This just in

 Joe Biden, whose unpopularity is stressed by every political expert every time the camera is turned on, easily defeated 21 contenders to win the New Hampshire Democratic primary, despite not being on the ballot.  He got 55.8 percent of the votes, all write-ins.  Vermin Supreme got 729 votes, but that's just name recognition.

Johnny Marr of The Smiths became the latest musician to recoil in horror when one of his songs was played at a Trump rally.  Upon hearing "Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want" Marr said, "Consider this shit shut right down right now," which is an excellent title for his next song.

Trump got what he wanted and celebrated with a series of snarling tweets in which he repeatedly called Nikki Haley "BIRDBRAIN!" and (amusingly) "DELUSIONAL!!" and the mysterious "WE JUST WON NEVADA!!!"  Maybe a better rally song would be "They're Coming To Take Me Away."

Thousands of people filled the streets of Buenos Aires to protest their freshly inaugurated president Javier "El Loco" Milei's far-right agenda, which has already seen the abolition of the government departments of education, the environment and women; an increase in privatization and presidential power; the scaling back of workers' rights and the right to protest; and the devaluation of the peso by more than 50 percent.  An admiring Nigel Farage calls it "Thatcherism on steroids."  Speaking of which, he campaigned on a promise of a second war for the Falklands/Malvinas and an end to abortion and LGBTQ rights.  Turns out getting advice from his dead dog is the least of it.


If Trump is done seething with victory he might pay attention to the experience of one of his January 6 Proud Boys, Marc Bru.  Bru got six years' privilege taken away from him after calling Judge James Boasberg a "fraud" and a "clown."  In New York, where the Carroll trial remained in recess, Judge Lewis Kaplan may be contemplating a similar fate for Alina Habba.  Trump's lawyer requested the delay because she said she felt unwell but was later spotted at a victory party in New Hampshire.  Judges don't like to be insulted or lied to.

Down in the Republic of Texas the US Border Patrol keeps cutting through the razor wire installed to discourage -- let's be honest, to kill -- migrants who cross the Rio Grande, and the Texas National Guard keeps putting it back.  The US Supreme Court ruled that the Border Patrol can take it down but the response from Texas echoes Stalin:  How many divisions has the Court?  The logical next step is for the President to end this malarkey by nationalizing the Guard, as his predecessors did when other southern governors defied them during the civil rights era.  Or send the 101st Airborne, whatever.  Ken "Corruption" Paxton says he "look[s] forward to defending our state's sovereignty."  Greg "Paresis" Abbott says, "I like oatmeal, flarn, flarn."

Brown, Columbia, Yale and other eminent universities will pay $62 million to settle a class-action suit accusing them of favoring wealthy applicants.  Fortunately, they can afford it.  I just hope the food service workers and security guards weren't expecting a cost-of-living adjustment this year.


Trump decided to share this with his followers.  I don't know which I like better, the flames or the extra leg.



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