Enlightening the world

 

Since the United States is destined to be the world's punchline-by-association, we might as well sit back and enjoy the show.  At least Americans are searching bits of history they can twist into justifications for Planegate, as the Qatar bribe has inevitably but tiresomely become known.  The above was re-posted on Truth Social just to own the libs.  Did you know Liberty Enlightening the World (her full name) was donated by France?  Trump certainly didn't.  Also the Resolute Desk, a gift from Queen Victoria.  Did you know that Congress approved both?   

Some points:   1. Neither France nor Britain expected anything in return.  2. Anyone can visit the Statue of Liberty.  3. Maybe it's just me but a woman with a sign around her neck is disturbingly reminiscent of slave auctions.

I'm sure Congressional approval is available.  Right now Mike Johnson says he's busy with the budget and besides "it's not my lane," i.e., Trump hasn't told me what to do.  Then he added the obligatory slander of "the Biden crime family" who were accepting 747s and real estate deals from terrorist-supporting dictators "behind curtains," unlike Trump who is incapable of shame.  Perhaps one day he will share all the evidence produced by two years of investigations, but for now -- prayer time!  

Right now Mikey's Playhouse is embroiled in a scandal of its own.  The House Republican Conference forgot that English is the Official Language and put out an anodyne social media post in Spanish, and now MAGA wants los Republicanos fired, if not killed.  A Texan named Sara Gonzales demanded "The fuck is this shit??" which is all kinds of hilarious.

And who needs other languages when Trump is inventing new English words all the time?  The other day he was explaining his toothless executive order to lower drug prices:  "Basically what we're doing is equalizing.  There's a new word that I came up with, which is probably the best word."  Of course some Trump-hating Marxist with an OED pointed out that equalize dates to 1599, but he'll be singing a different tune when Trump and his Sharpie change the English language to the American language.  It's happening, Limeys.  Ask the Gulf of America.

Who doesn't want to enjoy that new plane smell?  Rep. Lauren Underwood (D-IL) was leafing through the proposed budget when she came across a $50 million Gulfstream V for peripatetic ICE wrangler Kristi Noem.  Just a little pink one for quick trips to the border to pose with shackled deportees, as you do.  She already has a Gulfstream V but I guess the ashtrays are full.  And unless the UAE or Kuwait steps up, this one will be a present from us.

What were you doing on "Liberation Day" eve?  Hanging up decorations, wrapping gifts?  Pam Bondi, the nation's chief law enforcement officer, was dumping between $1 million and $5 million worth of Trump Media stock, which tanked the next day.  I'd say she deserves a free Gulfstream but it looks like she can afford to buy her own.  Is it insider trading if you went outside to call your broker?  Waiting for clarification from the Bondi Department.  By the way, they just opened an investigation into United Healthcare for Medicare fraud, causing their stock to collapse.  I'm just going to assume Bondi sold hers yesterday.

Are you a farmer?  Are you struggling to hold onto your farm?  Are you regretting your vote?  Then I recommend staying away from the Department of Agriculture, lest you behold this:

BIG BROTHER IS -- oh, you know the rest.

And Big Brother offered another history lesson about the Fourteenth Amendment and birthright citizenship as the Supremos look for a reason to undermine it.  It's for the "BABIES OF SLAVES" and not those "people pouring in from South America," and we're "SUCKERS" because no other country has it.  Except for the 33 countries that do, while many others have a mixed policy.  There's a map.  Quite a level of incoherence even for BB.

Tim Petit is disappointed.  And who's he when he's at home in Rhode Island?  He's the mug who paid $600 for a Trump watch ("for the Trump Woman in your life") for his wife Melanie, but the watch face says "RUMP."  "We expected that it would have the integrity of the President of the United States," Petit told WJAR-TV with a straight face.  After the interview aired he got an $800 coupon and an apology, which is more than the victims of Trump University got without a lawsuit.  

The Chinese moon mission Chang'e 5 returned in 2020 with tiny glass beads indicating that the moon had active volcanoes 123 million years ago.  I don't know what this adds to the sum of human knowledge but I'm glad someone is still doing science.