Send out the clowns

 

"Someday -- and that day may never come -- I'll call upon you to do a service for me, but until that day, accept this justice as a gift..."

For Rod Blagojevich that day came last Thursday, when he was dispatched to Fox News to attack J.B. Pritzker for giving "sanctuary to thousands of criminals who come to America illegally, drug dealers and gang bangers, human traffickers and cold-blooded killers..." etc., etc.  The Trump-pardoned felon pronounced Chicago "the murder capital of the United States for thirteen straight years" without explaining why he did so little to stop it.  We are supposed to assume that every violent crime the city has seen since Capone left was the work of "illegals" and that Chicago is lucky it managed to hang on until the ICEstapo could ride to the rescue.  Good boy, Rod.  

They haven't ridden yet, though.  Pritzker's "Do not come to Chicago" seems to have made Trump hesitate.  He and Mayor Brandon Johnson will not be pushovers like Mayor Muriel Bowser, who made tracks for Martha's Vineyard when the APCs rolled in and has decided that she welcomes her DHS overlords.  Time will tell how their Lafayette Park landscaping turns out; people don't usually plant grass in September.

Call it sad, call it funny, but Trump decided to sign another meaningless EO yesterday butching up the DoD to WAR DEPARTMENT!!  (It has to be renamed by Congress, where his house pets are already at work.)  First he had to sign the Homebuyers Privacy Protection Act and its author Rep. John Rose (R-TN) was invited along.  Rose explained the bill so Trump wouldn't have to read it.  Then he presented a gift from a constituent, a folded American flag in a plastic bag.  "Oh, I could use that at night," said grandpa, until Rose explained that it wasn't a blanket or a pillow.  Another glimpse into his (let's say) thought processes.

So that's why the bone spurs!  Trump wasn't a coward, he was ashamed to serve in the military during the Vietnam War because it had gone woke.  In a rambling address to Congressional lemmings he explained that he "kept us out of wars" through "strength," the strength of the American military which he alone rebuilt in his first term and which deserves to be called a war department even though he is afraid to actually deploy it outside American cities, and that's why he should get several Nobel Peace Prizes.  The National Security Act of 1947, signed by the notoriously woke Harry S Truman, wrecked everything, along with his insistence on ending the proud tradition of racial segregation.  Don't worry, Greasy Pete is on it.  

Of course, there's peace and then there's peace.  The World Peace Tent has kept vigil across from the White House since 1981, through the Reagan years and all the Bush I and Bush II misadventures in the Midde East, without drawing official condemnation.  Not anymore.  Brian Glenn, amateur journalist and professional Margie Greene stud, pointed it out to the oblivious Trump and hinted that it had become "anti-Trump."  "Take it down, right now," The Leader barked.  He's not having any "eyesore" that he didn't create.

And today we get this:

To which Pritzker responded, "Donald Trump isn't a strongman, he's a scared man.  Illinois won't be intimidated by a wannabe dictator."  Sure, it's easy to talk when you're not in the Epstein files.

You have to admire the anti-vaxers' ability to diagnose people they've never met.  Roadkill Bob can walk through a crowded airport and spot the children with screwed-up mitochondria, sure, but that's nothing.  One of his "advisers," a British cardiologist named Aseem Malhotra, is certain that the covid vaccine is responsible for King Charles and the Princess of Wales having cancer, presumably from seeing them on television.  But weren't other members of the rather large family, including Queen Elizabeth, also vaccinated?  Along with millions of other people who are cancer-free?  He doesn't say.  Ever since the Terri Schiavo case, when Senator Bill Frist (another cardiologist) pronounced her close to recovery after watching a videotape, I've been wary of long-distance diagnoses from the politically biased.  (At autopsy it was found that Schiavo's brain was half its normal size, probably still more functional than Roadkill Bob's.)

The 9/11 memorial and museum in lower Manhattan must be dangerously woke because Trump wants to take it over, too.  Maybe it's just because it's run by Mike Bloomberg, who has criticized him.  Maybe it isn't sufficiently Trump.  Since the day of the attacks Trump did nothing but lie -- about how he saw Muslims "dancing in the streets" of Jersey City or possibly Hoboken.  (It's hard to check because no one else saw them.)  About how he personally led a crew to work on the "pile," the ruins of the collapsed towers, in search of remains.  About how he attended "dozens" of memorial services ("zero" seems to be a more accurate number) and donated "millions" to a charity for the families of victims (ditto).  Mostly he exulted that he now owned the tallest building in the Wall Street area, which is questionable but sounds like him.  So now it has to become the Trump 9/11 Memorial, with one of those Big Brother banners like the Labor and Agriculture Departments?  It has to be saved from the dishonor of being in a city with a Muslim mayor?  Ahh, I think we've got it.  Also needs more gold.

And speaking of pissy little bitches, Greasy Pete Hegseth has cancelled this month's alumni association event at West Point rather than allow its Sylvanus Thayer Award to be presented to Tom Hanks.  The actor was to be honored for helping establish Washington's World War II memorial and for starring in films like Saving Private Ryan and co-producing the HBO series Band of Brothers.  Alas, he raised funds for Joe Biden in 2020, so nothing else matters.  War Department?  Whore Department.

And now this:

No roses, no garden, just a slab of concrete and umbrellas that should say SABRETT.  Dues?  If you have to ask, you can't afford it.  Imagine wanting to sit outdoors in Washington in the summer.  I almost pity the ass-kissers.