Visions of Charlie
I could have gone with "Pammy tell me true," referencing Pam Bondi's inability to remember whether a certain five-letter name appears multiple times in the Epstein files, although she could recollect minor details about Sheldon Whitehouse's "confidant" Reid Hoffman.. Yes-or-no questions defeated her utterly. She was, however, familiar enough with the file to call his question "salacious." And to change the subject when Richard Blumenthal questioned her about another witness and she retorted irrelevantly that he "lied about [his] military service." As corrupt attorneys general go, Pammy is no John Mitchell.
I considered "House of Mouse," because Mikey Mouse-turd is all over the place despite being on (paid) leave which he granted himself. Manu Raju asked why he can't find two minutes in his non-busy schedule to swear in Adelita Grijalva and he promised, "We will swear her in when everyone gets back," because the full House always witnesses these ceremonies. Pressed, he stammered, "Uh, look, uh, we'll schedule it, I guess, as soon as she wants," as though Grijalva was ducking him while selecting the curtains for her office. Next, I imagine, will be "I can't find my swearing-in Bible. Probably one of those satanic Democrats stole it." Again, nothing to do with Jeffrey What's-his-name.
But Mikey wasn't through bearing false witness. He gave an impassioned speech about "a young pregnant American citizen woman" who needs ER care and the hospital is paid less than it would be for "some illegal rabble rouser" from South America, "that is wrong." In other words, he has repealed the 1986 law requiring hospitals to treat the undocumented by his own precious self. And if that "young pregnant American citizen woman" was bleeding heavily and needed a termination to save her life, too bad, right, Mikey?
And Mikey still had time and energy to offer cultural criticism, suggesting that Lee Greenwood or similar "role models" replace Bad Bunny at the Superbowl. To protect the children, who probably never heard of Greenwood. Just because you represent part of Louisiana, renowned for jazz and zydeco, doesn't mean you know fuck-all about music.
But then I read this from the irrefutable Candace Owens: "I had a vivid dream this weekend and Charlie [Kirk] came to me and he told me that he was betrayed." Because it just can't be the case that the proverbial "lone nut" from a family of LDS Republicans would shoot down such an important personage. An international conspiracy of Turning Point insiders, Israeli operatives and perhaps aliens (I'll get there in a minute) was responsible. Would Owens ("Brigitte Macron is a man") make it up?
Is Charlie manifesting to just anyone or only his disciples, like You Know Who? Owens says the last time she had a "super vivid dream" she was pregnant. Did Charlie impregnate her this time? Will the Macrons drop their defamation suit when they learn about the fruit of her womb? Damn it, this is exciting, even if the Apocalypse was another damp squib.
"The American people aren't children to be spoon-fed half-truths or dismissed with vague excuses. We deserve to know what's really going on." Lauren Boebert demanding the release of the Epstein -- excuse me, no, that was Lauren Boebert demanding to know "Are aliens real?" Yes, she's still in Congress. Were aliens part of the Kirk Conspiracy? Why not?
If Greenwood isn't available would the NFL consider Javier Milei? Yes, that one. In Buenos Aires he threw a concert to cover 80s rock songs (and "Hava Nagila," for some reason) and promote his book La Construccion del Milagro. Presumably it describes his miraculous rescue of the Argentinian economy by flattering Trump into giving him $40 billion which was just lying around while rural hospitals in red states locked their doors. Not just anyone could have done that -- ask Zelenskyy.
It sounds like state rep Kevin Steele had a vivid dream, too, because he introduced a bill in the Florida legislature requiring public state universities and colleges to name a road after the blessed martyr Kirk or lose state funding. (This would be in addition to the Charlie statues.) Steele's lunacy has been successful in the past -- he co-sponsored the law which bans "weather control" in Florida. Weather control is now illegal in Florida.
So is free speech. Ask James and Cathy O'Gara of Largo. They sent a postcard to the state's CFO which simply said "You lack values." Next thing they know a couple of shtarkers in bulletproof vests are at the door. Blaise Ingoglia sent investigators from the criminal division of the Department of Financial Services. Having proved that they weren't antifa, which is as fictitious as weather control, the O'Garas were allowed to get their 11-year-old granddaughter to school.
In other news of "I'm so old I can remember free speech" Trump is howling for the arrest of J.B. Pritzker (and Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson for good measure) because the governor told the Chicago Tribune, "This is a man who's suffering dementia. This is a man who has something stuck in his head. He doesn't read. He doesn't know anything that's up to date. It's just something in the recesses of his brain that is effectuating to have him call out these cities [Portland and Chicago]." Based on his mutterings in Quantico Trump seems to have a long-time obsession with Pritzker. Maybe it's because none of his awful buildings ever won a Pritzker Prize for architecture. That would rankle. Two groups of Americans have already shared Nobel Prizes in physics and medicine this year, and he's getting anxious.
I forgot this yesterday.
Watch out for those manifest flying whatsits.
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