Bedlam

 "I have the best words."  

It's a famous quote, but it's not the whole quote.  What Donald J. Trump actually said on December 30, 2015, was, "I'm very highly educated.  I know words.  I know the best words.  But there's no better word than stupid."

But there is:  bedlam.  The condition he created in the eight years since then.  The new normal.

And bedlam is what he specifically threatens if all the charges are not dropped and he is awarded at least two terms to make up for the suffering he has endured since November 2020.  "It'll be bedlam in the country.  It's a very bad thing.  It's a very bad precedent.  As we said, it's the opening of a Pandora's box."  Quick, somebody ask him who Pandora was.  (I joke.  Reporters are not allowed to shout questions as if Trump were a common Joe Biden.)

Bedlam?  As the wonderful Glynis Johns sang in A Little Night Music, "Don't bother, they're here."

Here's the House Oversight Committee debating whether to hold Hunter Biden in contempt when who walks in but Hunter Biden, a twenty-first century Abbie Hoffman in a business suit.  "I'm right here, bitches," he didn't say but should have, as Republicans lost their shit.  Really.  The room had to be shoveled out and fumigated.  "You are the epitome of white privilege, coming into the Oversight Committee, spitting in our face, ignoring a congressional subpoena to be deposed," shrieked Soul Sister Number One Nancy Mace.  "What are you afraid of?"  Another feral creature, Margie Greene, also smelled fear:  "What a coward," she growled, as Biden left before she could pull out her favorite picture of him.  Now the press displayed great courage, yelling, "Hunter, what's your favorite kind of crack?"  But it was too late, for Jamie Comer and the Comettes looked like fools.  As Trump would say, there's no better word than stupid.

Here's Judge Arthur Engoron, glimpsing the end of his nightmare in the distance, ruling that Trump may not make the closing argument in the New York fraud trial.  Initially the judge agreed, providing the defendant "not introduce new evidence, comment on irrelevant matters, deliver a campaign speech or impugn the judge, his staff, the attorney general, her lawyers or the court system."  Trump's lawyer Christopher Kise objected that the restrictions were "unfair," so I'm sure they will be grounds for appeal.  Too bad, because the media were all set for a two-hour free-association about "presidential immunity," magnets, windmills, perfect phone calls, and calling AG James an "animal."

Here's Trump sharing his economic program on Lindell TV  (the pillow guy).  He's sure Americans are tired of steady job growth and cooling inflation:  "When there's a crash I hope it's going to be during the next twelve months because I don't want to be Herbert Hoover."  Yes, that little hiccup in the 1930s was really bad for Herbert Hoover.   Last July Lindell claimed to have lost $100 million because stores were "cancelling" him, and auctioned off equipment from his factory.  I wonder where he found the rubles dollars to get into television.

Here's Trump explaining why he's going to win Florida:  he drives around the state and sees Trump yard signs absolutely everywhere.  Most states count ballots.

Here's another Trump lawyer John Sauer making his law professors proud as he tries to convince the DC Circuit Court of Appeals that there is too a thing called "presidential immunity," which would give Joe Biden the right to order Seal Team Six to terminate Trump with extreme prejudice.  Sauer says Trump had this right because he was not removed from office through impeachment, but if it flies it means Biden is essentially a medieval king.  It will not fly.  The three judges rolled their eyes so hard it sounded like a teenager snapping gum.  Trump will appeal on the grounds that Biden appointed two of them and all three are women.

Here's Trump trotting out the old birther argument, this time against Nikki Haley because her parents were not naturalized until after she was born in South Carolina.  According to a CNN poll of New Hampshire Republicans it's Trump 39 percent and Haley 32 percent as of yesterday, but I'm sure that has nothing to do with it.  It's not fear -- according to Adam Kinzinger Trump always smells of "armpits, ketchup, a butt and makeup."  

For a change of pace, here's a group of Hasidic Jews who got caught digging a tunnel into Chabad-Lubavitch World Headquarters in Brooklyn.  The building is closed until the FDNY determines it's not likely to fall down.  Rabbi Motti Seligson calls the tunnelers "a group of extremist students."  No doubt we'll be hearing more.

Here's Escambia County, Florida, getting sued by PEN America (among others) for protecting children by denying them dictionaries, A Tale of Two Cities, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, the Guinness Book of World Records, Wuthering Heights, books about Greek and Roman myths and several encyclopedias.  Everyone point and laugh at Escambia County, Florida.

This is the sort of Bedlam we need more of.  Says it kills the toughest bedbugs.