Jackpot
I don't know why I thought of it when I read that Trump plans to fire the board of the USPS (Louis DeJoy quit last week, saying, "My job of wrecking the postal service is done") and take personal control of the mails. The felon has long monetized his image by selling it to MAGAts, but stands to make even more money if people are forced to buy it to send Meemaw a birthday card. How would you like to find this on your mail?
Be grateful for self-adhesive. At least you won't have to lick it.
Although a fan of Brian Cox since he was the first Hannibal Lecter on film (Manhunter, check it out), I have never watched Succession. Nor Breaking Bad, The Wire nor Game of Thrones. All these prestige series seem to be too much of a commitment in time and concentration for someone who needed two sittings and a cold shower to get through Oppenheimer. So I have no idea how closely Succession stuck to the adventures of the merry Murdochs. I didn't know their evil empire was close to falling apart over money and politics until I read yesterday's Guardian. Apparently the UK's gutter press favorite the Sun has lost a million pounds a year due in part to "the high cost of paying damages to victims of illegal information-gathering," and there have been dramatic trials about old Rupe cutting his daughters out of his will through good old-fashioned misogyny. (As if naming one of them Prudence wasn't bad enough.) Just when Fox News is on the brink of becoming Official State TV, could it wind up being sold to Russia Tonight? Would we notice any change?
Letting the air out of News Corporation at this point in history would be quietly satisfying, but not much more. Like the symbolic victory of the Canadian hockey team Friday night in the Four Nations Face-off, which is apparently a mid-season event comparable to baseball's All-Star Game. Because:
I don't expect a follow-up post because the king does not acknowledge that EVERYTHING TRUMP TOUCHES DIES, although there may be a Justice Department investigation into the game. I understand that Anna Paulina Luna Mayerhofer Gamberzky Jingleheimerschmidt plans to introduce articles of impeachment for head coach Mike Sullivan.
By the way, did everyone notice he signs his posts PRESIDENT now? It's beginning to dawn on him that Musk is in the driver's seat. The Boer boor probably told little X to wipe snot on the Resolute Desk so Trump would send it out for cleaning. I saw Senator Brewster (Alan Alda) play a similar mind game with Howard Hughes (Leonardo DiCaprio) in The Aviator.)
HM can break in his new desk by signing an instant pardon for Enrique Tarrio, arrested Friday for assaulting a woman near the Capitol. If Steve Bannon is telling the truth -- remember, I said if -- the J6 Chorale will soon make their professional debut at the Formerly Kennedy Center and they'll need every degenerate who hasn't been re-arrested or decided to shoot it out with police during a traffic stop.
For all his bragging, the felon's rate of deportation is lower than Joe Biden's, according to figures from his own DHS. But did Biden drive an eleven-year-old Texas girl, Jocelynn Rojo Carranza, to kill herself because classmates taunted her about her immigration status? He did not. That was all Big Man Donnie, the scourge of brown children. Boo-ya.
Which (adult) women are making Donnie pee his diaper today? He wants to sell the Federal Building in San Francisco and rent space for the few employees not fired by President Musk, purely as a cost-cutting measure. Nothing to do with its being called the Nancy Pelosi Federal Building, that would be petty and childish. He also relaxed after Crap-PAC by trash-posting about MSNBC, hilariously calling it "A THREAT TO OUR DEMOCRACY." And just like that the sniveling cowards announced the cancellation of Joy Reid and her replacement with a panel (Alicia Menendez, Symone Sanders Townsend and Michael Steele). Safety in numbers, I guess. If you want to express yourself to the head coward, her name is Rebecca Kutler. Good luck.
The latest strong woman to threaten Soggy Bottom Donnie is Janet Mills, the Democratic governor of Maine. At a White House luncheon Friday he threatened her with loss of federal funding because she refuses to bar transgender athletes from student sports. "I'm complying with state and federal laws," the governor told him. "We are the federal law," he snarled. (The royal "we"? Him and Musk? Who knows?) Yesterday the Bangor Daily News published an editorial which contained an eighth grade civics lesson for the convicted felon. He won't read it.
In other news of EVERYTHING TRUMP TOUCHES DIES, the Formerly Kennedy Center reports that ticket sales have fallen by 50 percent since the Ric Grenell threat to "make art great again." He also promised "a big, huge [sic] celebration of the birth of Christ at Christmas," i.e., the kind of thing Radio City Music Hall has done forever. Instead of the Rockettes and their trademark kick line, the Ric-ettes will finish with a Nazi salute.
Still the nominal commander-in-chief, the felon backed the military into a dressing room and assaulted it last week, dismissing Air Force General C.Q. Brown as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and Admiral Lisa Franchetti as head of the Navy. Their offense was being Black and female respectively and not being as slobberingly loyal as the new chairman, retired general Dan "Raizin" Caine. (He couldn't find an active-duty general who would kiss his ass.) Five other admirals and generals and the judge advocates general of the Army, Navy and Air Force also got the hook, along with an unknown number of civilian employees of the DoD. So a blackout drunk is in charge and the rest is chaos. Luckily we're not at war.
Do you feel lucky?
Comments
Post a Comment