Hopscotch and bath salts

 Remember the cocaine that was discovered last summer near the White House entrance used by visiting tourists?  You don't?  It was mentioned every ten minutes or so for weeks, investigated by the FBI, the Secret Service and possibly the Space Command, who concluded that they could not determine how the bag (less than a gram) got there.  (Hunter Biden!  Had to be Hunter Biden dumping his stash!)

On Tuesday night Trump paused his verbal assault on Nikki Haley long enough to slander Governor Chris Sununu, who had endorsed her:  "This guy, he's gotta be on something.  I've never seen anybody with energy.  He's like hopscotch."  As always it was impossible to decipher his authentic Queens gibberish.  Nobody seems to be familiar with the term "hopscotch," but given Trump's history of Adderall abuse (allegedly!) he could probably recognize someone who is "on something," though Sununu is not known for constant sniffing.  

The story took a bizarre but unsurprising turn today with the publication of a report by the inspector general of the Defense Department prompted by complaints from 2018 about the White House pharmacy.  (The W.H. Military Office runs the pharmacy and medical unit.)  Among its findings:  People could help themselves from open bins of over-the-counter drugs; medications like Provigil (a stimulant) and Ambien (a sedative) were dispensed without verifying identity; a staffer was asked to "hook up" someone with a controlled substance as a "parting gift for leaving the White House"; and at least $640,000 was spent over three years, as a far a poor record-keeping indicates.  Allegations about this kind of thing led to Ronny Jackson failing to become Secretary of Veterans Affairs, but one Texas district was happy to send "the Candyman" to Congress.  (The former Navy doctor who assured us that Trump was a combination of Schwarzenegger and Jackie Chan was WH physician from 2013 to 2018.  Somewhere in there he found time to come on to a female subordinate on a trip to Manila.  Last summer he got into a drunken altercation with police at a Texas rodeo.)

The report goes on to state that the prescriber (or whoever) always insisted on name-brand drugs rather than the generics mandated by regulations, to the tune of $144,500 just for the Ambien and Provigil.  Your tax dollars at work:  uppers, downers and Melania's new "kidneys."

But Republicans aren't just partying like it's Hunter S. Thompson's birthday -- they're establishing new frontiers of racism.  A series of troubling mishaps has plagued Boeing planes and they know why.  The culprit is DEI (Diversity, Equity and Inclusion), the monster that displaced "woke."  Unqualified people are being hired on the basis of race or gender and they just can't do a white man's job.  Elon Musk, who in his spare time runs Tesla (the car that burns up, among other hiccups) asks, "Do you want to fly in an airplane where they prioritized DEI hiring over safety?" although there is no evidence that anyone is doing this.  Another safety expert, Charlie Kirk, observed, "If I see a Black pilot I'm going to be like 'Boy, I hope he's qualified.'"  If it's a Black woman I guess he'll grab the next flight on Aryan Air. 

The House Select (Bennie Thompson) Committee vanished with the last Congress, but Trumpanzees who defied its subpoenas are finally getting some attention from the courts.  Peter Navarro, one of Trump's TV economists, received four months and a fine.  He also got a talking-to from Judge Amit Mehta that Trump should heed:  "You are not a victim.  You are not the object of a political prosecution, you aren't.  You have received every process you are due."  Good one, justice system, now do Bannon!

One by one, all the Congressbeings who ran for their lives on January 6 or proclaimed themselves through with Trump are falling into line.  The most amusing might be Nancy Mace, already renowned for requiring staff to get her on TV every single day.  As the insurrectionists charged in, Mace considered getting herself punched so she could become the face of Never-Trumpism.  That's taking one for the team, even if the team has been disbanded.  Anyway, now she loves him more than Tim Scott, if that's possible. 

                                                  Nancy leading the people.

We have a border deal!  Uh, no, wait, we don't.  The bipartisan agreement that would have included funding for Ukraine was cancelled because Trump doesn't want it.  I guess he doesn't "love Our Country" as much as he hates Biden and Ukraine.  The world looks at us and shakes its head.