A noun, a verb and get dressed

 Nothing is going to rival Rudolph Giuliani's entrance this morning.  Somewhere between the limo and the courtroom at the A. Barrett Prettyman Courthouse he opened his belt and left it dangling until his lawyer made him get dressed in the elevator.  Details are sketchy but I'm imagining an encounter with one of those bored security officers:  "Empty your pockets."  "Do you know who I am?  I saved New York from terrorists!"  "Please empty your pockets."  "Oh, you think I'm a terrorist?  Should I take off my shoes?  Maybe you'd like it if I drop my pants!"  "Sir, you're holding up the line."  "I'm taking off my pants!  OK?  Look, no bombs!"  "Please put your clothes back on and empty your pockets."  "I want to talk to your supervisor!"  "LaTanya, give me the wand."  "Now you're gonna tase me?"  "Sir, I need to wand you if you won't empty your pockets."   "Rudy, for Chrissakes, the media!  Put your pants on." 

 

Then it got stranger.  Judge Beryl Howell has already ruled in favor of Shaye Moss and Ruby Freeman, the two poll workers Giuliani defamed; the hearing will determine how much he owes in damages.  So he continued to defame them, repeating the same lie about how they fiddled the ballots they were counting.  The former federal prosecutor also displayed contempt for the judge, refusing to stand when she called a recess.  By the time a jury is selected he'll probably show up in bathrobe and flip-flops.

Well, that was fun.  The rest of the news is somewhere between sober and please kill me.  When I go to the doctor most of the paperwork concerns the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) and its byzantine rules about who can see my records and for why.  It's one of those federal laws that doesn't apply to Texas, apparently, where Kate Cox had to sue for permission to terminate her non-viable pregnancy before it kills her.  Her story and her face are now known in every part of the world, and in the end she had to leave the state anyway.  Its attorney general, Ken Paxton, is adamant about enforcing the law except where it applies to his own criminal indictments.

Volodymyr Zelensky came to Washington seeking $61 billion to continue the war for democracy in Europe before we need to fight it here.  The Gang of Putin was too busy to see him, remembering a prior engagement with Viktor Orban.  The Hungarian fascist and Trump acolyte conveyed Putin's thanks for their intransigence and urged them to keep up the bad work.  Worse, Zelensky had to talk to Ron Johnson, who can't understand why he's no longer seeking peace with the invaders of his country.  (He really can't.  He can't understand anything.)  But he went home with a $200 million consolation prize from Joe Biden, roughly what we give Israel for a week of bombing.

If you want to know what Europe could be again, Poland offered a hint.  Newly elected president Donald Tusk got a vote of confidence from his parliament.  Then a pro-Putin MP named Grzegorz Braun pulled out a fire extinguisher and snuffed the candles of a menorah in the chamber, describing it as "satanic worship."  

Are you ready to be frightened by Megyn Kelly?  "There is no way the Trump base is not going to be beside itself with anger at that level of deprivation of being able to simply vote for the candidate of choice."  She refers to the many criminal prosecutions of Trump, which somehow prevent his droogs from voting for him.  Tucker Carlson agrees, calling it "rigging the election...you're gonna get violence if you keep this shit up."  Then both regretted the violence they had just fantasized about.  Tucker dropped by to promote his new Tucker Carlson Network.  For half the cost of Netflix you can stream exciting programs by Tucker, and Alex Jones and, oh, probably other white nationalists.  No sponsors to dump him, no producer to tell him when he's crossed a line and no bitches to sue him for sexual harassment.  The perfect Christmas gift for your racist uncle!

"Trump doesn't cower," said parking garage and Trump attorney Alina Habba, promising that her client would testify in his fraud trial.  He glowered but he cowered, not opening his mouth even to attack Judge Engoron's clerk, who he has decided is Chuck Schumer's mistress and is plotting against him every time she speaks to the judge.  Anyway, it was quiet.

These people can't even criticize the expulsion of George Santos without hinting at violence.  No wonder restaurant workers get shot when McDonalds runs out of fries.