So badly
Maybe it's just not seeing the sun for a week, but I feel like I'm roaming through a Cormac McCarthy novel. Even the good news is full of bad news. Remember Glynn Simmons, who spent 48 years in prison for a murder he didn't do? Oklahoma turned him loose because he has Stage Four colon cancer. It's really a cost-cutting measure -- if he dies soon they won't have to pay him compensation of $175,000. Also, they don't need to house and feed him in the meantime. You're welcome, taxpayers.
Alexei Navalny turned up in an Arctic prison because he wasn't dying fast enough from natural causes in Vladimir. He survived Novichok and the gulag -- if Russian doctors were smart they'd want to study him while he's still alive.
Recep Erdogan has hurt Benjamin Netanyahu's feelings by comparing him to Adolf Hitler. Erdogan being Erdogan, it's hard to tell if he meant this in a negative sense.
Not to worry, though -- Jared and Ivanka are on their way to meet the families of hostages and "political leaders." Like the families haven't suffered enough.
I turned on CNN and there was a commercial insisting that Americans continue to support Israel. Is this the best use of our taxes?
Ukraine made good use of the holiday, hitting a Russian ship and downing three fighter jets. I immediately thought of the Continental Army surprising the Hessians in Trenton in 1776 while they were drunk and filled with Heimweh for Hesse.
I don't think Nikki Haley has a shot at the presidency but she might consider a career as a mime. Doesn't she know how Merle Oberon damaged her skin with whitening cream?
What is the difference between fighting Iran and fighting militias armed by Iran? Just when we begin to disengage militarily from the Middle East, they pull us back in.
Tom Smothers is dead. It's said that Nixon ordered CBS to cancel his show, which I find completely credible.
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