The gold standard

Imagine, if you will, that a reporter asked Joe Biden why his Defense Department paused supplying missiles to Ukraine and got the response "I don't know.  Why don't you tell me?"  It would run day and night with the chyron "MENTAL BREAKDOWN?"  Jake Tapper would be halfway through his next book.  In the House MAGAs would be slugging it out to be first to introduce articles of impeachment or demand the activation of the 25th Amendment.  It's a big deal, not like getting someone's name wrong.  For Trump it's just another Wednesday.  Never has anyone been lavished with more praise while failing to meet even the lowest expectations.

As far as we can tell Hegseth or some underling ordered the supplying to end while Trump got on the phone to his friend Putin and begged him to stop attacking civilian targets in Ukraine.  After Bibi's endorsement he could smell that Nobel, and then he'd show that arrogant Obama!  Of course Putin told him to go fuck his dead grandmother (an actual Russian expression) and stepped up the attacks.  At yesterday's Cabinet meeting Trump said, "We get a lot of bullshit thrown at us by Putin...He's very nice all the time but it turns out to be meaningless."  Putin has been grooming Trump since the 1980s and Donny is finally, dimly, beginning to grasp that he may not be the one in charge.

Mostly the Cabinet were assembled to express their gratitude to be living in the same era as Trump and having the privilege of serving him.  A great deal of time was devoted to slandering CNN reporter Natasha Bertrand for refusing to parrot his drivel about the "perfect" attack on Iran.  He's threatening to sue CNN and the New York Times, and considering how fast Paramount/CBS caved he'd be a fool not to.  Still more time was devoted to how hard he worked to make the Cabinet room look like a Marriott hotel by the airport in Ronkonkoma.  "We also painted the room a nice color, beige color, and it's been really something.  The only question is will I gold leaf the corners.  You could maybe tell me...You see the top line moldings and the only question is, do you gold leaf it?  Because you can't paint it.  If you paint it, it won't look good because they've never found a paint that looks like gold."

Nobody is panicking about this week's round of Tariff Bingo because, well, TACO.  Tariffs are no longer an economic tool, more like the equivalent of an enraged all-caps TRUTH at three in the morning.  Brazil got hammered with 50% because they decided to ignore Trump's rant and forge ahead with following their own laws on Bolsonaro.  Other countries chosen at random included Sri Lanka, Brunei, the Philippines, Algeria, Moldova, Iraq, Libya, Indonesia, Thailand and Bangladesh.  They go into effect August 1 unless they don't, for instance if the Sultan of Brunei comes across with a really swell "sorry I missed your birthday" present.  A solid gold elephant maybe.

 

As for the rest of his merry pranksters, it's TACOs all the way down.  Brooke Rollins (Agriculture) wants people thrown off Medicaid to be forced to perform farm work, replacing migrants who have been rounded up by the ICEstapo.  This replaces an earlier scheme to have some of them released to the "custody" of farmers, which is essentially a new version of slavery but would make sense -- Rollins doesn't seem to understand how brutally hard it is to pick crops in 100-degree weather.  But that idea made the feed-'em-to-the-gators base go crazy.  I hope she has a back-up back-up plan for when low-income store shelvers and waitresses start keeling over among the avocados so their kids can see a doctor.  

Roadkill Bob Kennedy (Health!) once railed against ultra-processed, salt-laden foods but I guess he's changed his mind.  Today he promoted an outfit in Oklahoma called "Mom's Meals," which packages the stuff and ships it across the country.  The state's Medicaid program buys the "meals" and distributes them to the old and sick.  Christofascist Governor Kevin Stitt recently signed the "Food Is Medicine Act" designed to keep such programs profitable, so everybody's happy.  I'm reminded of Nelson Algren's Rules of Life:  Never eat at a place called Mom's.  Never play cards with a man named Doc.  Now what was the third?

Never mind, it's running like a watch.  A $600 RUMP watch.