Some days the bull gets you

 

I thought you should see the correctional institution where Ghislaine Maxell receives her mail.  Also her manicures and facials.  Bryan FPC, in the suburbs of Houston, offers a variety of services to help offenders return to society as productive individuals.  With a capacity for 1,100 inmates but just 600 residents, there is none of the overcrowding that makes other prisons so stressful, or the high fences and guard towers.  Library services, music programs, all kinds of sports -- I could use a change and I've never been to Texas.  I think I'd be good at training service dogs, a job from which Maxwell has been excluded.  "We do not allow anyone whose crimes include abuse toward minors or animals," said Paige Mazzoni, who runs the program.  "Those are crimes against the vulnerable and you're putting them with a puppy who is vulnerable."  So Kristi Noem...

If you're grinding your teeth over a procurer of young girls getting the deluxe treatment, take a deep breath.  It gets worse.  The Secret Service had the Army Corps of Engineers change the outflow of Caesar Creek Lake in Ohio so J.D. Vance and his family could spend his birthday kayaking on the Little Miami River.  It's remarkable what American taxpayers can still afford.  The Guardian says it's not unusual for the ACE to accommodate public river events and training for emergency responders.  For one privileged lout, it seems to be new.  I remember how Richard Nixon, whose resignation we will soon celebrate, used to crank up the White House air conditioning so he could enjoy a fire during the summer.  That was Tricky Dick's problem -- he thought small.  It never occurred to him to cling to power by tinkering with the Constitution to see if anyone noticed.

And the torch has been passed to a new generation...

Zohran Mamdani got two pieces of good news this week:  he leads Andrew Cuomo by 13 points in the latest poll and Trump is considering campaigning in New York for either Cuomo or Eric Adams, depending on which of them will make him look less like he's attached to a loser.  Oh, please!  Madison Square Garden should be easy to book at this time of year.  If that racist comedian isn't available, he can bring Superman.  Not a good one -- Dean Cain, who starred in the TV series Lois and Clark back in the 1990s, has abandoned show business to answer his culture's call and join ICE.  Probably a good career move, since his recent credits include Iron Dusk, Letters at Christmas, And God Made Man and several other things I never heard of.  He just turned 59, so I assume he'll mostly drive the van and pose with Kristi in his costume.

Despite the shooting at Fort Stewart yesterday, Pete Hegseth thinks there isn't enough mindless violence in the military.  He announced the end of "weak, woke, politically correct" training and the return of tactics like the "shark attack," where a group of sergeants scream into the face of a recruit who doesn't seem to be getting with the program.  They will also be permitted to throw soldiers' gear on the floor and force them to pick it up, the purpose of which is unclear.  It seems like the army is doing a capable and efficient job without all this dumb posturing.  At Fort Stewart it was a sergeant named Quornelius Radford who shot five soldiers with his personal handgun.  Hearing the shots, some unarmed soldiers tackled Radford; others, including Staff Sergeant Melissa Taylor, a medic, rendered first aid.  All five are recovering because of the woke, politically correct response.  Hegseth would like to keep women like Sgt. Taylor out of the military.  Sgt. Radford may agree -- two of his victims are women.

When you get a dinner invitation to Mar a Lago, don't forget to RSVP and BOAB (bring along a bribe).  Oliver Burckhardt made a $5 million donation to one of Trump's grifts and went home with a Medicare waiver for one of his companies, Extremity Care, which makes expensive medical products.  Apple CEO Tim Cook handed over a block of gold to get a tariff exemption (I'll bet Trump doesn't call him "Tim Apple" again).  What's in your wallet?

Mylie Biggs, daughter of Rep. Andy Biggs (R-TN) is running for the Arizona state senate even though she doesn't believe women should run for office.  Now I really want to go to Texas and spend time with those puppies.

In other animal news, police in Hadley, Massachusetts, are looking for beekeeper Rorie Susan Woods, who missed her court date.  In 2022 sheriff's deputies were serving an eviction notice when Woods unleashed two hives of bees on them; two with allergies required medical treatment.  It's a happier story in South Africa, where Dallas millionaire and trophy hunter Asher Watkins spotted a "Black Death" buffalo he needed for his collection.  The buffalo spotted him first and avenged the poor wildcat and countless others.  Quick, show him a picture of Junior Trump!