Let G_d sort it out

 Does Benjamin Netanyahu wake up every morning thinking, "How can I make more people hate me and my country?"  The two-month pulverization of Gaza and killing of more than 18,000 people is hard to top but the attack on Holy Family Church and sniper killing of two women might do it.  Israeli rockets also hit the Convent of the Sisters of Mother Teresa where 54 disabled people live.  The pope called it "terrorism," apparently unaware that Israel is never guilty of that.  Christmas celebrations in Bethlehem are already cancelled.


Baby Jesus wrapped in a keffiyeh?  The Evangelical Lutherans are clearly the real terrorists.

Maybe I don't pay enough attention to the rightwing rage-o-sphere but I'm not hearing much about their War on Christmas.  Apart from the horror of Marxist tap dancers in the White House, has this year even produced a fresh Outrage?  Why yes, it has, but not from our side of No Man's Land.  Meet Santos Claus, that jolly old pelf who used to be an actual US legislator.  "If you're looking for a sassy, awesome Christmas message from yours truly, make sure you don't miss out."  A mere $500, limited time only.  

Maybe you don't have $500 to spend this year because you work for Amazon (average wage $20.50 an hour, profits in the last quarter $143 billion).  Meet Peccy.


Peccy is the Amazon mascot ("he represents Amazon's peculiar ways").  Peccy presides over the company's Hunger Games.  (A better name might be "peckish.") "Write a letter to Peccy.  If the Peccy team selects you, some of your holiday wishes could come true," says a flier from the Amazon warehouse in Rock Tavern, New York.  Unless you make Peccy cry by trying to organize one of those no-good, very-bad unions.  Then you get fired for Christmas!  But wherever you end up, you probably won't need to come to work in a diaper because Peccy doesn't allow bathroom breaks.

Alexei Navalny got an early Christmas present.  Russian courts have ended new criminal proceedings against him because nobody can find him.  His lawyers haven't seen him in two weeks and the UN is calling it a "forced disappearance," whatever that means.  He was last seen in a gulag "special regime" prison in the Vladimir region where the sub-par diet and sanitary conditions affected his health.  Where could he be?  It's a conundrum, all right.

It seems that Alex Jones's days will be merry and bright.  Shortly after a jury ordered him to pay Sandy Hook families $1.5 billion he declared bankruptcy, but then he searched through some old pants and found $55 million.  He is willing to pay this out over ten years.  A better plan would be for them to seize Infowhores and revamp its format (gun control plus reruns of Frank's Place) but they're probably tired of the whole business by now.










  

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