The crazy never sleeps
All right, it's Friday. Let's get it over with.
We're getting a new holiday. "Many of our allies and friends are celebrating May 8th as Victory Day, but we did more than any other Country, by far, in producing a victorious result in World War II. I am hereby renaming May 8th as Victory Day for World War II and November 11 as Victory Day for World War I."
Any high school students want to point out the problems? Some countries mark May 8 as the end of the war; for us (and the UK, Australia, New Zealand, et al.) it ended with the Japanese surrender on August 15, 1945. Also, we did not do "more than any other Country" since our participation began only on December 8, 1941. About 405,000 Americans were killed, against 24 million Soviet citizens, 19,500,000 Chinese and 5,600,000 Poles. Also, November 11 used to be observed as Armistice Day, recognizing that the First World War ended in an armistice; many Germans, including Adolf Hitler, never acknowledged that Germany (like Trump in 2020)* was defeated. The war officially ended when Germany signed the Treaty of Versailles on June 28, 1919. In 1954 Armistice Day was re-named Veterans Day to honor all American veterans, including those who had died in the Korean War which also ended without victory. In short, it's another dumb idea from an ignorant draft dodger whose administration has been unspeakable in its treatment of veterans.
The Department of Veterans Affairs is cutting 83,000 jobs and veterans are losing health care, housing options and even their suicide hot line, but all can enjoy the expensive Dear Leader Birthday Parade on June 14. A lot of the military hardware he craves will have to be brought to Washington by train or plane, and we are promised 6,600 soldiers, 50 helicopters and seven bands. It's not clear who will restore the district's streets after the tanks and APCs are gone, but it won't be FEMA. Cost? Who can say? But it has to be bigger than the Bastille Day parade he has envied since 2017.
If you're disgusted by the way Amazon wimped out on disclosing tariffs, why not buy from Wyze?
In other tariff news, Airbus won't pay the tab when its planes are delivered to US airlines, which means that ultimately passengers will. American Airlines has five coming this year, so be careful when you book.
"People have seen it takes longer to fly, there are more delays and there is much more frustration," said Sean Duffy, insinuating that the culprit is Pete Buttigieg and not Elon's DOGE goblins. The DoT is offering insultingly small bonuses to air traffic controllers who agree to work "harder to fill" locations or to work past the retirement age of 54. Luckily Trump was lying about tourism -- according to Air France and Lufthansa, bookings to the US are tanking for this summer. It seems people would rather skip the Grand Canyon and the Statue of Liberty than risk two weeks sleeping on a cement floor because ICE found a Trump joke on their phone. Cancelled flights mean less work for ATCs. MAGA!
Not everyone who works for Dear Leader is an idiot, reports Rolling Stone. In fact some are already hoarding food and other supplies against the coming tariff war shortages, while ordering the cult to do no such thing. If the big-box stores empty out sooner than expected, that's probably why. But there's no need to stock up on toilet paper if you live near the border -- Mexico's got you covered!
It's been a long week -- I need some fun. The Wall Street Journal predicted that Tesla's financial woes will result in Elon Musk being replaced as CEO. This was too much for his mommy Maye, who pronounced the article "dishonest" and specified what was wrong with it -- it was written by three women, or as she calls them, "retards." The whole family is classy like that. Notice she didn't say "untrue." I think we can better understand why her darling boy sees all women as sperm receptacles.
In the first act of Cyrano de Bergerac a foppish Viscount imagines he can play the dozens with the greatest swordsman and wit in Paris. "Your nose is...is very big!" Cyrano responds with about a hundred lines showing him how it's done: "Dramatic: 'When it bleeds, what a Red Sea!' Admiring: 'Sign for a parfumery!' Simple: 'When is the monument on view?'" If you're going to be insulting, put some effort into it, in other words. One of Jimmy Kimmel's writers must be a student of French literature, because Kimmel offered some things Trump might like to say about the rotund J.B. Pritzker that are funnier than "he wants to eat all the time." As the governor laughed, Kimmel suggested JB the Hutt, Pritz Crackers, Governor Big Shorts, JBLT and JB Pizza. "He loves to make fun of people in any way he can. Frankly, that's how you know he's afraid of you," Pritzker observed before selecting JB Back Ribs as his favorite. But we'll probably get a lot of recycled Chris Christie gags from Trumpelthinskin, who can't laugh at himself and doesn't want anyone else to.
And now I'm hungry.
*Oklahoma plans to teach children that the election was stolen. No word yet about the "stab in the back" legend, Creationism or flat-earth science.
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