Making America Grotesquely Awful

 

This is the former East Wing of the White House being smashed open to make room for the desperately not needed Make 'em Believe Ballroom.  No professional builder, even a terrible one, starts a big job like this in late October and no one but a vandal would alter a National Historical Landmark without permission from Congress and the National Park Service, but when you've already been convicted of 34 felonies, what's one more?  It's not as if Little Mike is going to stand up to Daddy, and Doug Burgum is busy firing Park staff and having his eyebrows landscaped.

According to Kash Patel, so believe it if you want, the Secret Service were strolling around West Palm Beach and came across "an elevated hunting stand within elevated sight line" of the place Air Force One lands.  No one was there but someone could have drawn down on Dear Leader as he struggled with one of those woke Marxist umbrellas that conspire against him.  CNN says the stand was not new and is similar to those built by bow hunters, but you can't be too careful.  Meanwhile Christopher Moynihan, one of Trump's J6 goons, was arrested by the New York state police for threatening to kill Hakeem Jeffries and Little Mike didn't see the problem ("I don't know any of the details of this at all...the violence on the left blah blah...").  Moynihan was one of the day's standouts, stealing papers from senators' desks and leading the other rioters in prayer through a bullhorn.  

Plenty of US citizens, legal residents and Canadian visitors have been locked up for weeks after being grabbed by the ICEstapo to meet their daily Miller Quota, but there's at least one place in this hemisphere where law prevails.  One of the two men rescued from last week's unprovoked attack on some sort of vessel off the Venezuelan coast has been released by his home country of Ecuador because the attorney general said "no report of a crime" had reached his office.  (And even if he was the CEO of MS-13, fuck Trump, he probably wanted to add.)

Trump won't care about that but here's a story he will pay attention to:  Jack Nicklaus won his $50 million defamation suit against the company he founded and later sold, Nicklaus Companies, for spreading the rumor that he was considering an offer to become the spokesman for LIV Golf League, the organization charged with improving the image of Prince Bone Saw and Saudi Arabia.  Nicklaus said the rumors subjected him to "ridicule, hatred, distrust, mistrust or contempt."  Trump was happy to take the Saudi bribe because he's already enjoying all those things.

Little Mike worries a lot about "all the violence on the left" -- three weeks into the Trump shutdown he has nothing else to do -- so he's going to be confused by the arrest of Nicholas Ray of Spring, Texas, for extortion and death threats against Laura Loomer and other Jewish conservatives.  The threats were evidently inspired by Candace Owens's insistence that Charlie Kirk was murdered at the behest of Israeli intelligence.  Sample tweets:  "You're literally a foreign agent, Laura.  Just move to fucking Israel."  "America hates Jews and we want them removed from our government and our society."  Not fun to be the target of racism, is it?  Please note, Mike, we of the woke persuasion do not take advice from Candace Owens.  This is your ball of snakes to disentangle.

Then you can turn your attention to Tucker Carlson, who is still using his woodshed podcast to promote the blood libel variant that the covid virus was engineered to make Ashkenazi Jews immune.  Nothing much new here except this is the kind of pseudo-science that would appeal to our Secretary of Health and Human Suffering.  

Isn't it strange how homophobia and racism tend to be found together?  A group of uniformed police officers from Clover, South Carolina, ate lunch in the Augusta, Georgia, branch of Chick-fil-A.  Sergeant Tracey Reid, who is black, was angry to find that he had to pay while his white colleagues ate for free.  After his story hit the news the owner insisted it was an "oversight" and Sergeant Reid got an apology and two free meal cards.  I wonder if he plans to use them.

Remember Vito Guzzo?  Neither did I, but he's the newest recipient of a Trump Pardon, albeit after serving 26 of the 38 years he got for carrying out several hits for the Colombo crime family.  It was his good luck to run into Steve Bannon in the Danbury fed and Bannon discovered he was "the single biggest Trump fan you've ever seen."  Presto!  Freedom.  Isn't it strange how violence and religiosity tend to be found together?  Bannon's studio looks like my grandmother's bedroom.  Where's the Infant of Prague?

That's a real Catholic!  Not like the pope from Chicago who keeps telling people they have a duty to the less fortunate.  He got an earful from MAGA about "governments, NGOs and moral grandstanders" who just don't understand the Bible the way they do.  "You belong to someone else, not God," wrote one brokenhearted ex-Catholic.  We all have our own reasons for bailing on the faith. 

This was funny but it might not have been.  Greasy Pete and J.D. Couchlover set out for California to witness a display of Our Mighty Military in celebration of the USMC's 250th.  War -- it's fantastic!  Except one shell exploded early -- you guys know how it is when a 155mm shell gets over-excited -- and shrapnel landed on the Couchlover's motorcade.  The CHP vehicle and motorcycle were a little dented but no one was hurt, because over objections from the Shite House, Gavin Newsom had closed the highway.  As Casey Stengel said when he first beheld the 1962 Mets, "Can't anybody here play this game?"