Bothered and bewildered

 Are there any good studies about the effect of Aspartame on cognitive functions?  Specifically the cognitive functions of an old man who has guzzled it daily for decades?  After being convicted of nearly three dozen felonies, is it a good idea to keep attacking the judge who will make the decision about where he spends potentially the rest of his life?  I guess.

"This was a rigged decision from day one, with a conflicted judge who should never have been allowed to try this case," he ranted, in much the same language as after the last verdict.  But there was a jury this time, twelve New Yorkers who needed only two days to decide that the state's case was proven.  Trump sat there mostly awake while his lawyers conducted voir dire and agreed on the jury.  Judge Merchan did not select the jury, nor did he force Trump to hire incompetent lawyers.  Joe Biden did not involve himself in this case nor in any of the other criminal prosecutions currently taking place all over this country, including his son's.  No convicted felon ever says, "Yeah, I did it," but most of them know enough to shut up.

Since The Other John Roberts lied to gullible Fox viewers about Merchan's jury instructions, the herd has been restless, with one writing, "it's time to find out where that judge lives and protest as the left calls it."  After being incredibly generous about the multiple gag order violations and slanders of himself and his daughter, the judge would have to be as saintly as, well, Mother Teresa to show leniency, especially if actual violence is attempted.  

Don't forget -- Juan Merchan was born in Colombia.  Trump hasn't.  At this morning's press performance he started with the usual fake martyrdom ("If they can do this to me, they can do this to anyone") before breaking into the anti-immigrant rag ("millions of people are flowing in from all parts of the world, not just South America...from jails and prisons...from mental institutions and insane asylums...bad people...sick people").  Now why would that occur to him?  Well, one juror was born in Ireland.  His campaign claims he has rooked the rubes out of a record-breaking $34.8 million, if you want to believe it.  Will he get to spend any of it at the prison commissary?

Todd Blanche thinks not, for a jaw-dropping list of reasons:  "Putting aside the fact that he was president..." -- there's not enough brain bleach on the planet to forget that -- "he is 78, 79 years old.  He's a grandfather, a husband, a father."  Don't piss on my gold-plated sneakers and tell me it's pouring.  He's a grandfather who probably couldn't name one of the kids, a father who walked past Tiffany with no sign of recognition, a husband who cheated on his postpartum wife which is why we're here.  Blanche should have represented Whitey Bulger.

And don't forget the impeccable character witnesses:  "A man of honor," said Viktor Orban, while Kremlin spokesman Dmitri Peskov condemned "the elimination, in effect, of political rivals by all possible means, legal and illegal" before continuing to scrub Alexei Navalny's blood from his hands.  Italian fascist deputy prime minister Matteo Salvini bewailed "the weaponization of the justice system by the left," probably a reference to the travails of Silvio Berlusconi.  No word from Bolsonaro or Milei, but it's early.  Perhaps Kim Jong-un will write one of his billets doux to the court.

Probably the July 11 sentencing will be postponed -- too near the Republican convention, or the British election, or the birthday of Yul Brynner, surely a holiday somewhere.  Probably the non-custodial sentence will be appealed, causing further delay.  Possibly another Harold Bornstein-like doctor will certify, for a few hundred dollars, that Trump is well enough to campaign but not to be sentenced.  It is indeed unprecedented.  We've had criminal vice-presidents -- Aaron Burr, who plotted to start his own country; Spiro Agnew, who had to resign as part of his "nolo contendere" plea to corruption while governor of Maryland -- but an ex-president who has a chance to become a vengeful dictator is new here.   

White House communications director Michael Tyler writes, "America just witnessed a confused, desperate and defeated Donald Trump..."  Sing it with me:  "Confused, desperate and defeated is he..."  The Rodgers and Hart songs are the best.