Driven to distraction
As Chuckles Grassley opens the 63rd investigation into Hillary Clinton's emails, it is important to remember that he will find no pictures of her and Jeffrey Epstein ogling middle school girls in a modeling competition. Unless he has some made up by AI, but Grassley barely understands how the internet works. All he knows is how desperate Trump is for any distraction.
Item: Trump is promising to bomb Iran some more, which always gets the top spot on the nightly news.
He could have continued the initial campaign for three weeks, as CentCom wanted, but a plane could have been lost or an American killed. It never occurs to him that the Iranian foreign minister might be fibbing for reasons of his own. Also, it's another chance to type OBLITERATED in all-caps and rage about CNN and MSNBC and his obsession with their ratings.
Item: Mike Johnson is obeying orders to shut down the House tomorrow to prevent any Epstein action until at least September. Before he could do so, the Oversight Committee voted to subpoena Ghislaine Maxwell; Mikey calls this "political games" although the Committee, like all the others, is controlled by MAGA. Apparently he doesn't care if it derails Comer's investigation into Autopengate and his cherished fantasy about getting rid of Justice Jackson.
Item: If there was one picture of Barack HUSSEIN Obama with Epstein, even shaking hands on a rope line, it would be the background of every Fox News show. So Trump is going all-in: "Gabbard has submitted a criminal referral. Who should the [Bondi Department] target?" "It would be President Obama. And Biden was there with him...the leader of the gang was Obama. Barack Hussein Obama. He's guilty. This is treason." The president of the Philippines looked on, understandably confused.
Item: Not content with insisting on racist names for sports franchises, the cult continues its fouling of America. House Republicans forced the Kennedy Center to rename one of its venues the "First Lady Melania Trump Opera House," to honor the First Escort's devotion to the arts, like shopping and Botox. Sorry, I threw up in my mouth a little.
Item: Despite objections from his family, the FBI is releasing 200,000 pages of records the agency accumulated while spying on Martin Luther King, Jr. This was the response of his daughter Bernice:
Item: Testing the limits of "presidential immunity," Trump contemplated "revoking" the citizenship of Rosie O'Donnell, who now lives in Ireland. Ellen DeGeneres moved to the UK because of Trump and George Clooney has lived for years in Italy. Why not hold a MAGA Hate Rally and ceremonially cancel the citizenship of everyone he hates? That should give the knuckle-draggers something else to fixate on and keep the lawyers busy for years.
***********
Did you hear that Jerome Powell resigned today? Mike Lee did, and he couldn't wait to share it on Xitter. "Powell is out," he crowed, before being told it was a fake. Come on, people, making a fool of Lee is like teasing a dog. We're better than that.
Everyone at the DoD who could organize a parade or secure classified bombing plans has been fired but that doesn't mean priorities are being forgotten. The White House got an eleven-page memo describing the actions taken to "monitor intimate spaces." It's part of the regime's obsession with where people can pee. Door signs must "reflect biological sex" and be continually monitored. Warfighting -- it begins with using the right bathroom. All departments are subject to this, but Piss-Drunk Pete went all out to display his obedience. I wonder if his make-up studio is unisex.
Stephen Miller has pored over the employment records of the company that built the Empire State Building and concluded that no "illegal immigrants" were involved. No, I'm joking -- he pulled that out of his ass in front of Laura Ingraham, who did not dispute it. Also NASA. "When you look at the photos of the NASA control room during the moon landing, you don't see any illegal aliens." You know, olive-skinned men with mustaches and sombreros, eating quesadillas. He can tell their immigration status just by looking. Like this hero of the American space program, shaking hands with his ex-boss.
It's not a question of legal or illegal, it's not even "radical left" politics. It's Racism 101, as performed by MAGAt Matt Walsh. Rep. Maria Salazar (R-FL) proposes "amnesty lite" for migrants and the implied criticism of America set him off: "How dare you come here and start telling us that we aren't allowed to have a country anymore? You should be ashamed...How dare -- get the hell out. Seriously. Standing there talking about shameful moments...You want to talk about 'we,' go back to Cuba and talk about 'we.'" Salazar was born in Miami. Calm down, Matt. Walsh...Irish? You guys want to go easy on the booze. Go back to your island, I hear the potatoes are growing again. You won't have to learn the name of another vegetable. Or how to catch a fish.
See how easy it is? I didn't even bring up the Magdalen Laundries.
Someone put a magazine down a toilet and the blockage caused Michael Flynn to back up onto the Steve Bannon podcast. He's demanding that Barack Obama's passport be cancelled and that all the airports be watched lest he flee the country, because that's what Crazy Mike would do. The plumbers should be finished by five o'clock.
Imagine if Obama -- or anyone -- posted something this batshit:
Comments
Post a Comment