First night

 

Hours after the end of the Passover seder, a fire broke out in the governor's residence in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.  Governor Josh Shapiro, his wife, their four children and guests were sleeping in another part of the house and were safely evacuated.  A 38-year-old man was arrested and charged with attempted murder, terrorism and aggravated arson.  He used Molotov cocktails to start three fires after breaking a window with a hammer.  His mother told CBS News that he is "mentally ill and went off his medication," that she tried last week to get police to take control of him.  Because it's 2025, online MAGA is already claiming he attended Kamala Harris rallies and is associated with BLM and pro-Hamas groups.  A seemingly genuine 2021 Meta post by the accused, Cody Balmer, appears to bear out his mother's account:  "Biden supporters shouldn't exist.  Where were you his first run?  Well aware of the trash he is.  As for the second, still knew what scum he is.  Now why did y'all forget?  What, because he did?"

Cody Balmer is not the only person who stopped taking his meds.  The Leader spent Sunday night as he always does, watching 60 Minutes to get his hate on.  Then he grabbed his Chinese-made iPhone and began posting lies about the show and its evil intentions toward him, insisting for the 865th time that the 2020 election was "STOLEN," and calling on his FCC whore Brendan Carr to release the hounds "impose the maximum fines and punishment, which is [sic] substantial."  Also, they had a story about Ukraine which made Russia look like the aggressor.  "CBS is out of control, at levels never seen before" (of course), and he still thinks networks have licenses which can be revoked.  It looks like CBS will have to at least match the $15 million bribe he got from ABC.

The Leader had no comment on the assassination attempt in Harrisburg -- he was busy composing a Holy Week message to Christians about "our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ."  I wonder which church he will be honoring with his presence next Sunday.   It was left to J.D. Vance and Pam Bondi to condemn the attack on "the highly overrated Jewish Governor of the Great Commonwealth of Pennsylvania."  

It sounds like Stephen Miller's prescription also needs a refill.  Every time he gets in front of a camera, even in the safe space provided by Fox News, he starts screaming.  Bill Hemmer started to ask about Kilmar Abrego Garcia, the Maryland man who was dragged away from his traumatized autistic son and who even the Supreme Court unanimously said should not be in the Salvadoran gulag.  Miller went from zero to hysterical so fast, Hemmer was confused:  "You haven't even allowed me to ask a question."  The Salvadoran dictator who made the deal to become Trumpomuskovia's Madagascar, Nayib Bukele, was in the chair that recently held Bibi Netanyahu's tuches this morning, insisting he could not "smuggle a terrorist into the United States."  (As Nixon might say, it's not smuggling when the Chief Justice and his associates order it.)  By the way, this is how Bukele dresses to call on The Leader, and his country is not at war:

It's a new week and time for another disturbing story about Sneaky Pete Hegseth.  He's back from a trip to Panama and told Maria Bartiromo he could "feel" the Communism in the Canal Zone in spite of "pro-Trump, pro-America President Molina" who is "sticking his neck out" against the Chinese who operate the Canal.  "Maria, you could see it, you could feel it."  (What Pete probably felt was beetles crawling over him, a common symptom of his delicate condition.  I've watched The Lost Weekend enough times to know what comes next:  mice and bats.  Get to a meeting, Pete.)  Those "Communists" are a Hong Kong firm who have operated two ports since 1997; most Canal operations are done by Panama and President Molina says there is "no possibility" of negotiating a transfer.  That's why Pete is putting together a plan for The Leader to invade and occupy, as soon as he's done liberating Greenland.  

Whether you believe Barcelona's Sagrada Familia basilica is a wonder of the world or a Disneyland attraction that never quite came together, you'll be interested to know that its architect Antoni Gaudi is in line for sainthood.  Apparently people pray to him for miracles and I guess he's coming through for them, although still a civilian.  And it isn't even finished yet, 1882-?  According to a search, no other architect has been canonized, not even Michelangelo, although St. Thomas the Apostle is their patron.  See what you can learn on the World Wide Web?

Here's a young American with an agenda.  Try to follow it.  According to the authorities in Wisconsin, Nikita Casap, 17, killed his parents to get "financial means and autonomy" to foment a race war.  He planned to assassinate The Leader and "perhaps the vice president," thereby causing chaos and encouraging others to "save the white races" from "Jewish controlled politicians." The police say he "lived with the bodies of his parents for weeks."  That's about it, except it says he paid for "a drone and explosives."  I'd be happier if those were secured.

I could try writing about the Tariff Wars but the numbers change every day, depending on what The Leader has for lunch.  But it's not just the rest of the world that's banging its head on its desk:  "On Friday US Customs and Border Protection reported that an entry code in the US system for American ships to use to have their freight exempted from tariffs isn't working...As a result, no tariffs are being collected by the US government for the time being."  Nada.  Zip.  Bupkis.  MAGA.

And more good news:  Harvard has found its backbone at last.  University president Alan Garber writes, "No government -- regardless of which party is in power -- should dictate what private universities can teach, whom they can admit and hire, and which areas of study and inquiry they can pursue."  In other words, pound sand, Donnie.  May this embolden Columbia, Brown, Yale, Stanford, and all the others with fuck-you endowments.  This is the rainy day you saved for.