Not ready for self-government

 It is time to acknowledge that we are no longer a serious people.

K$H Patel has been fired as acting director of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, but not because Laura Loomer questioned his loyalty to The Leader.  It seems he hasn't been showing up for work.  He is still director of the FBI, so that must be where he spends the day.  Army Secretary Daniel Driscoll will take his place at ATF, so for now he has two jobs.

According to Newsmax host Rob Schmitt, elections are a "huge liability."  The absence of elections, he says, is the source of Xi Jinping's strength.  "Trump talks about that a lot," Schmitt goes on.  "He's jealous of that because imagine what you could do if you could not have to worry about every two years, you got to get everybody re-elected...it weakens our country in a lot of ways."  These clowns complain about elections even when they win.  It's a troubling habit.

Also jealous is the House minority leader:  "I write to request a one-on-one debate, formally known as a colloquy, on the House floor tomorrow with respect to the Republican Budget Resolution."  That Cory Booker thinks he can talk.  Hold my beer, writes Hakeem Jeffries, adding in a tweet "Mano a Mano."  This sounds like something Linda McMahon should be promoting.

The panic about turning into (shudder) a woman continues to bubble up.  Yesterday it was gender authority Jesse Watters:  "When you sit behind [sic] a screen all day it makes you a woman.  Studies have shown this.  Studies have shown this.  And if you're out working, like building robots like Harold, you are around other guys.  You're not around HR ladies and lawyers that gives you estrogen."  Uh, Jesse, HAL is not short for Harold.  

Today we have a new contestant, a Christian nationalist pastor from Tennessee named Andrew Isker, who was flying to Florida with an "associate" he identifies as CJ.  "I had to be molested at the airport...just because I'm not going to go through the 'gay beam' machine.  I didn't let CJ do it...I said, 'You're getting patted down too, buddy....It appears having a guy touch you all over the place seems worse but you don't really know what those things are doing to you.  They can just take a picture of me naked?  Like, no."  It seems that TSA scanners shower you with "virtual adrenochrome" and then, well, I have no idea but it's better to be felt up.  Much better.

The US is not the only country beset by troublesome judges.  The Romanian Constitutional Court threw out the results of its election and barred Calin Georgescu from running again because they found evidence of Russian interference like the kind The Leader received.  Outraged, The Leader has sent Junior Trump to rendezvous with Andrew Tate and other ultranationalists to make sure someone like Georgescu prevails in the do-over.  ("Hey, I've got this!" said Putin.)  If that happens, say goodbye to the Constitutional Court and probably others.

How would you like to be a master of the universe (as Tom Wolfe called Wall Street types) trying to outguess a demented moron every day?  This morning The Leader must have had an excellent bowel experience because he decided to "pause" tariffs for ninety days on most countries, including the penguin-only islands, and raise them to 125% on China because they showed "lack of respect to the world's markets."  Whatever that means.  But Cal-Maine, America's biggest egg producer, is doing gangbusters, posting triple the profits of this time last year.  It's so egregious a price-gouge that even the Bondi Department is taking an interest.

The re-industrialization of the US has hit a couple of snags.  Despite The Leader's boasts about iPhones being made here, Apple says the workforce does not exist and plans to keep manufacturing in Asia.  Also Microsoft has cancelled plans to build data centers in Ohio but promises the land they acquired will be used for farming.  They will throw in utility and road upgrades, which is better than waiting for that infrastructure bill The Leader has promised since 2017.

Because the air is insufficiently polluted, The Leader signed four (4) executive orders to promote the burning of coal and protect miners from too much safety regulation.  I hope they're grateful.  He likes to be thanked.

It took an order from another wise-guy federal judge, Trevor N. McFadden, to get AP's White House privileges restored no matter what they call the Gulf of Mexico or Mount Denali.  McFadden was incompletely vetted before The Leader appointed him and appears to be familiar with the First Amendment.  But Stephen "Renfield" Miller has a solution:  defund all the federal courts.  Yes, but where will The Leader file his lawsuits against broadcasters and newspapers which displease him?  It's one of his most profitable grifts.  He pocketed $15 million (for his "presidential library") by bringing a bullshit defamation suit against George Stephanopoulos and ABC/Disney.  With corporate media cowardice at a record high, no telling how much he can rake in.  Back to your lair and think again, Steve.

When Jeremy Hunt was in the British cabinet a BBC news presenter became the news by referring to him as "Jeremy Cunt."  Justin Webb, meet Rep. Tom Emmer, House whip and warm-up comedian at the Republican NRCC dinner:  "President Cunt -- Trump is counting on us!"  Well said.