Doodle bug
What did the president doodle and when did he stop doodling? is something no one ever asked before, but it has become the question of the day. It all started when the Wall Street Journal jumped into the Epstein donnybrook by revealing the existence of a special book presented to Jeffrey Epstein on his fiftieth birthday by his closest friends, including Trump. According to the Journal Trump's contribution is "several lines of typewritten text framed by a drawing of a naked woman. His signature is a squiggly 'Donald' below her waist, mimicking pubic hair." Subtle. The Journal did not publish the card, and Trump immediately denounced it as "false, malicious and defamatory." "I never wrote a picture in my life. I don't draw pictures of women," he asserted. Junior rushed to daddy's defense, accusing the paper of "fake journalisming":
Daddy don't doodle, eh? How long did it take Jeff Tiedrich to track down this Trump drawing which sold for $30,000 in 2017?
"I don't draw pictures. I told Rupert Murdoch it was a Scam, that he shouldn't print this Fake Story. But he did, and now I'm going to sue his ass off, and that of his third rate newspaper. Thank you for your attention to this matter," the artist wrote. Pubic hair, asses -- maybe I should flag this "Rated R." Really, it adds little to the story that couldn't be gleaned from a dozen photos. We just wonder if he draws women any better than buildings.
Wasting no time, sycophantic Florida Rep. Randy Fine already has a bill -- a bill -- to force the House to cancel its Wall Street Journal subscriptions. He's the one who refers to all Muslim representatives as "terrorists." Here's something Fine could better concentrate on: Florida has had eleven cases of Vibrio vulnificus (flesh eating bacteria) this year, with four fatalities. Why don't you try blaming it on Hamas?
More interesting, the first realistic information about Trump's health has been reluctantly reported by the White House. In response to questions about his swollen ankles they acknowledged "chronic venous insufficiency, a benign and common condition" in old people who avoid exercise and eat junk food. Professionals responded, "Pull the other one." "I do believe he has congestive heart failure and is most likely on a stronger blood thinner like Eliquis," wrote one geriatric nurse practitioner. So Trump has one thing in common with FDR beside being born in New York.
Also, his trademark Homer Simpson pants are not concealing the catheter. So much for Ronny "Rodeo Clown" Jackson and his prediction about living to 200. I worry about the health of our sailors in the hands of people like that.
In a "jerking off" gesture to Trump and his secretary of health and human suffering, Coca-Cola says it will continue to use corn syrup instead of cane sugar -- good news for midwestern farmers, better news for investors who shorted high fructose corn syrup futures yesterday. Is there still any doubt that this administration is a racket? This is what the Wall Street Journal should be writing about.
The war on Powell continues, with TACO backing away from trying to fire the Fed chair. He did, however, acknowledge appointing him in 2018, after someone explained how calendars work, before blaming Joe Biden for not firing him. Progress? Powell seems untroubled by being called a "numbskull," a word I first heard Moe apply to Curly, or possibly Larry.
"Rosebud," the sled from Citizen Kane, was just sold at auction for $14.75 million. When I think of the lousy acting jobs and commercials Orson Welles had to do to finance his subsequent films, I begin to think this may not be the best of all possible worlds.
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