Take this impeachment and shove it

 On Friday White House counsel Ed Siskel sent a "cut the crap" letter to Mike Johnson, pointing out that six months of hearings, retracted testimony, disgraced witnesses and barely concealed threats had resulted in precisely bupkis regarding the impeachment of President Biden.  Siskel called on James Comer and his Comettes to "work with the President on our economy, national security and other important priorities" rather than waste more time on what departing Rep. Ken Buck called making impeachment "a social media issue as opposed to a constitutional concept."  Chastened, Comer agreed to cancel further hearings and act like an elected representative.  Sure he did.

  These fools don't give a shit about anything but keeping Agolf Twitler off their backs.  "The White House does not get to decide how impeachment gets resolved, that is for Congress to decide," retorted Johnson's man Raj Shah.  Congress and Trump, he meant, because none of this would be happening if the Laird of Lago de Merde weren't threatening them with hurtful nicknames and mob violence.  They believe they can appease him by making a big pile of all the nothing they have so far accumulated and sending it as a criminal referral to the Justice Department.  You never know, Merrick Garland might decide to hand it to one of the Trump fifth-columnists still lurking in the DoJ, like Weiss and Hur.  They also threaten to pass "influence-peddling legislation," a few years late to keep Jared Kushner from peddling a couple billion dollars' worth of influence but better late than never.

It's not as if this Congress hasn't accomplished anything in fifteen months.  They've had more Speaker votes than most people have owned cars.  They managed after considerable effort to expel one criminally indicted serial liar.  They established beyond all doubt that Hunter Biden is circumcised.  Not to mention the underfunded Ukrainians they condemned to death.  Quite a record considering that the Freedom Caucus can't stand the MAGAts.  If you're history-minded, it's a little like the 1932 Reichstag, where the Communists refused to cooperate with the Socialists, paving the way for the Nazis.  Only this time the right is in disarray and the Democrats will benefit.  Two more resignations and Hakeem Jeffries will be the third Speaker in two years.  What a time to be alive.

As for the Laird, he's all recovered from the Sundown Serenade he performed in Ohio.  Proving he doesn't know when to shut up or stop nursing a grievance, he went after Jimmy Kimmel again.  I'm not sure this will have the staying power of the Slap (Will Smith's hand, Chris Rock's face), but it's been a week already.  He hardly had time to demand the arrest of "the Unselect Committee" because a Secret Service agent's testimony contradicts Cassidy Hutchinson's regarding his unhinged behavior in the car on January 6.  Wait until he hears that Mike Pence finds it "unacceptable" to call the rioters "hostages."  

The Vandalia show was disturbing, but not as bad as Trump's response when asked if he would invite Kim Jong-un to the White House:  "I think it's something that could happen.  Hey, he's the head of a country and I mean, he's the strong head, don't let anyone think anything different.  He speaks and his people sit up at attention.  I want my people to do the same."  Strong.  The magic word of weaklings.

There are so many Trumpanzees insisting that the word "bloodbath" does not mean what you think it means that Trump has joined in:  "Fake News Media...pretended to be shocked...Crooked Joe Biden..." the usual.  He probably doesn't even remember using the word.  Among the Yes Sir chorus, not surprisingly, Elon Mush:  "Over time the newspapers have been fading away in relevance."  Mush was implicated in a separate outrage when the Dwight D. Opperman Foundation (chaired by a major Republican donor) decided to shit all over the legacy of Ruth Bader Ginsburg by presenting its RBG Awards to -- hold on, this is bad -- Mush, Rupert Murdoch, Michael Milken, Martha Stewart and Sylvester Stallone.  Two fascists, a Wall Street crook, a superannuated "actor" and Stewart, who should hand it back.  The Ginsburg family is furious.  At least call it the Newton Leroy Gingrich Prize for Advanced Assholery.

Kristi Noem was criticized and also sued for her infomercial promoting the Texas cosmetic dentistry company that redecorated her mouth.  She responded with another infomercial for Fit My Feet, a South Dakota company that made her custom insoles, as if the problem was the location and not the shilling.  Does South Dakota not pay its elected officials?

Say hello to pardoned ex-con Paul Manafort, Kremlin go-between and 2016 campaign manager.  Trump is putting the band back together.  Manafort is expected to work on fundraising, and he should get started as soon as possible:  Trump's lawyers can't find anyone to underwrite the $450 million bond needed to appeal the business fraud verdict.  That means AG Letitia James can start seizing his properties to satisfy the judgment.  I can't wait for one of those GOING OUT OF BUSINESS signs that Fifth Avenue rug stores have displayed for decades to be plastered over Formerly Trump Tower. 

After a campaign marked by disqualification and death, Putin has won another term as president of the Russian Empire.  In occupied Ukraine, election officials got out the vote by going house to house accompanied by armed troops.  The UN denounced this violation of international law.  Thanks, UN.  You may now resume talking and talking and talking...