Know your enemy

 


Propaganda minister Karoline Leavitt denounces Amazon's plan to list tariffs alongside prices as "a hostile and political act," holds up picture of Jeff Bezos so the cult will know who to target.  Bezos will call the White House Office of Reconciliation to find out how much money to transfer to the "Trump Library and Golf Museum."  Meanwhile Amazon courageously backs down:  "The team that runs our ultra low cost Amazon Haul Store has considered listing import charges on certain products.  This was never a consideration for the main Amazon site..."

 UPS, anticipating a drop in Amazon deliveries, today announced that it is laying off 20,000 workers, or four percent of its workforce.  The good news is that truckers who still have jobs will be fluent in English.  This very important qualification is to be enforced by the Department of Transportation, which is commanded to devise and administer a test.  

Leavitt has purged the White House reporters down to a small chorus of praise-singers.  When the "English only" decree was announced a Florida "media influencer" named Arynne Wexler was beside herself:  "I can attest to the deportations in Florida, my Uber drivers finally speak English again."  It's a MAGA miracle.

It only seems as if Congress never does anything.  Yesterday it passed the Take It Down Act by 409-2, making it a federal crime to post revenge porn.  Since those are two of Trump's favorite things it will be interesting to see if he signs it.  (The two who have no problem with deepfake porn are Thomas Massie (KY) and Eric Burlison (MO), in case you'd like to be tased for bringing it up at their next town halls.)

Many talked about it but Shri Thanedar did it:  The Congressman from Michigan introduced articles of impeachment charging Trump with "abuse of power, flagrant violations of the Constitution and acts of tyranny that undermine American democracy and threaten the rule of law."  Trumpanzees rebutted the charges by posting that "people born in other countries shouldn't be allowed to serve in Congress," unless they are Senator Bernie Moreno, who was born in Colombia.  Also, Elon Musk.

Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre implored Trump to "stay out of our election" but it didn't help.  Not only is he not the new prime minister, Poilievre lost his seat.  An older lady in Ottawa called Trump "an asshole," which for a Canadian is practically an F-bomb.  The Liberals were down by 25 points when the 51st state garbage started, so this is a comeback of DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN proportions.  The SNP should invite him to denounce Scottish independence before the next referendum.  He's already as popular there as Man United.  That Trump is proud of his ability to influence other people's elections, even against his own apparent interest, should in no way be seen as evidence of mental impairment.  And if it is, he will unilaterally cancel the 25th Amendment.
 
Neil Young has allied himself with the terrorists by writing a song.  "Let's Roll Again" invites Ford, GM and Chrysler to "build us something that won't kill our kids," and if that's too subtle, he concludes, "If you're a fascist/Get a Tesla/It's electric/It doesn't matter."  If Young's summer tour includes the US I'll be very surprised.


From the great Stan Rogers, Canada's unofficial anthem, "Northwest Passage."














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