None to give

 

The most impressive feat in podcasting is Olbermann limiting himself to three Worst Persons in the World four times a week.  Every day I have at least half a dozen.

Let's start with a relatively light-hearted case, Michael Green and Byron Bolden of the fair state of Colorado.  These two think they should receive a lesser sentence because the items they stole from a Kohl's store in Parker were on sale, lowering their value below the legal limit for a felony.  I'm happy to leave it to the appeals court.

Patrick Johnson was a firefighter and environmentalist in Shreveport who campaigned against the use of "burn pits" spewing carcinogens into the air at Camp Minden.  He tried to get his son, just elected to the Louisiana state legislature, to use his platform and influence to end this practice, but the son had no interest in such matters; in fact, he was and is a climate change denier.  When he became Speaker of the House in 2023 his first speech was a tribute to his father, but Mike "Moses" Johnson still doesn't give a damn what the people in his district -- or anywhere else in the US -- are exposed to.

It seems certain that after there is nothing in Gaza left to destroy, Israel will hold a general election.  How do we know?  Benjamin Netanyahu is already campaigning.  He told the Knesset's foreign affairs and defense committee that the October 7 Hamas attacks caused the same number of Israeli deaths as the 1993 Oslo accords.  When over a hundred Israeli hostages remain in the hands of Hamas, and many Israelis blame him for catastrophic failure to heed intelligence about the coming attack, this deserves its own chapter in the History of Chutzpah.

Repeated dry cleanings failed to remove the smell of the Fulton County Jail from the suit Trump wore to his arrest/indictment last August.  Maybe his diaper leaked.  In any case, suckers who purchase 47 digital "trading cards" for $4,699.53 will receive a scrap of suit (or of his trademark crotch-tickler necktie), modestly described as "the most historically significant artifact in United States history."  I'll bet the Smithsonian is pissed.

It's too early to nominate Steve Doocy for an Izzy -- that's the I.F. Stone medal for journalistic independence -- but he did a grand job of getting under the soft pink skin of James Comer.  The porcine chair of the House Oversight Committee says he won't appear on "Fox & Friends" because even Doocy can't take seriously his slapstick attempt to make an informal car loan between father and son into an impeachable offense.  

"Sad fact; 'Religious Freedom' in this country now means Muslims are free to do as they please and anyone who says anything about it is a bigot," tweeted Mark Robinson in 2016.  Now that Elise Stefanik has purged antisemitism from Ivy League universities, perhaps she will turn her attention to the Islamophobia of the Republican candidate for governor of North Carolina.  Would it help if I cited his claim that the Rothschild family "rule every single central bank"?  How about "There is a REASON the liberal media fills the airwaves with programs about the NAZI [sic] and the '6 million Jews' they murdered"?  

Give it up for the Supremes!  New York has to re-draw its electoral map but Texas is fine.  I can't understand why SCOTUS's approval rating is lower than botulism's.

"I'm not done with public service.  I want to go back to Congress," George Santos told a radio interviewer.  "I will continue to expose and root out the rot in our federal government."  Go ahead, Seth Meyers's writers, top that.

Russia is demanding that Hamas release all hostages.  It looks like V.V. Putin is going for next year's Nobel Peace Prize.  Probably inspired by a Kissinger obituary in Izvestia.