You want fries with that?

 You can get a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, goes the cliche, and having been forced to serve on two of them I'm inclined to agree.   So the refusal of a grand jury to indict Sean C. Dunn for assault in calling a CBP officer a "fascist" and hurling a (non-ham) sandwich at him is both newsworthy and fun.  It's also a metaphorical hoagie flung at Jeanine Pirro and the fascist who hired her.  There was video!  Dunn was taken into custody by a dozen police!  But the jury was drawn from residents of the District of Columbia and they didn't consider standing up to fascism a crime.  Trump would like to abolish the federal judiciary, or at least the members who fail to understand that they have no power to foil him.  Can we expect an Executive Decree doing away with grand juries?

Here are some other residents of the District, National Guardsmen who undergo military training and also prepare to deal with emergencies like hurricanes and blizzards.  This week they were issued with weapons and ammunition.  It turns out that all they needed were Hefty bags and sharp sticks.  Yes, they are attacking Washington's horrendous crime problem by picking up litter in Lafayette Park.  A Cub Scout pack could have done it without putting on camo.  Or costing $429,000 a day.

Alzheimer's is a cruel disease.  Someone you love can seem fine one minute and fail to recognize you the next.  Caregivers learn not to take the things they say personally.  Here's a Mr. T. of Palm Beach and Epstein Island promising again to reduce drug prices by 1,500 percent so "there's no way a Republican will lose an election."

"I informed the drug companies.  I informed the world.  If countries in the world don't want to go along, then I'm going to put tariffs on those countries and I'll make -- we'll make more money but they have to go along with it...We're talking about where a product would sell for $80 in Germany and $1,300 here and we're not going to do that."  It might have something to do with Germany buying drugs in bulk and dispensing them to citizens through its national health service, but that wouldn't work here because SOCIALISM!!!  No one pointed this out, of course, just as no one explained that a 1,500 percent reduction in the price of anything is illogical and impossible.  Apparently the "New York Military Academy" did not teach arithmetic.

He then retired to the Beautiful Golden Gold Office and tapped out this particularly unhinged threat about George Soros and all the "Violent Protests" ravaging Our Country.  Sandwiches flying everywhere!

We all want America to "'BREATHE,' and be FREE," if only George Soros would let us.  And his "Crazy, West Coast friends" who are having altogether too much fun.

There was another horrific mass shooting in Minneapolis -- the children of Annunciation Catholic School were literally at mass when someone began shooting, killing two children and wounding 17 others.  Police say they barricaded the door and fired through a church window.  You're going to hear a lot about this, all of it callous and most of it stupid, because the shooter appears to have identified as transgender.  

Trump called for prayers, of course, adding a green checkmark to his "Gotta Go to Heaven" report card.  Then he turned his attention to matters of state, like "dope" Seth Meyers who has "the Personality of an insecure child."  (Yes, he did.)  Meyers, whose contract with NBC was recently extended through 2028, annoyed him most recently by pointing out that Trump bragged about acing that cognitive test but could not remember the name of the hospital where it was administered.  Walter Alston?  Willis Reed?  Something like that?  Another "dope" is Karl Rove, whose offense was failing to praise him by name.  Another executive order!

Maybe I'm also a dope because I can't figure this out.  Tatiana Orlova of Oxford Economics reported last week that Russia is headed for a recession, the result of a terrible harvest and international sanctions.  Ukrainian drone strikes against refineries and storage facilities are causing fuel shortages, especially in remote areas, and record high gas prices.  Russia depends on exporting crude oil to countries like China and India, so Trump decided to help by imposing a 50% tariff on Indian goods as punishment.  For buying Russian oil.  Let me go read it again.

Quarterback takes a knee!  Yes, that's Travis Kelce asking Taylor Swift to marry him -- and she said yes.  I don't know where they're registered but they're already getting gifts, like this piece of hilarious advice from Charlie Kirk:  "Taylor Swift might deradicalize herself...I want them to have lots of children.  It teaches you something about yourself...It's a great chance for Taylor Swift now to get married and have a ton of children...Reject feminism.  Submit to your husband, Taylor.  You're not in charge.  And most importantly I can't wait to go to a Taylor Kelce concert."  You do know she makes a ton more money than he does, right, Charlie?  And will probably go on doing so, because I can't think of a quarterback who has played past age 40 since George Blanda.  Maybe Travis will stay home and learn how to operate the vacuum.  Does that make your pecker shrivel, Charlie?  Does it?  Maybe he'll call himself Kelce-Swift!  Don't cry, Charlie, your little face will slide off.

Don't you love their garden?