Dusky sharks

 A man was snorkeling off the coast of Israel when he encountered a shiver of Dusky sharks, a species considered harmless to humans.  A few minutes later there was only blood in the water and small pieces of snorkeler.  Well.

The water in this area is unusually warm because of a nearby power plant.  Also boat operators throw them fish scraps to provide a show for tourists.  This teaches them to beg and when that doesn't work, to help themselves.

I thought I'd start there because it makes a kind of sense, unlike everything else.

"A Christian music star born without arms has been arrested on charges of possessing and producing child pornography."  Why is this newsworthy?  Because Jon Paul Sheptock, former pastor of First Montgomery Baptist Church in Texas, also worked at a women's prison.  Oh, and he sang the National Anthem at a Trump rally in 2022.

Leaving that Flannery O'Connor novel behind, we turn to the New York mayoral race.  If you're trailing by 14 points and you had to resign as governor because of multiple accusations of sexual misbehavior, what would help your campaign the most?  How about a website called "HotGirlsForCuomo"?  The brainchild of rightwing "influencer" Emily Austin, it sadly had to be taken down because she failed to buy the domain name.  Instead, readers are directed to the New York Attorney General's report on the investigation that resulted in Cuomo's resignation.  Despite being pictured on her social media page with Trump, Vance and Brainworm Kennedy, Austin doesn't seem to be good at influencing.

Those Chinese climate change hoaxers are cleverer than we thought.  How in the world did they introduce mosquitoes into Iceland?  Mosquitoes need warm, stagnant water to breed, and Iceland...never mind.  The real question is how the story can be reported in places where it's illegal to use the words "climate change."  Florida, for instance.

If you follow Kash Patel you received the following, probably the least offensive and most inclusive thing the FBI director will send this year:

It's a throwback to the golden age of openness, when Hanukkah was celebrated with a party in the White House and presidents tweeted holiday greetings that weren't filled with abuse.  Those days are gone, Patel just didn't get the memo.  "Heritage Americans don't want demon worship in our country.  Christ is King," wrote one Trumper.  "We don't celebrate satanic rituals in America.  Go back to India," suggested another.  (Patel was born in New York.)  "Fuck you retard.  America is for WHITE PEOPLE," another explained.  "Deport this cow shit eating motherfucker out of our country!" was another colorful response.  I think the floating lights are very beautiful.  (I'm told that "heritage American" is the politically correct term for WASP, which never made much sense to me -- isn't "white Anglo-Saxon" redundant?)  Anyway, Patel now knows that he must keep his Hindu faith on the down-low if he wants to go on serving the new Christofascism.

Although Trump says he "never heard of" Bad Bunny, he also says it's "absolutely ridiculous" that the Puerto Rican rapper is performing at the Superbowl.  He's legendary for arranging free admission to high-profile sporting events for himself and his court.  So when Roger Goodell held a press conference to confirm that Bad Bunny will appear, it's possible he was hoping the Great Freeloader will make other plans for February 8.  I couldn't possibly comment.

"Is anyone naive enough to believe Trump's federal thugs would hesitate to hogtie a few Canadian baseball fans if it helped meet their quota?" asked David Horsey in the Seattle Times?  The Toronto Blue Jays will play the Dodgers in their first World Series since 1993 but fans are reluctant to risk traveling to Los Angeles to support them.  When Trump brags about making America "hot" he means "dangerous."

As the Trump shutdown threatens federal food support for millions, Gavin Newsom announced that California will set aside $80 million for food banks and also activate its National Guard.  Which means the Guard will not be available should Trump decide to invade San Francisco.  Outsmarted again!

Question:  It Trump is proud of smashing up half the Shite House, why have people who work in the Treasury Department been ordered not to share pictures they take from their front row seats?  Isn't it the perfect metaphor for Trumpism?  Do they think no one will notice?  And speaking of out of sight, out of mind, not even Putin "testing" nuclear missiles will distract from the Epstein file.

Let's see:  James Comer stopped hunting for truffles long enough to announce that his Look-over-there-squirrel! Committee has already determined that Bill Clinton "had far closer ties to Epstein."  All he needs now is to force Clinton to confess testify.  Little Mike has taken to throwing finger quotes around "Epstein file" as if it's all fictitious.  

Adelita Grijalva received the key to an empty office (no internet, computers or phone lines) but remains a representative-elect because the Louisiana Liar refuses to swear her in.  (Arizona is suing him.)  Excerpts from Virginia Roberts Giuffre's book continue to appear in the news every day.  And lest interest flag, Rep. Stephen Lynch promises to "invite" Prince Andrew to join the Comer committee for a chat.  Americans love royalty, even the sleazy kind.

In conclusion, don't swim with sharks.