American vaudeville

 Reporter:  "There was a car bomb in Moscow this morning that killed a Russian general."

The Leader:  "Who killed what?"

Reporter:   "A Russian general killed by a car bomb."

The Leader:  "Well, you're just telling me that for the first time.  Where did this take place?"

Reporter:  "It took place in Moscow.  It was a Russian general."

The Leader:  "That's hitting close to home, right?  That's a big one.  I'll look at it.  If I hear anything I'll let you know."

(orchestra plays, curtain)

During the intermission we invite you to think about the Sunday talk show explosion had this exchange occurred between Reporter and Joe Biden.  

Scene ii:  Roman Holiday

Dressed uniquely in blue -- why lay out for black clothes when you hated the deceased? although he did pull out yellow hair dye -- The Leader preens in his front-row seat at St. Peter's.  The Vatican's arcane protocol would have relegated him to the third row behind the anointed monarchs but Their Majesties were good sports about it despite his assaults on their laws and economies.  As a gesture of defiance the Vatican also seated the presidents of France and Ukraine in the first row, so at least The Leader did not need to shove these two diminutive men aside to get the coveted place.  Because you know he would.  Ask Dusko Markevic.

For Zelensky, primo seating came at a scalper price.  He had to sit down with his nightmare first.

"So you own a suit.  That's a good suit.  I once had to punch my kid because he wanted to go to a baseball game without a suit and tie.  You should have worn the suit.  It's very important.  You know, Putin is a very sharp guy, very smart cookie, but I'm starting to think he's just tapping me along when he says he wants peace.  I think maybe I'll have to buy him off.  I make the best deals, beautiful deals --

"Mr. President, can I go back to Kyiv and have missiles fall on me so we don't have to talk anymore?"

(orchestra plays Ukrainian national anthem, blackout)

Scene iii:  A true act of contrition

Dedicated MAGA ex-Congressman George Santos vowed not to ask for a pardon after being convicted of identity theft and wire fraud in connection with his 2022 campaign -- until the judge gave him 87 months in prison.  Then he cried and composed this moving post:

Of course the sentence was "politically influenced" because felons are victims, and no one knows that better than The Leader.  Just the other day he had to pardon this woman, a former Las Vegas city councilor who raised money for a statue of a murdered police officer but decided she needed it for more pressing things...

...including her daughter's wedding, rent and plastic surgery.  How is a Republican supposed to get a fair trial in blue Nevada?  If Michele Fiore qualifies for a pardon, so does Santos.  Those federal judges think they're so important.

Scene iv:  You ain't seen nothin' yet

If you remember the British film of 1984 you certainly remember the image of Big Brother:

But are you ready for Big Leader?

Probably not, but that really is the White House gallery and the young woman seems amused.  Will Hillary Clinton or Laura Bush be first to request her portrait's removal?  Stay tuned!

(J6 choir sings "Tomorrow Belongs to Me")