The messenger boy

 Volodymyr Zelensky, president of Ukraine, is in occupied Washington today and he brought his posse:

Ursula von der Leyen, president of the European Commission

Mark Rutte, secretary general of NATO

Emmanuel Macron, president of France

Keir Starmer, prime minister of the United Kingdom

Giorgia Meloni, prime minister of Italy

Friedrich Merz, chancellor of Germany

Alexander Stubb, president of Finland

When they settle down -- please, let it be in a room less garish than the Oval Office -- Trump will deliver Putin's message:  

Surrender today, because Russia is big and has a lot of soldiers and weapons.  Forget Crimea, which is not his concern because it was occupied while Obama was president, bad Obama!  Give up the Donbas, Ukraine's industrial center.  Don't even think of ever joining NATO.  And wear a suit (Putin doesn't care but it's an obsession of Trump's).  Or this will continue:

That's an American M113 APC rolling into Ukraine under the Russian and American flags.  Propaganda network RT describes it as a captured "trophy" in case you thought Trump just gave it to Putin as a present, and why wouldn't you?

It wasn't even a challenge.  All Putin had to do was assure the boy that he won "by a lot" in 2020.  Purring and grinning, the messenger boy forgot all about Ukraine and delivered a letter from Melania, full of phrases about the "purity" and "quiet laughter" of innocent children.  We don't know who she cribbed it from but it's too gooey to be Michelle Obama.  

Meanwhile in Odesa:

And Kharkiv:

And Sumy:

Having completed his assignment, Trump has moved on to more important matters.  Still unable to grasp the concept of elections administered by states, he thinks one of his risible executive orders will abolish "MAIL IN BALLOTS" and "Highly 'Inaccurate,' Very Expensive, and Seriously Controversial VOTING MACHINES" for the express purpose of making Democrats "Unelectable."  And then he goes off on a tangent about "Men Playing in Women's Sports" and other outrages -- you have to read it to believe it:

Somebody missed his nap on the long flight from Anchorage.  Somebody is terrified that all the gerrymandering, census rigging and associated fuckery will not keep the House in the hands of Speaker-in-Tongues Mikey and the boys.  Somebody isn't seeing enough people being clubbed and stomped by troops on the mean streets of Washington.  A sandwich was thrown!  Insurrection!

Speaking of those "Seriously Controversial" voting machines, propaganda channel Newsmax has settled with Dominion Voting Systems for the bargain price of $67 million for claiming that the 2020 election was rigged.  They settled with Smartmatic USA last year.

Calling his statements "extremely salacious," Melania is demanding that Hunter Biden retract his statement that Jeffrey Epstein introduced her to her husband.  Her lawyer says he caused her to suffer "overwhelming financial and reputational harm" and she would like a billion dollars, please.  His response was, "Fuck that, not going to happen."  The deadline for filing the suit has come and gone, according to the letter.  Someone must have pointed out that Sugar Daddy went all the way to Alaska to distract from Epstein and her suit would just throw coals on the fire.  Also, deposing Mel would be even more hilarious than deposing Laura Loomer, and far more revelatory.  Anyway, HB doesn't seem worried.  Too bad -- I was looking forward to his lawyer asking to see that college diploma that qualified her for an Epstein Einstein visa.

Government data shows that wholesale vegetable prices rose by 38% last month, largely because of tariffs.  It probably doesn't help that many crops are going unharvested due to different but equally stupid Trump initiatives.  Time for some new statisticians at the Ag Dept.

Gavin Newsom is burrowing into MAGA's hide like one of those Texas screw flies.  He has mastered the bloviating style and posts all-cap tweets of constant mockery.  I wish he'd use lower case and simply Capitalize random "Words" like Trump, but it's a minor criticism.  Stephen Miller accused him of child sex trafficking for interfering with the ICEstapo.  Tomi Lahren simpered about "Gavin and his team of beta males who sit down to pee."  And White House oddity Steven Cheung uncorked his entire vocabulary:  "Coward...Beta Cuck...chicken shit."  Are they unaware of the Streisand Effect?  A month ago most Americans had never heard of Gavin Newsom.

Fascists leaders of the last century did not respond to criticism from mere comedians.  Hitler let others deal with irritants like The Great Dictator.  As the song asks, whatever became of class?  It's not just Trump -- smelling blood, South Park continues to hammer Kristi Noem and the DHS is responding by putting her in a $50 million ad campaign to tout its wonderful work in terrifying and abusing thousands of innocent people.  (What a coincidence -- the PR agency "People Who Think" is linked to Kristi's boy toy Corey Lewandowski!)  As a close student of ratings, Trump should take a look at this article in the Hollywood Reporter.  South Park was streamed by 6.2 million viewers over three days.  It looks like Paramount/Skydance was shrewd when it signed that huge contract with Parker and Stone.  Too bad the price was the destruction of CBS News.

If you hold a penny close enough to your eye, goes the adage, you can block out the sun.  Today's specimen is Gal Gadot, the star of yet another version of Snow White which ate a poisoned apple at the box office last year.  She is pretty sure the reason was the war in Gaza -- Gadot, an IDF veteran, got death threats after her co-star Rachel Zegler expressed support for the Palestinians.  It's possible that the movie had other problems, starting with Peter Dinklage's angry comments about the portrayal of the Seven Dwarves.  Maybe it just wasn't very good -- I haven't seen it -- and maybe Disney has exhausted the possibilities of that particular fairy tale.  Its failure might have nothing to do with the war.  Gadot has the ego of a movie star without the CV to back it up.  (Nobody should get death threats.  Stop it.)

I just read that Zelensky put on a suit jacket for the meeting.  Does the White House keep a supply of them like those restaurants that won't seat men without a tie?  Did they charge him for it?