Mixed messages

 "I fought for every single one of your rights to express yourself in however you feel that you may want to express yourself.  There's a First Amendment right to burn the American flag.  No president can make a law, period."

With those words a still anonymous man who described himself as a 20-year veteran of the Army set fire to a flag in Lafayette Park "as a protest to that illegal fascist president that sits in that house."  The Park Police arrested him for having a fire in a public park.  

Meanwhile the fascist was holding one of his typically incoherent pressers from behind the desk.  Today's Nobel bid was a boast about the wars he has ended.  This time the number was three, including "Rwanda and the Republic of the Congo" where "nine million people were killed with machetes."  He put a stop to it, "deep into deepest, darkest Africa," which proves that ordering troops to occupy majority black American cities with non-white mayors is not racist.  "I love black people.  And I did great with the vote of the black people."  Trump certainly seems frightened by the idea (or the "optics") of American troops dying in foreign engagements.  He's happy to violate Mexican sovereignty with drones and to order a few bombing sorties over Iran, but the invasion of Greenland apparently has been postponed indefinitely.  

Nevertheless he's unhappy with the designation Defense Department.  Not butch enough for the country that "won everything."  So he pretended that it was Hegseth's fervent wish to be a Secretary of War.  Greasy Pete promised that "a little vote" is coming soon, whatever that means.  And so it went, back and forth, like the flickering neurons in his brain.

Of course Trump doesn't love all black people.  Many are "evil people" who worked for Joe Biden and "have to be brought down 'cause they really hurt our country."  One such is the Federal Reserve Governor Lisa Cook, who he tried to fire yesterday.  Having no real cause, he decided to accuse her of claiming two primary residences to get a better mortgage rate, the same "crime" for which he wants to imprison Adam Schiff.  It would be laughable even if Trump were not one of America's leading real estate crooks.

"No police officer working in the city can remember a time in their lives when there has [sic] been no murders," declared Stephen Miller (except for last February).  "People can walk freely at night without having to worry about being robbed or mugged."  (I thought they were the same thing.)  "They're wearing their watches again.  They're wearing jewelry again."  They're leaving their doors unlocked and openly counting stacks of $20s from the ATM!  Trump says 95% of residents welcome armed troops as liberators; a Washington Post/Schar School poll says 17%.  Take your pick.

The next phase of the War on the States is heating up in Maryland.  Having set his failing sights on "crime-ridden" Baltimore, Trump spurned Governor Moore's invitation to walk the city with him and added a threat to cut off funds for the Key Bridge.  Then the Bondi Department sued the state's entire federal bench after the chief judge ordered an end to the deportation of migrants.  That unprecedented junk suit has now been tossed out by US District Judge Thomas Cullen of Virginia, a Trump appointee.  Yesterday Trump decided to tell reporters that Moore had called him "the greatest president of his lifetime," a lie Moore was quick to shoot down.  "Did Wes Moore, the Governor of Maryland, lie about getting a Bronze Star?" Trump wrote on Ministry of Truth Social.  "Did Donald Trump, the President of the United States, lie about an injury to dodge the Vietnam draft?" retorted Moore.  "Trump is doing everything in his power to distract from the Epstein files.  Really makes you wonder..."  Tune in tomorrow.

Today the president of South Korea Lee Jae-myung ventured into the Offal Office full of well-rehearsed praise for its tacky gold decor and Trump's personal triumph in goosing the Dow-Jones.  Lee wanted to talk about tariffs and relations with North Korea but Trump's brain lice weren't having it.  He delivered another weird rant about magnets instead.  "We're heavy into the world of magnets now."  China's planes needed parts but he wouldn't let Boeing supply them because "they weren't giving us magnets."  You know, the ones that don't work when they get wet.  Social media reactions ranged from "Even Forrest Gump would be better" to "Please make it stop."  

Maybe it's the fat jokes, maybe he's still smarting from that destroyer that capsized on launch, but Kim Jong-un has not been taking Trump's calls.  It can't be tariffs -- we don't trade with them.  Imitation is said to be flattery, so Kim should be thrilled to see Trump's vast face adorning so many buildings -- the Agriculture Department and now the Labor Department, too:

Clearly he pines for the first administration, the beautiful letters from Kim, the exchange of salutes with his generals...

So few people really appreciate him.  Surely Kim should be impressed by the federal government buying stock in private corporations, first Intel and now Lockheed Martin.  You could almost call it the first step toward nationalizing them.  Just don't use the dreaded word "socialism."

And finally, Gavin Newsom continues to achieve the impossible:  MASA.  (Make America Smile Again.)

I WANT THE SHIRT.