Do the right thing

 

I leafed through Miss Manners's Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior but there was nothing about what to bring to the second wedding of someone who shares your interest in statutory rape, which is probably why Epstein has no gift in his hands.  Also, is he wearing jodhpurs?

The Macrons have been observed to spar in public but they're agreed on one thing:  Candace Owens is scum.  Brigitte and Emmanuel Macron are suing the Fox nuisance for defamation because she keeps telling her audience that Brigitte was born male, that they are blood relatives committing incest, that Macron became president of France as part of the CIA's MK Ultra program, and various other things that pop into her head on any given day.  It's not clear why Owens is obsessed with the Macrons and not, say, the Grimaldis of Monaco or the royal house of Liechtenstein, but we may learn more in discovery.

After the Iran bombing misstep in which she revealed actual intelligence, Tulsi Gabbard has returned to favor by taking the lead on the latest Hillary Clinton emails sideshow.  She held a White House press conference and "released" the news that Putin actually had compromat on Clinton in 2016, and also she was all hopped up on "a daily regimen of heavy tranquilizers" to handle her "psycho-emotional problems, uncontrolled fits of anger, aggression and cheerfulness."  It's easy, you just replace "Trump" with "Clinton," stir and serve over toxic ICE. 

One thing the skunk-striped one can't do, however, is deny Hillary's command of English.  Here's Trump moron-splaining why he's really the victim:

"But what we found is even more so.  We found absolute -- this isn't like evidence or the -- this is like proof.  Irrefutable proof that Obama was sedatious [sic], that Obama led, was trying to lead a coup...it was Obama and it says so right in the papers.  And everything.  Got everything.  This is the greatest scandal in the history of our country and it really goes on even to the autopen."

I look forward to the autopen being dragged in shackles to prison to face charges of violent sedation.  Or maybe it's Trump who needs sedation.

Today in distraction news, occasionally useful idiot Rand Paul demanded that Dr. Anthony Fauci be indicted for lying to Congress, mostly to test the Biden pardons.  How delicious it would be if they were found invalid and all the recipients became subject to Trump's endless revenge!  Paul has bought into the nonsense about the National Institutes of Health-funded virus research in Wuhan because reasons.  He also resents real doctors with real qualifications.

Trump's distraction today was another promise to lower prescription drug prices "not 30 or 40 or 50 percent, which would be great -- we're gonna get 'em down 1,000%, 600%, 500%, 1,500%.  These are numbers not even thought to be achievable.  Because I used a certain talent that I have and convinced the drug companies that you have no choice."  Blackmail?  Extortion?  Never mind, he's rolling.  Something about other countries not being allowed to sell cars here.  Yes, all the pharma companies will start paying you to take their drugs!  It's a miracle.  Coming in two weeks, I'll bet.  Also the incredible hotness of Tulsi.  He said "hotness" so many times I think she may have given him a boebert.  Also Japan will invest $550 billion here just because he told them to.  So no more Epstein, OK?

It's fun to laugh at Grandpa Syphilis and his delusions of adequacy, but we also risk distracting ourselves from the massive humanitarian crisis in Gaza.

Food is all but impossible to find because of the Israeli blockade and the funny game where they lure people to distribution sites and shoot them.  Children die every day and doctors and nurses are too weak from hunger to treat them.  This dovetails nicely with the plans to deport the survivors and break ground for the Trump-Netanyahu Hotel and Casino.  The slogan of the Holocaust survivors -- "Never again" -- now concludes "to us." 

The American response is typified by the newly anointed member of the House Foreign Affairs Committee, Randy Fine (R-FL).  Fine, who violates the House's "One Pair of Pants at a Time" rule* and calls all Muslim members of Congress "terrorists," is pretty relaxed on the subject of hunger, writing on Xitter, "Release the hostages.  Until then, starve away."  Well, kids, you heard the man.  Where are you keeping the hostages?

That's Randy on the right, making Trump look svelte as long as you can't see his ankles.

RIP CBS News.  As soon as Skydance completes its takeover of Paramount Global, it will make sure the network is operating "in the public interest" by appointing an ombudsman to make sure nothing displeases Trump and his cult.  Bye-bye, DEI.  Go interview some greeting card poets, Sixty Minutes.  Get ready to spend another $20 million bribe on "PSAs or advertising that are supportive of causes important to HIM."  And at the very least, keep this man's name out of your halitosic mouths.

*I try not to body-shame but when you say "Go starve," you're asking for it.