Deja vu all over again

 Return with me now to those thrilling days of yesteryear...October 15, 2012:  Republican vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan went to a soup kitchen in Youngstown, Ohio, where he rolled up his sleeves, put on an apron and washed pots which had already been washed.  Imagine, some called this a cynical photo-op.  

October 20, 2024:  Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump went to a McDonalds in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, which was closed and ringed with security.  Carefully selected Trumpanzees played the role of "customer," pretending to order food from the adjudicated rapist, who manned the drive-thru after spending up to five minutes pretending to make fries.  This was said to be clear evidence that Kamala Harris never worked at a California McDonalds forty years ago.  Unlike Ryan, Trump did not bring his wife.  Nor did he wear gloves or a hairnet.

Asked if he supports raising the minimum wage, Trump went off-menu to serve this word salad:  "I think these people work hard, they're great.  I just saw something, a process, that's beautiful.  It's a beautiful thing to see, these are great franchises."  Translation:  No $15 an hour for you.

Trump now prefers to hold "town halls" because he can sit down.  In Lancaster, Pennsylvania, yesterday the questions of his mental collapse came up but he waved it away:  "I've got no cognitive problem.  I have no cognitive.  There's no cognitive problem.  Got no cognitive."  Turning to the moderator Sage Steele he said, "Let's have a little fun, Page, OK?"  He then explained that at 78 he is "not that close" to 80.  

In their September 10 debate Kamala Harris brought up Trump's demand for the execution of the Central Park Five, the young men exonerated for the rape of a jogger in 1989, and he took the bait like a performing dolphin at Sea World.  In fact he kicked it up a notch by accusing them of murder.  Now the Five are suing him for defamation.  He just can't leave it alone.  Got no cognitive.

Ted Cruz got pushed around like a Swiffer in his debate with Colin Allred, so he went straight for traditional racism disguised as transphobia.  Invoking the fake issue of "men playing women's sports" he declared, "It's not right to have a biological male competing against our daughters."  Because many boys transition primarily to play women's sports.  Then he said, "Can you imagine having an NFL linebacker tackle your daughter?"  I'm sorry, Ted, did you mean to say "Can you imagine having a Black man like Colin Allred tackle your daughter?"  You did, didn't you?  This is how lynchings happen, Ted.

Doug Burgum, who is governor of North Dakota and also rich, had some wild idea that he wanted to be on the national ticket.  To get invited to the first Republican debate he had to show he had 40,000 donors to his campaign, so he hit on a scheme to offer a $20 credit card to anyone who donated a dollar.  Easy money, and it worked.  Buying votes has probably been around since Coriolanus ran for consul of Rome.  So why shouldn't Elon Musk buy votes for Trump?  For one thing, he's no better at it than he is at building non-exploding cars.  It may also be illegal, but that doesn't worry the rich.  Back when Democrats were the bad guys, operatives from Tammany Hall would ply men, some of them fresh off the ferry from Ellis Island, with cash and alcohol to vote numerous times in different precincts.  Politics, huh?

Trump is in North Carolina today but he's not lobbing paper towels at hurricane victims.  He's preaching to a bunch of religious crazies who make regular-strength crazies look like the staff of Josiah Bartlet's White House.  They believe Trump is God's anointed and that's just the opening paragraph.  They also believe the hurricanes were/are man-made, that Harris (Baptist) and Walz (Lutheran) attend "synagogues of Satan," that "mermaids and water people" are up to mischief and that Jared Kushner is a Chinese clone.  The clone's brother-in-law Eric Trump organized this revival meeting, telling head crazy Clay Clark, "We need to get together the nonwackadoodles."  It's "invitation only."  Wouldn't you love to know who (or what) didn't make the list?

No votes have been tallied in Georgia or anywhere else, but Margie Greene has already assured Alex Jones that Dominion Voting Systems software is switching Republican votes to Democratic in her district.  She likes to stay close to her constituents.