Say your prayers
The Stupid has been in overdrive all week, from Double Secret Tariffs on China to circumcised babies gobbling Tylenol, but something was missing. I couldn't put my finger on it, something about Ron Johnson and Mike Lee having to provide more than their share of inanity, like Spinal Tap's keyboard player filling in for Nigel Tufnel. You know who's been sidelined? Tommy Tuberville, Alabama's revenge for Appomattox.
And he's back, raging about the biggest problem nobody else has noticed. Not troops and air traffic controllers going unpaid or random Chicagoans being arrested for no reason or random Democrats being indicted for no reason. Tommy has spotted Muslims praying in public.
Tommy went on with the equally thoughtful Alex Jones and demonstrated his need for a rabies booster. "This is out of control! What gives them the right to go out in the middle of the street in a lot of these big cities and do their prayer? You got a mosque, go to your mosque! You don't do that in your country, you only do it where you want to mark your ground...they're taking over slowly but surely. We have to fight back. Sharia law needs to be banned in this country" or lose "the United States of America to a bunch of people coming over here that want to kill us." Because "socialist communists" permit freedom of religion, which would be news to Lenin. Tommy's against freedom of religion, except for Protestants.
Every day Trump reports on another hallucination he has had about an American city, from the thousands of people murdered in Chicago to the daily incineration of Portland (too bad another city is called Phoenix, because Portland apparently rises from the ashes every morning). But even Trump has yet to spot these hordes of praying Muslims out in the streets, "marking their ground" like male dogs urinating on trees. That's the sort of thing he used to specialize in, like the dancing Muslims of 9/11. Wait till Tommy finds out that Trump's own Warfighter has invited the Qatar and UAE air forces to rub their Sharia all over Idaho.
It isn't just legalized Islam that the adherents of the One True God have to contend with. Remember Vivek Ramaswamy? He's running for governor of Ohio and he hit a speed bump when he agreed to speak to some Kirkolators at a TPUSA convocation in Montana, which is nowhere near Ohio. Anyway, he ran into a swarm of believers who questioned his right to even be here. "How can you represent the constituents of Ohio who are 64 percent Christian if you are not a part of that faith? What are you conserving?" demanded one. "Christianity is the one truth." Another accused him of trying to "masquerade as a Christian," asking, "Isn't America based on what Protestantism is?" Well, no, it's based on a Constitution which doesn't mention religion except to say it's not to be used as a test for holding office. The point was to differentiate the new nation from Great Britain, with its established Church and an oath that kept even Roman Catholics from taking their seats in Parliament until well into the nineteenth century. Are all the TPUSA kids dropouts like Kirk, who quit college to avoid exposure to ideas? For the record Ramaswamy calls himself "an ethical monotheist," but he'd still make a lousy governor.
"I don't think there's anything that's gonna get me in heaven. I think I'm not maybe heaven bound," Trump confided to the reporters as he set off to take credit for the hostage release in Israel. No telling what brought this on -- maybe the press release on his most recent Annual Physical was rosier than the facts warrant. "Cardiac age 14 years younger than his chronological age," says Dr. Sean Barbabella, which is a strange way to say "heart of a 65-year-old who never exercises and lives on high cholesterol junk food." No mention of the bruised hands and swollen legs, or the drooping face and tendency to fall asleep in public. Every time Joe Biden forgot the name of some obscure Congressman the media went into a dementia frenzy. If Trump returned from Israel in a box the Republicans would be giddy with relief. The whole party/cult is shackled to the Epstein file like Marley's ghost with his ledgers and cash boxes. They could re-open the government rejoicing that Vance never set foot on the island, and get on with Project 2025.
Today's Independent sums it up as "a victory lap for Trump but the beginning of the end for Netanyahu" but the real story is the joy and relief of twenty families getting their hostages back after 738 days. Was it worth the thousands of dead and the reduction of Gaza to rubble? Not for me to say. But wherever Trump goes, authoritarianism follows. He made a speech to the Knesset to boast about his achievement(s) and several members demurred. As they were hustled out of the chamber one by one, he praised the security: "That was efficient." All two of them did was hold up signs. The Israeli parliament is accustomed to vigorous debate but no dissent was permitted today. And he brought along Jared and Ivanka, perhaps to prove that he's not as antisemitic as everyone says. Or perhaps Jared's role in this administration is to close up his umbrella as he boards the plane. After all this time it's something of a running gag.
Don't worry, patriots, Dear Leader has promised to be home in time for our new national holiday tomorrow, Kirk Day. He kicked off the long weekend with a hilarious error-filled press release in honor of "the original American hero" (a Genoan in the service of Spain) Christopher Columbus. He promises to "reclaim his legacy of faith, courage, perseverance and virtue" from "left-wing arsonists" (no clue). CC's mission: to "spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ to distant lands" by "exploring [Caribbean] coasts and engaging with their people." He engaged so hard with the people of Hispaniola that all of them were dead when he came back for more gold and more slaves. It goes on and on, like a composition assignment cribbed from a very old encyclopedia sprinkled with cliches out of the Billy Graham handbook ("steadfast prayer and unwavering fortitude," "rightful praise to our Creator above").. Nothing about trade routes or riches or proclaiming himself "Admiral of the Ocean Sea" like some idiot with a Sharpie renaming the Gulf of Mexico on a whim. How long before the felon/adulterer/pedophile/congenital liar starts leading us in daily prayer?
It's funny until it's not. In Perry County, Tennessee, a former policeman named Larry Bushart is sitting in jail unless he can come up with $2 million bond. On Facebook Bushart responded to the Kirk assassination by posting a Trump quote ("We have to get over it") in response to the shooting at Perry High School in Iowa in January 2024 and commenting, "This seems relevant today." This was somehow interpreted as a threat to carry out a shooting at Perry County High School and Bushart was arrested and charged with Threats of Mass Violence on School Property. I assume the arraignment judge was a major Kirkolator. Bushart had a bond hearing scheduled for last Thursday, but this was mysteriously changed to December 4 so he'll have to miss Thanksgiving, too. The rule of law, Tennessee style. Back in 1969 in Watts v. United States William O. Douglas wrote, "Suppression of speech as an effective police measure is an old, old device outlawed by our Constitution." It still works, though.
It's not enough to support free speech; we also have to fight propaganda in the guise of speech. DHS and Botox Kristi made a video blaming the Trump shutdown on the Democrats to be aired at all airports as travelers wait in endless lines caused by the Trump shutdown. But the airports in Seattle and Phoenix are refusing to play it, owing to its "political nature," and they have now been joined by Portland, or whatever is left of it. Some of its "left-wing arsonists":
If Trump can have two Annual Physicals this year, Portland can have two of these:
It's the World Naked Bike Ride, Emergency Edition, usually scheduled in summer. Despite rain and temperatures in the 50sF, Portlanders put it all out there to protest the invasion of their city.
"Joy is a form of protest. Being together with mutual respect and kindness is a form of protest," organizers wrote. Keep that in mind this Saturday, NO KINGS DAY. Even if it's snowing. To get you warmed up here's a message from Robert DeNiro, who limited himself to one F-bomb.
Comments
Post a Comment