In good hands

 

When pancake makeup won't conceal the lesions anymore.  

Interviewed by Ben Meiselas, Dr. Vin Gupta suggested that Trump is getting infusions of a new drug for Alzheimer's, leqembi, which can cause brain bleeding.  Hence the need for MRIs.  Even if it works, he'll still be the depraved rapist, racist and habitue of Epstein Island he always was.  What's in it for us?

Let's enjoy the good stuff.  

Sean "Doofus" Duffy has inaugurated a campaign called "The Golden Age of Travel Starts With You," urging airline passengers to smarten themselves up.  Specifically he says, "Let's try not to wear slippers and pajamas as we come to the airport."  Who does that, especially in winter?  People who got the idea from Duffy, of course.  According to the Independent people are arriving in their comfiest clothes while audio of Duffy's nagging plays over the PA.  The problem is that Duffy and his ilk have never flown except in first class or on private jets.  Fly to Japan a few times in coach, with people on either side and that kid behind you kicking the seat and then talk about dress codes.

Fortune writes, "In the aftermath of much well-heeled panic about a potential mass exodus of New York millionaires and billionaires following the election of Zohran Mamdani, the contrary is already happening...signed contracts for Manhattan homes costing $4 million or more rose to 176 in November, a 25% increase from October," more than twice the rate of the overall market.  Sorry, Governor Abbott, when rich people hear about free buses and city-owned grocery stores there's no dislodging them.  Similar report from Bloomberg, which cites "the stock market rally and generous Wall Street bonuses."  Expect Trump to claim credit.

Only five years after the mysterious hooded figure was captured on video delivering pipe bombs to DNC and RNC headquarters on January 5, 2021, Brian Cole, Jr., was arrested by the FBI.  He told them he believed Trump's lies about the RIGGED AND STOLLEN election.  The book is open on the timing of his inevitable pardon.  (Deputy director Dan Bongino told Sean Hannity that he spread lies about the bombing being an "inside job" by the FBI because "I was paid for my opinions" on Fox "News" but now that he's on the FBI payroll he's strictly about facts.  Of course he's only one of the paid liars Trump poached from Murdoch, and far from the most important.)

Over on Newsmax Rudolph Giuliani emerged from his cave to deliver a long, confused attack on the "antifa Democrat Party" and call Cole a tool in an anti-Trump plot.  Why?  Because his parents gave money to the Democratic Party.  Also Biden "gave away" Bagram air base.  So when can Shaye Moss and Ruby Freeman expect the check?

Doug Burgum continues his impersonation of a reptile crawling on its belly before Trump.  From now on national parks will no longer offer free admission on Juneteenth and Martin Luther King, Jr., Day, but will do so on Trump's birthday.  Surprisingly it's not yet a federal holiday.

In another whiff for the Bondi Department a second grand jury refused to indict Letitia James for mortgage fraud.  Maybe the jurors have read Trump's TM to Bondi, which the incompetent clown posted to Truth Social by mistake:  "What about Comey, Adam 'Shifty' Schiff, Leticia???  They're all guilty as hell but nothing is going to be done."  Suck on it, Dozy.  Learn to spell "Letitia."

"His obsession with me is creepy.  I hope he gets the help he desperately needs," wrote Ilhan Omar, who is a much better person than I am.  I hope he has a massive stroke and lies in his piss for twelve hours like Stalin.  At least in Armando Iannucci's telling.

Trump can still stay awake for the important stuff, like collecting a bullshit "peace prize" from FIFA and making the world a little dumber.  Of course he attended the draw which was held at the Kennedy Center free of charge, making it unavailable to anyone else.  There he offered some thoughts about how soccer is the real football and "we have to come up with another name for the NFL stuff."  Trump has hated the NFL since they wouldn't let him buy in.  Remember the US Football League?  Neither does anyone else but historians.  His dementia has now manifested as a mania for naming things after himself so brace for the National Trumpball League.

His tree-lighting ceremony last night was the most religion-drenched anyone can remember.  Even Jimmy Carter, an actual Sunday school teacher and born-again Baptist, would have known better than to quote the New Testament to a nation of non-believers as well as religions Trump can't even pronounce.  I suppose it's part of his "let me into heaven" offensive, and offensive is the only word.  It's a spruce tree, stupid, a pagan symbol everyone can more or less agree on.  Shut up and let the woman you've cheated on more times than most people have bought tires push the damn button.

You want a Nativity scene?  Lake Street Church in Evanston, Illinois, has one for you -- a brown-skinned Baby Jesus zip-tied and wrapped in a silver emergency blanket surrounded by Roman centurions in ICE vests and sunglasses, while Joseph and Mary wear respirators to protect against tear gas.  Any response?  Insulting Governor Pritzker isn't a rebuttal but try it anyway.

No part of Europe is safe from Russian aggression or ever will be until NATO stands up to Putin with more than talk and medium-grade weaponry.  As Volodymyr Zelenskyy's plane approached Dublin Airport Monday night it was surrounded by four military-style drones.  "It is not yet known who launched and controlled the drones" or where they are now, said The Journal.  Take a guess.

Let's close out the week with a gift from Gavin Newsom, "the healthiest human currently alive or recorded in medical history."  What would we do without his troll division?  Laughter is more important than ever during this dark season, and I don't just mean winter.