M'aidez!

 

Hooray, hooray, the first of May, outdoor protests start today!

And as millions of Americans venture into the spring sunshine with their signs demanding CONSTITUTONAL GOVERNMENT and DUE PROCESS and NO UNLAWFUL SEARCHES AND SEIZURES and other radical concepts, all of them paid by George Soros or George Clooney or George "Gabby" Hayes, the White House launched WHWire, its own propaganda site designed to ease the lie burden on Karoline Leavitt, Stephen Miller and the Cabinet.  A bemused Matt Drudge couldn't help noticing its resemblance to his Drudge Report only with "taxpayer dollars."  The appalling poll numbers announced last week demonstrate that the regime can no longer rely on even Fox News to serve its shit parfaits with fudge sauce and a cherry.  Et tu, Rupert?

The lying Cabinet surpassed itself in singing Trump's praises.  Normal presidents meet their cabinets in private and discuss serious business, but this bunch understand that when the cameras light up it's time to don two hats and compete for the most nauseatingly servile hosannas.  

Stephen Miller is not in the Cabinet because there is (currently) no Secretary of Hate, but he was over in the briefing room burbling about how Trump "literally saved America" and how his "first, last and every thought" is full of love and care for his subjects.  Some of them.

Not the spoiled children who expect more than one Christmas present.  The thinning out of store shelves is Biden's fault, nothing to do with his suicidal tariff war with China.  "Maybe the children will have two dolls instead of thirty dolls, you know?  So maybe the two dolls will cost a couple bucks more than they would normally," he said, showing he knows as little about toys as he does about groceries.  I have no idea what the "hot" toys are but I know they're not dolls.  I also know that even in MAGA households no child wants to be told, "Be patient, Mr. Trump says a new golden age of free XBox is coming."

Not people who want to celebrate Independence Day by making a lot of noise.  NBC News reports that US fireworks sellers are cancelling shipments from China because of the absurd tariffs -- this year and also for next year, the 250th anniversary of the Declaration, currently not on display because Dozy Don needs it in his pimped-out office.  I live in Savannah and I can tell you this is a big deal -- every holiday here involves fireworks, including Christmas.  China, according to NBC, makes 75% of fireworks used in professional shows and 99% of those sold to consumers.  They invented fireworks, after all, long before 1776.  But we invented burning crosses, so...

The Chinese even have a chokehold on Halloween.  Costumes that cost $19.99 will now cost $39.99, says Supply and Demand Chain Executive, and even masks will more than double in price.  But everyone knows Halloween is about worshiping Satan and also LGBTQ, so who cares?  Only department stores and the owners of costume shops.  And again, the children.

Frequent fliers are acquainted with the Global Entry Program run by the CBP, which enables those who are prescreened to pass through airport security without being scanned, removing shoes and other annoyances.  As of yesterday this no longer includes cybersecurity expert Christopher Krebs, who found out abruptly that he had been cancelled.  Krebs's offense was to certify that the 2020 election had not been hacked.  The price of doing his job conscientiously is to stand in line with the rest of us, because no grievance ever goes unanswered.  Cross another name off the Revenge List.

Between cabinet meetings Brainworm Bob Kennedy keeps his fictionalizing skills sharp by pulling statistics out of his ass and inventing wild stories.  "Seventy-four percent of kids can't qualify for military service," he told NewsNation, without citation.  (Well, a hundred percent of female kids if Sneaky Pete has his way.)  "MMR vaccine contains a lot of aborted fetus debris and DNA," which is why Mennonites and other religious groups prefer measles.  "Thirty-eight percent of kids are diabetic or pre-diabetic."  The other day he insisted that half the people in China are diabetic, so we're doing all right.  Kennedy has a problem with the very basis of medical science, germ theory as propounded by Robert Koch in 1884.  He has plenty of other idiot beliefs but he got his job by attacking Anthony Fauci ("Little Napoleon") in a 2021 book.  Hating Fauci is the idiot's delight.

The Department of Health and Human Services under Kennedy is an irony out of 1984.  Everything it has done in a hundred days has made Americans more susceptible to sickness and death.  Everything.  The $56 million grant to distribute Narcan and train first responders in its use, which reduced overdose deaths by 24 percent?  Gone.  Fluoride as a tooth decay preventative?  He's working to eliminate it, a goal of crackpots since the John Birch Society in the 1950s.  Simple record keeping?  Databases are expensive to maintain just so a bunch of pointy-headed researchers can see what other researchers have already done.  

The Justice Department, which is also run by the dregs of humanity now, cancelled a settlement agreement with Lowndes County, Alabama, labeling it "viewed through a distorting DEI lens."  The settlement would have provided the county (rural, poor and black) with a sewage system to keep human waste from backing into people's yards, thus discriminating against white people who don't have to live in shit (according to the Trumpspeak Dictionary).  The people of Lowndes County will continue to sicken and die and the Department of Health and Human Services should be screaming bloody murder about this.  Are they?  Don't be silly.  They're gearing up for yet another study of the cancer-cell phone "connection," ignored by the Biden administration because Biden didn't recruit fools.  (Robert F. Kennedy, Sr., was radicalized when he visited places like Lowndes County as attorney general.  He couldn't believe Americans lived like that in the 1960s.  It was so very long ago.)

Kennedy loves to talk about a golden age when nobody died of autoimmune diseases and nobody had learning disabilities (except his Aunt Rosemary).  That's because they were dying of tuberculosis, pneumonia, syphilis, cholera, polio, black lung, industrial and agricultural accidents, and toxic food and water, conditions we can prevent with vaccines and cure or manage with the antibiotics he believes are a Big Pharma conspiracy.  A hundred years ago nobody died from fentanyl -- they died or were crippled by poisoned liquor.  (The poor, of course; the rich had cellars full of wine and fine liquors and the middle class had speakeasies and bootleggers.)  Hardly anyone lived long enough to worry about Alzheimer's.  Obesity was not a big problem in the 1930s -- see the photographs of Dorothea Lange.

In short, like every golden age since Ovid originated the term, it was a fantasy of the past.  It's not coming back no matter how much simpletons yearn for it.  Tell us, not-a-Doctor Bob, what causes AIDS if not HIV?  Should we stop organ transplants and blood transfusions because fringe religious groups disapprove?  Would you recommend that people treat ADHD with heroin, as you did for fourteen years?  If you're a paragon of health, why do you sound like Jack Benny's Maxwell stuck on ice?  Do you really believe Ashkenazy and Chinese people are immune to covid?  Conspiracy much?

Despite strenuous efforts by every other department I believe this man will eventually be responsible for more preventable American deaths than guns, road accidents and TikTok stunts combined.  Avian flu is warming up in the wings and Dr. Fauci can't help us now.

Every single word is a lie except "I didn't take over until January 20th."  Impressive.

I wasn't joking about the hats.  I gave up trying to satirize these gargoyles a hundred days ago.

Uh-oh.  Call Cheung, he needs a fresh nappy.

El Salvador must be filling up because Marco Rubio has opened talks with Rwanda about becoming a dumping ground for immigrants.  Before anything gets signed he should read this (but he won't).  The Sunak government tried to ship asylum seekers to Rwanda until the UK Supreme Court told them it would violate British and international human rights agreements.  I know such details don't matter to the Felon and his gang, but the Brits spent millions of pounds and ultimately deported one person (voluntarily).  It's just not cost effective.

U.S. District Judge Fernando Rodriguez, Jr., just ruled that using the Alien Enemies Act for the purpose of deportations is illegal.  "Allowing the president to unilaterally define the conditions when he may invoke the AEA...would remove all limitations to the Executive Branch's authority under the AEA," he wrote.  "It would also strip the courts of their traditional role of interpreting Congressional statutes to determine when a government official has exceeded the statute's scope.  The law does not support such a position."  Impeach!  Defund the courts!  Must investigate!  Who appointed this woke leftist lunatic to the Southern District of Texas?  Trump?  

Never mind.