LOVE and UNITY

 

Funerals are long and boring, especially when you're jetlagged.  Worse, they're not about you.  Before HHS went full "We'll end cancer through bleach and pushups" someone should have studied the effects of combining Adderall and Ozempic.

Or perhaps there is something called Fourth Stage Syphilis.  For instance:

The hundred-days polls are out and oh, lordy, many people are saying they're the worst since polling began.  New York Times/Siena 42%, ABC News/Washington Post/Ipsos 39%.  You know the rest:  "These people should be investigated for ELECTION FRAUD.  THEY ARE SICK."  I assume he refers to the 2028 presidential election, which in his "mind" he has already won.  Anyway, it woke him up.

The little mouse turd he installed as Speaker rushed to his defense:  Trump has accomplished more than "most politicians or presidents accomplish in their entire lifetimes."  Arguably true if you're ignorant of the New Deal, but that's the problem, Mikey:  most Americans don't like it.   Six percent of Trump voters say they regret it, and that's probably a low number because they're embarrassed to admit they were conned.  Although hard-driven Amazon warehouse workers are enjoying the respite.

Some third-party sellers have said they will not participate in Prime Day this July because of the tariff madness involving merchandise from China.  Nice work, Jeff, keep up the groveling.

It looks like this week's must-read will be "I Run the Country and the World," where Dozy Don lets his hair down with two reporters from the Atlantic and its "total sleazebag" editor Jeffrey Goldberg.  He's "having a lot of fun," he confided, which might be the sickest, most horrifying thing ever uttered by anyone who was not Jack the Ripper.  Instead of a knife which might slip and injure his soft, manicured hands, Trump's weapon of choice is the lie.

"We all love America."  The trouble is that he never learned to differentiate love from rape.  

A few weeks ago Warfighter Pete was dispatched to Panama to study the Canal Zone and came back to report that it reeked of Communism, children studying Mao's thought, people singing "The East is Red" in every taverna, it was horrifying, and no, he swore he hadn't had a drink.  Clearly this could not continue and appropriation was discussed.  Cooler heads prevailed, however, and this week Trump is willing to settle for free passage through both the Panama and Suez Canals for all American ships.  By tomorrow he'll probably demand that Panama and Egypt pay him personally for not invading them.  Rubio has been ordered to "take care of" this.  Or else.  Don't think he's forgotten how you failed to take part in the tag-teaming of Zelensky, Marco.

In today's elections the Liberals are up by four points but they'll do better if Trump keeps threatening Canada with statehood.  Fortunately he's too demented to understand this.  In fact, it sounds like he thinks he's on the ballot:

If they lose it will be amusing to hear him try to pronounce "Poilievre," but that's just me.

ICE never sleeps.  Last week they cracked down on the Cuban-born mother of an infant and three US citizens age 2,4 and 7, who were sent to Honduras with their Honduran-born mothers.  Only the four-year-old was undergoing cancer treatment.  Today we learn that they snagged a real threat to national security, 54-year-old Cliona Ward.  

Ward was in Ireland visiting her sick father.  She has been here for forty years and has a green card, but ICE grabbed her in San Francisco for a 2007-8 drug possession charge she thought had been expunged.  Now she's in their Tacoma prison camp to re-think her life choices and since Ireland is a small country, Taoiseach Micheal Martin is getting involved.  I feel safer.  How about you?

Another germ that never sleeps is Acting US Attorney Ed Martin.  This week he's going after Wikipedia for "allowing foreign actors to manipulate information and spread propaganda," which is clearly Karoline Leavitt's job.  Does he know how Wikipedia works?  The threat is loss of tax-exempt status, which the IRS would normally handle had it not been DOGEd into submission.

When publicsq.com was founded to promote MAGA-friendly businesses, it never occurred to them that it could be used to identify and avoid the same.  As with Wikipedia, they don't understand how the whole internet thing works.  They called it "The Green Book but for conservatives."  I call it "Fascists organizing boycotts for us." Or as one user wrote, "Helping the trash take itself out."

It's best when the dopes hire dopey lawyers.  In the matter of Dr. Eric Coomer v. Pillow Mike Lindell, the defendant's attorney submitted a brief which, according to the judge, contains thirty errors including citations which do not exist.  Maybe AI is not quite ready to replace organic intelligence.

Not content with systematically trashing the interior, Trump decided to turn the outside of the White House into a free billboard for the celebration of cruelty and lawlessness.  

I don't see any graphic artists, Turkish graduate students, judges or toddlers.  Maybe they're around the back.  

Peter Doocy didn't have enough sense to refrain from asking, "Would you ever arrest somebody higher up...like a federal judge or even a Supreme Court justice?"  And Karoline Leavitt didn't have enough sense to refrain from responding, "Anyone who is breaking the law or obstructing federal law enforcement officials is putting themselves at risk of being prosecuted, absolutely."  We're deep in the heart of Orwell, where ruling as a judge is "breaking the law" and the Ministry of Love is where you go to be tortured.  I'll leave it there.  You brought the monster to life, Mr. Chief Justice, now you get to pursue it to the North Pole.