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 FLORIDA SWINDLER PARDONED!

Lawrence Duran, who ran a string of clinics that billed Medicare for $200 million and was sentenced to fifty years for fraud in 2016, had his sentence commuted.

MAINE SENATOR CONCERNED!

Susan Collins is not sure how she will vote on the budget bill that would strip millions of low-income people of Medicaid and SNAP.  She says she is talking with colleagues and will wait until the last minute to deliver her customary party-line vote.

TRUMP APPOINTEE IS LITERALLY IN BED WITH RUSSIA!

Darren Beattie, who dismantled the State Department's Russian disinformation unit, is married to a Russian woman with connections to the Kremlin.  He also holds interesting views about the sterilization of "low IQ trash."

HUCKSTER HUSTLES FOR HASH HOUSE!

Trump, who once pitched Teslas from the White House grounds, further debased his office by plugging Kid Rock's Nashville restaurant on his social media account.

SATAN CITED BY BANKRUPT MAGA PILLOW MAKER!

As his defamation trial began in Denver, Mike Lindell accused Satan of rigging voting machines against Trump in 2020 because "this is a nation that turned its back on God."  He did not explain why the Evil One failed to intervene in 2024 after four years of Satanic Bidenism.

F FOR FUNNY!

FEMA director David Richardson told staffers he was unaware that there is any such thing as hurricane season.  (You're soaking in it!)  According to Reuters, "It was not clear to staff whether he meant it literally, as a joke, or in some other context."  Yes, it was.

THIS GUY AGAIN!

Floyd Brown, fired from the Kennedy Center after Ric Grenell heard about his anti-LGBTQ statements, blames Satan.  "I was praying circle prayers around the building...I knew from day one, because of the discernment given to me by the Holy Spirit as a believer, that I was contending in a spiritual battle...the more Christians I brought in the door, the more Satan was pushing back...I really think that's main reason that I was fired."  So they're going ahead with the drag show Mrs. Doubtfire.

EVANGELICAL NUTBAG FOR FEDERAL BENCH!

The appropriately named Josh Divine holds many if not all MAGA views but adds that Christians are "obliged ethically to impose their beliefs on others."  Trump wants this creature to have a federal judgeship for life.  One ray of hope is that he was hatched by the Federalist Society, currently on the Naughty list because of "scumbag" Leonard Leo.

"HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE TRUMP?" ESSAY CONTEST ANNOUNCED!

All applicants for jobs in the Executive branch must prove their patriotism by analyzing historic American documents -- not the Federalist Papers, not the Articles of Confederation, but executive orders by Dear Leader.  This includes people who want to be surgeons, nurses, economists and janitors.  

IN A RELATED STORY...

The Medical Council of Canada says the number of American physicians applying to relocate to Canada has increased by 750% over the last seven months.  Apparently "socialized medicine" is not as gruesome as the AMA always said it was.  At least not compared to the improvements being introduced by Roadkill Bob and his shaman general.


PRIDE MONTH?  SPITE MONTH!

This is the USNS Harvey Milk, a replenishment oiler named for the assassinated San Francisco supervisor.  Take a good look, because Piss-drunk Pete has ordered it re-named.  This is his way of "re-establishing the warrior culture" -- what ship of the line could fight effectively after being refueled by a sissy?  The Milk is a John Lewis-class vessel, ships meant to be named for "prominent civil rights leaders and activists."  The USNS John Lewis will probably be re-named for Herschel Walker.

THE TASTE OF RAGE!

MAGA continues to brush off TACO insisting that it's childish and stupid, while erupting with every mention of Trumpelthinskin's transparently thin skin.  Eric Swalwell made them squeal just by posting a video of himself biting into a Taco Bell crunchy.  Remember the way Joe Biden shrugged off "Let's Go Brandon"?  Hey, it's TACO Tuesday!  The Democrats are parking a taco truck near the RNC headquarters in Washington with this on the side:


When Trump isn't chickening out, he's waffling.  Today he changed his mind about Iran, allowing enrichment of uranium while negotiations drag on.  Would Waffle House like to get in on this?


















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