." (Charlie Kirk) "100% correct!! This Fox News poll is WRONG!" (Butch-Body Greene) One poll and they pop like balloons. At least wait until Biden uses Trump as a toilet brush in Atlanta next Monday.
Addicted as he is to television, it's taken Trump a while to notice that Jimmy Fallon has a show -- usually he's complaining about Seth Meyers and Jimmy Kimmel. (Stephen Colbert needs to pick up the pace.) Apparently Fallon mentioned Trump's inability to remember names because he got his very own TRUTHSOCIAL denunciation: "Can anyone imagine being critiqued by ratings starved Jimmy Fallon, the bumbling/stumbling host(ess!) that single handidly [sic] reduced the Tonight Show to ashes." Be sure to forward this to the Log Cabin Republicans. ("HAPPY PRIDE MONTH to the perverts and weirdos who are making our once great Country the laughingstock...") Like racism, homophobia tends to escape its host in unguarded moments.
Trump has yet to comment on Fallon's disparaging words about two of his favorites, Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-un. The Russian war criminal dropped in on the North Korean dictator to sign MOST STRONGEST MIGHTIEST PACT OF ALL TIME* and according to Fallon, "They got a text from Trump that said 'Throuple?'" What a time to be out of office, when the autocrats are partying like it's 1939.
Lock them up! Robert Kennedy and Biff are angry about being excluded from Monday's debate. In fact, they say it's illegal! and everyone at CNN could go to jail! First they stole Uncle Jack's 1960 ad, now they think they control's Dad's Justice Department. Try getting on a few more ballots before you whine like a Republican. Rules are rules.
Wherever Trump chooses to stay during the convention, he assured people in Racine that he likes Lake Michigan. Why? NO SHARKS! Maybe that Florida guy should forget about the coastal waters renaming and introduce a bill to name the Great Lakes Donald, Eric, Ivanka, Tiffany and Barron. Would that please the Chosen One?
On the lighter side, we turn to Vermont and two feuding state legislators. Rep. Mary Morrissey (R) had to apologize to Rep. Jim Carroll (D) after she was caught on video pouring water into his tote bag. For four months. Could she be a long-shot running mate for you know who?
*It's working already. South Korea says it will consider sending arms to Ukraine.
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