Led by donkeys

 With less than two weeks to go and fourteen percentage points to make up, Andrew Cuomo has decided to let his Trump flag fly.  He released an AI video called "Criminals for Mamdani," in which his opponent's supporters are shown abusing a woman, shoplifting (in a keffiyah), selling drugs, etc.  Cuomo lived in Albany for a long time, so he may have forgotten how diverse New York City is.  I can't think of any other possible excuse.

What, no Red Sox hat?

Today, according to the Times, Cuomo will receive the endorsement of the deeply unpopular incumbent Eric Adams, who once called him "a snake and a liar."  All he needs now is a photo op with Trump in front of the ruins of the White House.

J.D. Vance was in Israel this week and Netanyahu marked the occasion by having the Knesset, which he controls, vote for formal annexation of the West Bank.  Vance pronounced himself "insulted," sensing that the thousand-year peace declared by Trump is being further damaged.  Our new ally and Idaho tenant the UAE said such an annexation would "harm" the Abraham Accord, but just because Bibi's face is not on the cover of Time doesn't mean he's taking orders from his financiers in Washington.  So you're insulted.  What are you going to do, cut off the money?

Squeaker Johnson continues to wave away the J6 rioter's threat to kill Hakeem Jeffries which police in New York found credible enough for an arrest, but he's happy to blame the seven to eight million people who spent last Saturday in peaceful and life-affirming protest ("assassination culture...deranged people...paid for by Soros and sponsored by communists...violence on the left").  Every time he opens his prissy little mouth I'm glad to be an atheist.  Religion is no substitute for morality.

Greasy Pete has chased all the journalists out of the Pentagon and re-stocked the press room with stooges from Newsmax, Lindell TV and the like, including Infowars.  If Alex Jones's conspiracy hub gets sold -- say, to The Onion -- reality will have gone full Escher as we try to figure out what's in today's press release and what they made up.  

Trump explained in a long, meandering post why he had "called off" the troop surge planned for San Francisco -- the mayor asked him "very nicely" and local MAGAs like Marc Benioff assured him that everything is under control.  He never got around to crediting the governor, who activated the National Guard out from under him to help distribute groceries at food banks.  This is called "saving face," although one commenter smelled TACOs.

Military occupations in other cities are not going to plan.  In Washington an Ohio National Guard sergeant and four DC police were not amused when Sam O'Hara began playing John Williams's "Imperial March" (a/k/a Darth Vader's theme) on his phone while walking behind them, so they handcuffed and briefly detained him.  (Misdemeanor music?  Felony hurt feelings?)  The ACLU is suing them on his behalf.  

At least they could name that tune.  Here's Trump making one of his less successful pop culture references:  "We have Darth Vader.  You know Darth Vader, right?  They call him Darth Vader, I call him a fine man but he's cutting Democrat priorities and they're never gonna get them back."  He's talking about his OMB director Russell Vought, the man who cooked up Project 2025, the man he swore last year he'd never heard of.  The freshly divorced man Trump repeated invited to Lago de Merde to sample its "beautiful ladies," where he'd soon be "drowning in pussy."  Trump thinks Darth Vader was the hero of Star Wars, just as he thought Hannibal Lecter was real.  

Whatever happened to those groceries that were going to be dirt cheap by now?  (It means things in a bag.)  Ranchers for Trump are miffed by his promise to lower the price of beef by importing it from America's new BFF Argentina, despite his offer to make up their losses out of the bottomless pool of tariff money.  Canada and Australia also export beef but their economies don't need propping up because they didn't elect would-be rock stars to head their governments.  The FDA, which Lord Vader hasn't gotten around to closing, announced the recall of more than six million eggs because of possible salmonella contamination, which is going to raise the price while making it harder to blame Joe Biden.  (Not impossible.)  Soybean farmers are stuck with tons of the things but at least they can make tofu -- it's bland but nourishing.  Guess where China is buying soybeans?  Argentina!  And polls suggest the price of food is distracting Americans from Trump's unparalleled Middle East triumph, and will continue to do so even after they see the new, improved cover of Time, which depicts him hiding his jowls and swollen legs.  Oh, look -- Marc Benioff owns Time -- small world!

Tsar of All the Borders and recipient of imaginary bribes Tom Homan has a cunning plan to justify not just murder in international waters but the invasion of anyplace Trump wants:  Declare fentanyl to be a Weapon of Mass Destruction.  That's how we justified regime change in Iraq despite a complete absence of Iraqis in the 9/11 attack.  He got the idea from Lauren "Handy" Boebert's "Fentanyl is a WMD Act," introduced before Trump shut down the government.  Homan claims there are 73,000 fentanyl deaths a year.  The American Cancer Society says there are 125,000 deaths from lung cancer, so maybe cigarettes should also be designated WMDs.  

The University of Virginia agreed to abide by the regime's demands to undermine academic freedom and end "unlawful discrimination" (formerly known as affirmative action) in return for money.  Just money.  I'm not sure if its founder, a notorious slave owner, would be happy or not.  Jefferson's profligacy resulted in Congress purchasing his books, which became the Library of Congress, so good things can result from bad.  I guess.  I'm not sure of anything.  I just hope nobody tells Trump there is a Library of Congress and it's priceless.  Barbarians have a need to destroy things just because they're barbarians.