Wednesday is Epstein Day

 

Really, I should just send y'all over to All Hat No Cattle.  Best memes in town, and Lisa is holding a fundraiser.  Be generous.

On Monday we were trying to guess why a task force was steaming in the direction of Venezuela.  They are claiming eleven people killed in a boat headed for Trinidad.  The victory was praised by the prime minister of Trinidad and Tobago, Kamla Persad-Bissessar, who urged the US to "kill them all violently" for the suffering they have caused her country.  Trump announced that they were members of Tren de Aragua because he can just tell.  Other regional leaders hinted that a little prior notice would be welcome before any further violent killing in case it's just some fishermen.

Polish president Karol Nawrocki visited the White House and received the traditional welcome, a flyover by military jets -- I'm sorry?  It's not traditional, even for Netanyahu?  Apparently it wasn't so much a welcome as a supersonic raspberry to drown out the press conference being conducted on the Capitol steps by members of Congress and survivors of Jeffrey Epstein.  After a few seconds Chauntae Davies continued to describe Epstein's close friendship with Trump ("his biggest brag").  From seeding Lafayette Park to silencing accusers to kneeling before Putin's red carpet, Draft Dodger Don may be remembered for the most creative uses ever found for the military.

Including the sad parade for his own birthday, a first.  In Beijing they showed him how it's done, marking the 80th anniversary of the Japanese surrender.  Is this what he had in mind?

Xi, Kim and Putin shook hands with five veterans of the war, some older than 100.  It looked to be a joyful day -- it's hard to be sure in dictatorships -- but Trump can never just say "congratulations" or something; even at Easter he has to disparage and vilify.  And post this:

Meanwhile a video appeared on Tik-Tok showing objects being thrown out of an upper White House window by a person wearing white pants.  The official nothing-to-see-here explanation was "a contractor who was doing regular maintenance" while Trump was golfing.  Then Trump insisted it was "AI generated" because "those windows are sealed."  Do contractors or staff normally throw stuff out the window, sealed or otherwise?  It's still very mysterious, like his visit to the roof.

If a baseball manager started the season with an 0-7 record, fans would be calling in to sports radio to demand he be fired.  But Jeanine Pirro is still US Attorney for DC despite the grand jury refusing to indict Edward A. Dana for alleged death threats against Trump while in police custody.  His attorney Elizabeth Mullin says she has never seen grand juries this rebellious in two decades as a public defender.  Pirro calls them "politicized."  Are we sure she was once an actual judge?

Remember Elon Musk?  Having sorted out the federal government he has turned his attention to Europe ("The West"), warning that a combination of low birth rate and immigration will end civilization as we know and love it.  "Remigration is the only way," says the South African squatter.  It must be hard posing as a defender of western culture without coming off as a racist asshole, but I have faith in Captain Ketamine.  He has signed on with an English nationalist called Steve Laws and they agree that Nigel Farage is too conciliatory.  Every time you think it's the bottom of the barrel, there's another barrel.

Speaking of racists, the white right still thinks Andrew Cuomo has a chance to overtake Zohran Mamdani if they can persuade Eric Adams to drop out.  He has therefore been offered a job with HUD, the Official Black Cabinet Department of the Trump regime.  Since they don't do anything to promote affordable housing anyway, it probably doesn't matter.  Meanwhile J.D. Vance was on State TV/Fox whining that Mamdani is an ingrate.  "Is this a man who feels gratitude for the United States of America?...It would be nice for him to occasionally show a sense of gratitude instead of just attacking the US for all of its problems."  Have you ever run for office, Jadems?  Who gets up and says "This place is just perfect and all I can do is make it more so, please vote for me"?  Is that what Trump does when he proclaims great cities to be hell on earth and the people who live in them rapists and murderers?  Are you really that stupid, or do you just think dark-skinned immigrants should kiss your ass for letting them be dishwashers, orange pickers and your unfortunate wife?

And by the way, I like that his Xitter handle is "Zohran Kwame Mamdani."  He'll never give Trump the satisfaction he evidently gets from writing "Barack HUSSEIN Obama," as if he's just proved something.

The documents released by the Oversight Committee turned out to be hundreds of pages of court transcripts and other material already available.  The Double Secret Epstein file remains on Pam Bondi's desk, waiting to be published on a day when a vessel lands on the Ellipse and a guy named Klaatu with a British accent gets out accompanied by his robot.  Maybe not even then.  The regime warned that any MAGA who supports the release will be regarded as "very hostile" to the cult.  Which is of course the way innocent people behave.

Donald "The John" Trump is determined to get to heaven, but he needs $15.  Of all his grifts, I find this one the most hilarious.  "Join with MILLIONS of your fellow PATRIOTS by chipping in $15 to keep the wins rolling in!"

Wins like:

Federal judge invalidates freeze of $2.2 billion in federal grants to Harvard

Very conservative 5th Circuit Court of Appeals rules Trump can't use the Alien Enemies Act (1798) to deport people to Venezuela

Judge rules that the deployment of troops to Los Angeles violated federal law

An open letter from 593 economists condemns his attempt to fire Lisa Cook as Federal Reserve governor

A consent agreement between North Carolina and the Bondi Department will prevent the latter from stealing the right to vote from 98,000 people

A judge stopped the deportation of unaccompanied children to Guatemala

But if all it takes to move him into an imaginary place is $15, I'm in.

And finally, because we all deserve it, Pope Leo on a motorbike.

Some German bikers presented him with a BMW R18, but not to keep.  He will autograph it and it will be auctioned for charity.  He still has to use the clunky Popemobile.